I awoke with a jolt, feeling parched beyond parched, my whole body burning up in my covers. I coughed and flailed around trying to hit the light switch but to no avail. It was like I had gone five days without water and had dried in an oven for a few hours. My lips were cracked and my eyes felt like sandpaper. I couldn’t quite remember what had happened earlier on and decided on getting a drink in the bathroom as well as taking a shower. I swung my legs over the edge of the bed and let out a small cry as I slid down with them, hitting my head on the floor in the process. Holding my head in my hands, memories started flowing back in as I felt around at my bottom half. My thumb hit scales, confirming that the odd dream I had been having wasn’t quite just a dream.
The phone. The call. I cracked an eye open and looked over to the pillow where the device rested. I grabbed it, nearly letting it slip and looked it over. I had slept for over four hours; it was well into the evening now. I brought up the call history and was speechless when I noticed that it had lasted more than an hour. My brother had listened to me crying for more than an hour before finally hanging up. I wasn’t sure how I felt about it. A retching cough interrupted my thought process, reminding me that I should hit the bathtub.
Rolling, pushing and pulling my way along, I finally managed to clamber back in the tub and felt instant relief. I had dropped the phone on the ground beside me and, after splashing myself for a bit, pulled it up. Obviously, it was able to handle water or else it wouldn’t be working. My stomach was now screaming for sustenance and I sighed. I didn’t see myself whipping up a meal in my state. And the state of the kitchen, whispered the little voice in the back of my head. I grunted and decided on ordering pizza. The little voice called out again : how in the world will you go and -
“Shut it” I growled, ignoring it.
I dialed a number I knew by heart and brought the phone to my finned ear. A bored man slurred an answer:
“Welcome to Pizza-Here, what can I order you?”
I quickly asked for my favored pizza and he assured me that the delivery would be made under thirty minutes. I hung up and lay there, in my bath, already feeling the cheesy savor explode on my taste buds. You know, said the little voice, that that delivery man is about to be faced with a mermaid trying to pay him, right? I stopped my thoughts in its tracks, all the imagined cheesy glory having disappeared from my mouth as my actions sunk in.
I guess I should have learned to think a few moments before acting with the whole fish-and-mermaid-transformation thing. Obviously I hadn’t.
Shit.