"I wish I didn’t have ENOUGH BRAINS to worry about TAKING classes."
Your wish is my command, Jack. I snapped my fingers and he froze mid-motion, forgetting what he was about to say. His jaw hung open, staring off into space.
Ken waved his hand in front of his roommate's face, twirling his mustache slightly (a nervous tic that must have come with his newfound maturity - hey, I don't know. I don't control EVERYTHING that results from a big change like that). "Earth to Jack! Anybody in there?"
Jack, practically drooling, gave Ken a vacant look and let out a deep guffaw. "Yeah man, wassup?"
Ken wrinkled his nose a bit, noticing something he hadn't before (mainly because it hadn't existed before, but let's not split hairs). "Jack, you reek. Isn't your next class across campus in twenty minutes? You should probably shower beforehand."
Jack grinned knowingly. "Naw man, fuck that shit. The dean's too much of a pussy to kick me out even if I never go to another class. My dad practically pays his fuckin' salary. I'm just here because Pop thinks a degree from this shithole would look good on my resume. As far as I'm concerned, Algernon 101 can get fucked. "
Ken sighed. "You mean Algebra? You'd think having a tutor as a roommate would at least inspire you to read your class schedule once in a while."
"Fuck that bro, I wish you'd stop being so judgy and treat me like the king that I am."
Ooh, two wishes in the span of a couple minutes! Don't mind if I do! "I wish you'd stop being so judgy and treat me like the HAIRY, BOARISH FRAT king that I am."
With another snap, Jack's outsides began to match his pea-brained insides. The sleeves on his T-shirt curled away into smoke, revealing his broad, muscular arms, now bulging out of a tight yellow stringer tank that curved across his prodigious pectorals. Slowly, dot by dot, a tattoo started inking itself onto his toned bicep. The Greek symbol "delta" faded into being as his pants slithered up his legs, becoming a pair of loose khaki shorts, barely clinging to his hips via a brown braided belt. A backwards hat settled onto his head, sending his blonde locks spraying across his forehead in a careless, just-rolled-out-of-bed style, as a chain necklace slithered around his neck.
As the second symbol ("theta") slowly emerged from his skin, he grabbed a beer from a cooler that had appeared next to his computer chair, pounding his chest and whooping like a Neanderthal before crushing it against his forehead. Foam dribbled down his face, where his light blonde stubble crawled out further, forming a scraggly mustache and spreading around his mouth into an unkempt goatee.
The hair didn't stop there, either. His chest prickled with hundreds of tiny hairs, wriggling from their follicles to swirl in a delicate spiraling pattern around his pert nipples, then thinning into a treasure trail that traveled his cobblestone abs into the waistband of his pants. He lifted up the bottom of his tank top to watch their progress and giggle in a low, dull voice. The crotch of his pants seemed to be stuffed even fuller as a huge blonde bush grew around his cock, before the blonde hairs spread further down his legs, eventually dusting the tops of his feet and toes with light, almost invisible hairs. Hair erupted from the back of his palms too, spreading up his arms in a glistening golden spray as the last Greek letter ("Pi") appeared next to the others.
Jack raised his arms into the air (revealing a prodigious amount of blonde armpit hair that wasn't there before) and hollered, "K-dog, are you gonna come to this kegler tonight or WHAT?"
Ken sighed, shaking his head and clearly lamenting the roommate the school system had stuck him with (what a reversal!). "I can't tonight, Jack... You know I have a meeting with the grad board about my thesis at the end of the week, so I need to be fully prepared."
"Fuck this shit, K-Dawg!" Jack yelled, jumping into a chest bump that Ken was completely unprepared for, sending him careening backwards onto his mattress. "You know what? I wish..."