After Rain Blackfeather explained in explicit detail how this would work, Patrick looked at her with a dumbfounded expression.
“You've gotta be shitting me.”
“You thinking I'm shitting you?” asked Rain dryly. “What are you, a bigot against witches?”
All the blood started to drain out of Patrick's face once again. He raised his hands up in protest and said “No! No! I'm just shocked.”
Rain smiled coyly.
“Girls, I think Patrick here is the new Matthew Hopkins Witchfinder General. Should we be shaking in our boots yet?” she asked, her eyes darting up at her friends standing in the doorway.
Kylie Perkins and Kat Graves both nodded their heads sarcastically in the affirmative, Kat's ponytail bobbing up and down with her enthusiastically.
“I'm positively terrified” joked Kylie, her voice just as dry as Rain's. “Not of him, I mean. He's cute I guess. I mean with gingers having no souls. You just can't tell what's gonna happen when there's no souls to bargain with. We could accidentally summon a hoard of zombies or something.”
“Or maybe cause the Apocalypse?” suggested Kat, shrugging her shoulders playfully.
They all began laughing arrogantly, as if this were a private joke among themselves. Sandra and her soon to be girlfriend were not laughing.
“But yes, Patrick” continued Rain, “Magic is real. No, we're not going to give you a demonstration of what we're going to do to you. Trade secret. All you have to do is arrive at the address on the card I gave you on the date specified, walk up to the diner, and order a chocolate soda with a lemon twist. I suggest asking for some ice cream as well, but that's just me, and we'll take care of the rest. No muss, no fuss. No one will ever know that Patrick O'Brien ever existed. They'll only know your new identity.”
“This sounds too good to be true” stated Patrick. “And you know what they say about things that sound too good to be true.”
“Hey, even if we're a bunch of con artists, we're only ripping you off out of thirty dollars. At least you're getting a really tasty beverage and an adventure out of the deal.”
Patrick turned to Sandra and said: “Honey, surely you can't be serious about this.”
“Don't call me Shirley” replied Sandra deadpan. “We go. Tuesday. Anything to get you out of the funk you're in.”