"Hello, and welcome to a special episode of Animalia Ambassadoria," said Abby, who was wearing a pair of heart-shaped sunglasses.
"We've just had a very busy week here in Animalia," said Samson, also wearing a pair of heart-shaped sunglasses, "Three big holidays in the same week. Almost no time to celebrate them all."
"I bet you're wondering why it's taken us so long to put this ep up," said Abby, "Well, the simple reason is that with so much going on, we couldn't just do only one episode this week. At least not one that could cover all of what's been happening. And it would have been too much of a hassle to release multiple episodes."
"But we haven't been slacking off," said Travis, appearing on the screen, with a lot of video film strips hanging from him, "We've been collecting clips all week and been putting them together to show you what's been happening."
"We aren't showing every clip we've got, but we are going to show you the highlights of what we've been seeing," said Abby as she lowered her sunglasses to wink at the camera.
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Sarah and Malice were seen during the Mardi Gras celebration, covered with plenty of purple, gold, and green confetti. Malice was wearing plenty of bead necklaces. "Considering tomorrow is the start of Lent, everyone is trying to get all the debauchery out of their system," said Sarah.
"Yeah, and they're having a lot of fun doing it," said Malice.
"Say, where did you get all those necklaces?" asked Sarah.
"Oh, plenty of guys gave them to me," said Malice, "All I had to do was show them my-"
Then Sarah pulled out a squirt bottle and sprayed Malice in the face, "No, bad dog. We do not flash people. Bad dog," said Sarah. It was obviously meant to be a joke here rather than actual reprimanding for any misdemeanor.
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A short scene skip showed Sarah reading from a small book. "Huh, according to this, the reason that peppers are spicy are because of a chemical called capsaicin. The plant has developed this particular chemical to deter mammals from eating the peppers. However, capsaicin has no effect on birds which are able to eat the peppers and spread the seeds far more efficiently than mammals could," read Sarah.
"So let's see that reaction in effect," said Malice.
The clip then jumped to a pair of Animalians eating some extra spicy crayfish gumbo. Jet the Raven Animalian was able to tuck into the gumbo with great gusto. Piotr the Grizzly Bear Animalian took one spoonful of his gumbo and let the flavor sink in. He nodded to himself before yelling in pain and racing towards the nearest jug of ice water and gulping it down as fast as he could.
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"This year, Ash Wednesday falls on Valentine's Day," said Sophie, "As such, the naughtier aspects of Valentine's Day are being delay until tomorrow. But that doesn't mean there isn't some true love today."
"For instance, we have a rather nice couple, Rosie and Michael," said Roland before the view shifted to the leopard pair. The two of them were holding hands and looking happy together.
"So, I've heard from a friend that you two have been able to overcome some particular difficulties," said Sophie, without being very specific.
"Well, I was worried that Michael might reject me if he knew I was African-American before I became a panther," said Rosie, "I've had...a hard history with men because of my race and I didn't want to repeat that."
"But honestly, I don't care what color Rosie's skin is, with or without fur," said Michael, "I mean, we're still the same species. Well, technically I'm an Amur Leopard and she's an Indian Leopard, but that's close enough for the Animalian Edicts."
"And you two have been doing well since Rosie has opened up," said Roland.
"More than well," said Rosie before holding up her left hand, a gold ring with an onyx stone standing out against her black fur, "Today, he just proposed to me."
"Oh, congratulations," said Sophie, "When is the wedding going to be?"
"Might not be that far off," said Michael, "We were wanting small and private."
"But we're going to the Serengeti colony for our honeymoon," said Rosie, "So that's going to depend on when it's ready to open."
"Well, mazel tov to you both," said Roland. The others gave him a raised eyebrow. "I'm not Jewish, I just like saying that," said Roland.
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"On Valentine's Day, you can see a lot of people making fools out of themselves to impress members of the opposite sex," said Jessica, who was noticeably wearing lipstick, "Though it's not exclusive to Valentine's Day. You'll see guys blowing it trying to impress female Animalians on pretty much any occasion."
"But it's not just guys who do dumb things to get attention," said Roger, who had several kiss marks on his face, "Sometimes women try to get the attention of an Animalian and end up falling short. In some pretty hilarious ways too."
