But suddenly you remember that you don't have time to be messing around in random magical parks. You slip back out the gate and scurry back home. The mystic sex changing demon hiding behind the bushes in the park sighs in disappointment.
You are a bit of a genius, You're not afraid to admit that fact, it's true. You can speak 15 languages fluently, you can recite the first 300 digits of pi, you build a robot cat at the age of nine (though all it did was sleep all day), and you even figured out what the meaning of life is. Sadly you forgot it before you could find something to write it down on... Which is why you always carry a note pad on you at all times!
Despite all this evidence to the fact that you are objectively superior top all other men, you don't seem to have much luck with women for some reason. You don't know what you're doing wrong, you even avoid bathing in order to alow your natural pheromones to flourish! You guess it's because women are intimidated by how amazing you are.
Unfortunate, but such is life. Regardless, you still need some form of companionship, you're starting to get pretty lonely and still being a virgin after all these years is really starting to affect your self-esteem.
This is why you have decided to apply your massive intellect to solving this problem. The amazing and ingenious idea that pops into your head is...