"Well, enough time wasting," you bark. "There's a lot of work to do tonight." Dirk perks up, he knows that can only mean one thing. "You don't mean..." You jut your bristly little chin out with satisfaction. "I procured the legendary--" You pause for effect, struggling under the table with a plastic bag. Your large stomach is restricting your movement, and with a huff you use an ornamental samurai katana on the wall behind you to drag the item closer. "Ahem... the legendary My Tiny Horse: RPG, 2.0 Beta Rulebook! Complete with the new Nether Stable quest." You slap the colorful volume onto the table and gesture to it grandly. Leave it to a cyber-hacker like yourself to find a vulnerability in the Amazon ordering system -- you emailed customer service, cooking up some story about missing the book release to visit your sick grandpa in the hospital. Jessica, the dumb bimbo rep, sent you a copy the next day! Maybe you'll e-mail her to try for a pity date later. As a student of human psychology (learned from observation, not some mere book or class), you know that females respond positively to emotional appeals.
"This is so epic!," Dirk exclaims gleefully, his voice cracking a little. Ah, the pleasures of the simpleminded. Your advanced intellect is already calculating superior builds within the game for maximum player efficiency. "It is very epic," you agree, "but there is one thing. Our old characters are incompatible with the new build due to some erratas and an additional stat value. We will have to create new characters for this game." Dirk looks down at his sheet for Dirk ShimmerWing, with dissapointment. "But I was just about to hit level 5." You scoff, grabbing a handful of Doritos and crunching on them loudly. You dismiss your unenlightened friend's protest with your mouth full of cheesy pulp. "The benefits of this new expansion outweigh your nostalgia for your underpowered Pegasus. Our feedback could even alter the final rulebook for version 2.0!"
Dirk is convinced. The two of you spend some time looking at the class and race options. A simple choice for you - clearly the new Horsamurai class is befitting of an honorable gentleman such as yourself, and you have always been attracted to the breathtakingly beautiful Unicorn race. Dirk chooses the same stealthy Silentclop class as his previous build. At least you are able to help your tasteless companion to select a noble Unicorn rather than an oafish Pegasus. "Okay, so how are we going to roll our characters?" You sigh and gesture towards his dice. "Those will do fine," you command. "Of course, we have two options. We can roll for all of our stat values individually, or we can roll all the dice and then assign stat points as we see fit. You can decide, either way it will be an amusing challenge for a player as advanced as me."
Dirk considers the options and says...