"Bill, before we start, I'd like to introduce you to the victim in this crime. Rolf Edwards, and a couple of his farm hands," says the director.
"A pleasure to meet you Mr. Cawsbeeee," says Rolf in a midwestern accent. He extends his huge paw to the average size Cosby who looks up into the nostrils of the nearly 7 foot giant. Rolf is wearing heavy duty boots today with 3 inch soles.
"You're really fortunate that the police caught these criminals. I'm told you chose the forms for their punishment. How did you decide on a boar, a retriever and a donkey."
"Not donkey, mule. And basically I know Brandon, Kule and Trevor. They used to work on my farm, before I hired Ed, Edd, and Eddy." Rolf points his thumb over his shoulder at three ne'er do wells who are huddled behind him next to the door.
"Mule, donkey. What's the difference?"
"Offspring. Mules don't have any. Hate to have that lazy oafs offspring tainting animals on my farm. But a mule is strong, whip him and he'll pull his weight. The boar is fat and meaty, which is just what I want his children to be. They make the best sausage. And people come for miles around to buy Rolf's home-made sausage."
Cosby looks nauseous and swallows his breakfast again.
"The dog. Well, look at the Ed boys. They never get dates and I know they'll make good use of the retriever. You know it'll be a bitch, don't you?"
"And how does PETA feel about what you have planned?"
"Actually, it's on their recommended uses for transformed humans." Rolf reaches into his back pocket and reveals the People for Ethical Treatment of Animals suggestions for the animalistic use of transformed criminals.
"Excuse me, Sherriff, I thought there were laws against..."|
"There are for true animals. But transformed ones are oin a different category. Can't say why anyone would be fool enough to pick the transformation option. Heck, they've never been able to turn anyone back yet either. Five year minimum sentence, try life sentence."
"Ew! Look Eddy, he's growing a snout!" shouts Edd as he points at Brandon, Kyle and Trevor through the one way glass.