“Hello? Natasha?” he called again, confusion evident in his words.
I couldn’t find my voice as I mouthed the words that stayed stuck in my gullet.
“If this is some kind of joke, it isn’t funny. I don’t have the time for this kind of shit, Nat’.” He was pissed now and I could hear he was about to hang up.
“Tom no wait, please!” I cried out, suddenly finding my vocal cords again.
Silence answered me and I knew he was listening. The panic he heard in my tone was obvious enough.
“Don’t go… I need you” I whispered.
“Nat’, what’s going on?” he asked, all previous aggression now long gone. He was positively worried.
“I… I made a mistake and I need your help. Can you come at my place?” I wasn’t able to tell him on the phone. He’d never believe me anyways.
“I can’t, Nat’, I’m not around, I’m on a business trip overseas, remember?” his voice was so quiet and soft as he said that. I closed my eyes, my head drooping downwards.
“I need you Tom. I just need you. Please come, please...” I could feel all the tension that had built in me, the pain, the fear and the suffering that I had felt between the pelican and the long trips from the garden to the tub and back, all of it just bleed out. It was like draining pus from a wound I hadn’t been aware was there. I simply started sobbing softly, all of the previous emotions gushing out of me. The floodgates had been opened and I couldn’t stop anymore as I curled into a ball, uncaring about the phone and Tom on the other side. I had forgot about him actually. I had folded my tail over and pressed it against my chest, tears pouring from my eyes. Frustrations and anxiety leaked from me with all of my remaining strength as well as my wakefulness as I drifted into a fitful sleep.