***
Ralph, Thunderhoof, and a few others were working on a new building. It was apparently going to be a new dentist place for carnivores. The group had stopped for lunch before there was suddenly some hooting and hollering. Looking over at the fence, they could see a group of women making catcalls at the construction workers. "Yeah, how do you like being on the receiving end?" yelled one of the women.
"Well, frankly, I think it could use a lot more work," called Ralph, "We could barely hear you over here."
"And I think you come up with more creative things to say if you're going to be involved in this," said Thunderhood, "I mean 'damn, look at that ass'? Is that really the best you can come up with?"
"Maybe they were talking about me specifically," said a donkey Animalian.
"No, Hank, I don't think they were," said Ralph.
"If you ladies actually want a reason to be catcalling us, come see us at the Meat Market," called Thunderhoof.
"But don't get your hopes up too high," called Ralph, "Some of us are married."
***
Jeremy was spending a bit of time at the steakhouse, working on a tricky crossword puzzle while Heather was in the bathroom. Then a woman who was obvious plastered out of her good sense staggered over to him. "And there, Tall-Dark-And-Sexy," she said, "I hear you've got a bit of a woman problem."
"I do now," said Jeremy, obviously annoyed.
"Ya know, a big guy like you deserves someone who actually deserves ya, not like that...creep thing you're going out with," said the woman, "And I was thinking I could help ya out."
"You can't be serious," said Jeremy flatly.
"Really, just hook me and you'll forget all about whatshername," said the woman.
It was at that point that had Heather had returned. "Jeremy, who is this?" asked Heather, sounding annoyed.
"I have no idea," said Jeremy, "For some reason, she thinks she's better for me than you are."
"Damn right I do," said the woman, turning to face Heather, "A big boy like him shouldn't be with a criminal bitch. He oughta be with a girl who loves him for his biggest organ."
"His brain?" asked Heather.
"His di- I mean, yeah, his brain," said the woman, who was actually tottering.
Heather sighed and said, "Jeremy, may I?"
"Don't be too hard on her. She's obviously too drunk to control herself," said Jeremy.
Heather nodded before leaning down to look the woman right in the face. Then she roared loudly, allowing her would-be rival to see just how many sharp teeth was in her maw. Naturally, the woman screamed and ran for the door. Only to get her aim wrong, hit the wall next to the door, and fall over.
"What would you do if an actual rival showed up?" asked Jeremy.
"I'd tear her throat out with my teeth," said Heather. Jeremy gave an uneasy look. "Just kidding," said Heather, "I'd probably sic Tyra on them. That'd be worse."
"I can imagine so," said Jeremy.
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Regarding the Year of the Dog competition, since no filming was allowed during it, the crew in Animalia Ambassadoria gave their audience a play-by-play account of what happened, along with a few charts to show the elimination process. There were many viewers who were sympathetic that Sarah wasn't able to make into the finals. But as shown by the charts, she was just right behind Malice, only losing by a small margin. And there were plenty who were surprised that Malice didn't end up winning the Miss Zodiac crown.
"You know, it had to be one of us who had to move to the finals," said Sarah, "I'm just glad it really was one of us. And Mary Alice just wanted it more. She's more competitive than I am and has a bigger drive. I gave it all I had and I'm satisfied with where I came out."
"I had to admit, I was surprised when Beth won," said Malice, "But then, I guess only a few people were expecting her to win. But it's more about looking good in this pageant. We're Animalians, we're all hot enough on our own. It's really hard to pick out one person in terms of who's more beautiful. But strength is something we prize better and I will admit that Beth is stronger than me. And she's obviously earned that. She's more athletic than me and puts more time in at the gym. And I really am happy for her and she deserved to win. I just hope that doesn't go to her head. But at least I got a consolation prize." With that, she held up a medal that was shaped like a dog's paw that said, "Best of Breed: Working/Sledding. Mary Alice Wesley."
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"Well, that's all the time we have for this episode," said Abby, "We'll be releasing a clipshow later of other things that we wanted to show but didn't have the time for."
"I'm just glad these holidays are over," said Samson, "They were exhausting."
"Well, we won't have to worry about other holidays for a while," said Abby, "Say, Simon, when is the next holiday anyways?"
Simon studied a calendar, flipping a page before saying, "The next holiday will be St. Patrick's Day. The Spring Festival will be held between that and Easter."
"Well, we've got plenty of time to rest now," said Abby, "See you all in the wilds of Animalia."