The light fades and you find a brown Bombay cat sitting on top of Sam’s cloths. You realize that Sam must have been sitting on the keys and curse, “Shit!” as you reach over to check for the key under Sam’s cloths the Sam jumps out of the way and onto the coffee table knocking over an empty glass. You carefully lift Sam’s cloths hoping not to trigger the keys again and find them sitting on the couch underneath his jeans. You quickly grab the keys and sit there in a stunned silence looking at your friend who is now a cat sitting on your coffee table. Upon closer inspection you can see that the cat still seems to have Sam’s hair styled on his head.
Finally, Sam opens his mouth and instead of a meow you hear him say, “So are you going to explain what happened to me, or did I get your tongue?” Even more stunned your mouth drops and Sam says, “Ah, nope I can see that it is still in there.”
“Oh, my gosh! You can still talk”, you yell in celebration as pick Sam up and swing him around in the air.
“Hey, stop! Put me down now”, Sam hisses. You set Sam back down on the couch abounding with joy that he can still talk, because that means he still might be able to help you. “I figure you are now going to tell me that, that story you fed me was not a story but an accurate depiction of your day?” asks Sam.
“Uh… yes I’m sorry for brining you into this but I think you are the only one that can help me”, you tell Sam.
“I am going to tell you what I told you before, and that is that this seems to be magic”, Sam says again.
“Yes, I know”, you start to say when Sam interrupts you.
“Although since this is no longer a story and is very much real that means that it must be grounded in some sort of science. Everything can be explained by science including these magic keys. Now I want to know why you first thought that these keys had to be grounded in science.”
“Oh well you see at first I thought that all of the changes that they were making were random, but then I started to notice that a lot of the changes had something to do with dogs. First Keith turned into a dog then Keith turned into dog shit, then the cop turned into a bitch, then Keith turned back into a dog, then to officer turned into a male dog, the officer’s car turned into dog treats, and my land lord turned into a chew toy.”
“Yes, it seems like most of these transformations are dog related what were some of the other transformations?”
“Let’s see first was my car which I change into a different car a few times, next I made Keith’s cloths disappear, then I turned my neighbors into cloths, and of course you became a talking cat.”
“I see”, Sam says as he begins to lick his balls. You watch a little disturbed and then cough snapping Sam back to reality. “Sorry about that. I think the next step is for you to tell me what you were trying to do each time you used the keys.”
You think back to earlier in the day and begin to explain, “Well initially I was just trying to unlock my car, when it morphed into a new car. Then I was trying to prove to Keith that I had the power to transform my car each time I changed it. Then when I made Keith’s cloths disappear I was trying to upgrade his wardrobe. When I turned Keith into a German shepherd I was trying to give him some cloths. After that I was trying to turn him back to normal when I was startled by the police officer and he turned into shit. When I changed the officer, I was trying to change Keith back to normal when the officer got in the way. When Keith turned back into a dog I was trying to make him normal again and the same goes for when the officer became a male again. As far as the Bells and Mr. Huff goes I was just trying to get myself out of a couple sticky situations.”
“So, from my understanding the keys started out making the changes that you wanted them to make and the more you used them the more the changes differed from what you wanted to happen”, Sam summarized.
“Yeah, I guess. I’m not even sure if I can use them to fix this because with every use they are less of a sure bet. I am so sorry this happened to you Sam”, you apologized as you start to pet Sam and he begins purring.
“Oh, you have no need to worry about me. I am enjoying this and would not mind if I was stuck like this. It has always been a dream of mine to live as a cat”, Sam purrs as you scratch under his chin.
“Well I’m glad at least someone if happy with what has happened”, you say trying to reassure yourself as Sam climbs onto your lap props himself up on your chest to lick your cheek. Suddenly Sam pulls back with a smile on his face.