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Animalia Ambassadoria: Early Goofy Goober Edition

added by makutamon 7 years ago O

“Hello everyone and welcome to a new episode of Animalia Ambassadoria.” Began Roland.

“Sarah and Malice aren’t with us today because they’re in training for the Miss Year of the Dog Zodiac Competition.” Said Sophie.

“We’re also doing both our Goofy Goober Edition with our Valentine’s Day Special because this year the Chinese New Year lands on February 16th and we’ll be covering that then.” Said Abby.

“But before we begin, a big thank you to watchmojo.com and The Smoking Gun for their silly clips and color commentary.” Said Jessica.

—-

“If you’re trying to prove yourself better than a rival to win an Animalian’s affections, don’t do it in a way that hurts yourself and/or others as collateral damage.” Said Abby. Then they showed a clip where two guys were competing against each other for a basset hound Animalian’s first date. What they were doing was competing to see who could eat 12 croissant cheese sandwiches before the other guy. When the score was 11-11, they were about to begin on the last sandwich each when they suddenly began throwing up. Fortunately, at that moment it went to a complete green screen to hide the graphic images, with someone in the background yelling “Oh the humanity, it’s everywhere!”

There were other similar clips of this sort, like a human breaking an arm while arm wrestling with a horse Animalian, or another human trying to impress a female tree frog Animalian with some “spider-man” wall climbing on a stairwell, then slipping.

—-

“If you’re going to do martial arts moves, make sure you can do it right before showing it off.” Said Sophie. The scene then cut to something shot at the Golden Mountain Dojo. One human had a drink can balanced on his head and his back turned on his friend. His friend had to do a jumping spin kick to knock the can off. The only problem was that the blow was a little low, and it resulted in his friend getting a headache.

There were also some other martial arts mess-up clips like this, ranging to the simple “nunchuck numbnuts” goof to rookies messing up pro moves. Fortunately, one of the teachers there said that “even if you’re really good or really skilled at something, you can still mess up.”

—-

After that there was a brief interview with Anton about Project White Lily. While Anton made it clear that a lot of it was to counteract long term health problems from steroids/performance enhancing drugs, other parts of it included dealing with psychological problems that led to using those drugs. Project White Lily already had its first convert, Larry from Anton’s competition days.

He was an Australian Bodybuilder who was rather notorious for his height, his stage name (in accordance with the times) was Larry Shortstack. Fortunately, he managed to win a few competitions while competing with Anton; unfortunately that was because he was juicing, as the slang term was known, over the controversy over his height. But fortunately it wasn’t to the extent that some of the more modern competitors did, so the health problems commonly associated with juicing weren’t as serious. When he learned that his old rival Anton was starting Project White Lily, he signed up immediately before his health problems got worse.

After his conversion, he was now a frilled dragon that, while still a head shorter than Anton currently was, could give him a run for his money. While Larry had technically completed the program, he still had to complete the other, mental part of the program.

—-

One heart touching moment touched upon in the episode was how the Johnson Family, recently married, learned after the fact they were carriers for a rare, and ultimately fatal genetic disease that was like multiple sclerosis for infants, and their newborn son now had that disease. But when Project Pheonix opened up, they immediately signed their whole family up to both save their son and purge themselves of being carriers.

It was when they arrived that they learned about Project Dinotopia and signed up for it. While the mother signed them all up to be Maiasaura, the husband wasn’t as big on it but went along with it for his wife. Young Jake was now perfectly happy and healthy, as much as an infant Maiasaura Dinotopian could be; Annie was all set on getting a degree in pediatric care and nursing; and her husband Ralph was working with construction. Both Annie and Ralph performed at the Meat Market at night while Jake was in bed (with Annie as a “naughty nurse” and Ralph as the patient).

While Ralph’s compensation was significantly more than Annie’s, it wasn’t that surprising when she learned that he was a hemophiliac. They were now hard at work on their second clutch, so to speak.

—-

“And that’s all the time we have for today, see you all next time when Animalia covers the Chinese New Year Festival and the Animalia Valentine’s Day Celebration. Until then, See ya.” Said Roland, waving goodbye.


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