The redheaded highschooler wanted something simple, something that might get on this coocoo crazy faker's good side: an ugly Christmas sweater. Unfortunately, it was summertime, and those were in short supply, so short in fact that there wasn't a single one anywhere in the mall.
Did that stop ol' Colin?
No.
He simply said:
"If I can't find an ugly Christmas sweater, I'll make one instead."
When he tried to... he ended up with two wasted hours and an awful looking mess of yarn.
"Dammit, this isn't working!" Colin said to himself in frustration.
His gaze shifted nervously to the snowman on display in the hallway... wearing one... ugly... sweater...
"Eh, fuck it." Colin said.
He smashed the snowman with a hammer and ran off to the wrapping station with sweater...
"Wait a minute..." Colin paused.
Faker Claus would probably recognize this considering that he had the decorations put up. And as soon as he did, Colin's ass would be grass, and those "elf" bimbos the lawnmower.
So he made some... adjustments...
***********************************
Lori unwrapped the package and smiled as she slipped the sweater on. It was blue, with green and purple ornaments, and just her size to boot.
"I love it! See Santa? Now I'm showing my Christmas spirit!" Lori forcibly grinned.
Santa squinted.
"You know, one of the snowmen carolers wears a sweater similar to this one, except it's larger... it's white with gold and red ornaments." he said with a squint.
Colin gulped and sweated nervously. "Yeah, t-that is funny..."
"It's also funny how when one of my elves went to check on that snowman, she found this." Santa said as he yanked a tarp off the destroyed snowman prop.
"Would anyone like to come forward?" Santa asked with a serious scowl.
Everyone chattered amongst themselves as Colin sweated bullets.
"*cough, cough* Zane *cough, cough*" Colin uttered nervously.
Santa's glare intensified.
"I know who's responsible for this." He bellowed, "IT WAS YOU!...."