Lacey was browsing a garage sale as she often did on a Saturday morning. Her ex, Holly, sited that as one of many of her "bad habits" that contributed to a big fight and her storming off and moving out. Speaking of big, Lacey was 6'1" and Holly was a full foot shorter than her hoarder ex. But as a tall, skinny 25 year old hoarder (a hoarder before her time), she wanted to fill up her house with more "objets d'art" to cover the many empty spaces that were Holly's cat statue collection and other little things that reminded her of her cute lesbian ex. She knew she couldn't fill her empty heart right now, but she needed to have things to keep her mind off her heartache.
On this morning, after strolling past the usual piles of pink toys, old CD's, records, DVDs and vhs tapes, and slightly broken bicycles, one thing caught Lacey's eye between a stack of plates and a broken clock radio on an old coffee-colored card table that looked like it was going to collapse any second. It was a strange little plastic canister-like object. It looked a little like a miniature version of her brother's shop vac, but with seemingly permanent 7 inch nozzles on each side. She picked it up and turned to look at it, turning it in her hands, thinking it looked oddly phallic with the two nozzles, and seeing strange two letter combinations on the controls, like AR, AP, BE, GT, SW, TG, and others.
"Hey be careful with that," snapped someone lounging in a cheap plastic lawn chair. "It's one of my late uncle's crazy toy inventions."
Turning to see a large awkward older lady in a mauve sundress, who looked a lot like Honey Boo Boo's mom before she lost weight, Lacey began thinking that such a silly thing would definitely help keep her mind off her Holly. She offered "Mama June" 5 dollars, which "June" snatched quickly and happily declared, "take it. It's yours. Just be careful with it." She looked around and chuckled, "I think it might be haunted!"
When Lacey got home, she took out all her items and lined them up on the couch. A couple of DVDs. A cool violet Dragon Statue. A Harley wallet on a chain. She picked up the odd little vacuum-like device and looked at it again. Just then, the doorbell rang, but, before she could move, her friend Sandra swung open the door without waiting.
"How are you holding up, Lace? You OK?" Then she stopped and glared at the toy. "Hey, what's that?" she questioned as she grabbed at the strange device"
Suddenly the toy, started buzzing and sucked in air from both sides.
"Weird," Lacey thought. "It should suck and blow not just suck."
After a moment, Sandra let go, with a shocked expression. "I don't know, but that actually felt good. Is it some new kind of sex toy?" She moaned and squeezed her legs together without thinking.
"I - uh - don't think so but it - it did feel - uh - good. Oh, here's the thing." She paused thinking how the process of the moving air did feel really good and tingly. "Uh - there are controls on the nozzles. In or out. Hmmm. These were both set to in. Oh, and other weird things. See?"
"Yeah, that is weird" Sandra agreed still a little flustered.
Lacey and Sandra then gazed up and looked at each other. Their eyes both widened, as they notice something different about each other. And something odd about their clothes. They seemed looser. And everything else seemed a little bigger.