Wearing the more absorbent brand-name diapers made a big difference at school. Lee felt, for the first time in months, safe - insulated from the dangers of public humiliation.
Not only that, but having direct access to his diaper store meant he could take two or three spares. He didn't want to run down his stock but if he needed them, he wanted to have them in his bag, and the extra reassurance that if he used his spare he wasn't stuck in case of a second accident meant he was able, by and large, to hold it at times when otherwise the anxiety would have pushed him over the edge and soaked through the cheap, store-brand diapers. This meant he was currently able to keep himself to only a couple of changes a week.
Even so, he felt a familiar sting of apprehension when double Math rolled around again. Mr Pauls was there, lips in a tight slash as he surveyed the students filing in. For the first half hour Lee was able to concentrate to some extent on the absurd algebra ('solve for the following inequality for y', as if that was anything he was going to use in everyday life).
Charlie Singer, a chubby blonde boy with an angelic face who had, together with Lee, been one of the hold-outs last year not to move onto training pants, put his hand up. Mr Pauls had his head down, doing marking for another class, but Lee spotted it out of the corner of his eye.
Charlie's almost girl-pretty face was flushed with apprehension, clearly remembering Lee's humiliation the previous week. He waved his hand a little, half-heartedly. Should Lee help him to get Mr Pauls' attention? He didn't know if that would be kind or not. They briefly made eye contact and Charlie looked away quickly.
Lee made up his mind. He raised his voice - "Mr P-" - as soon as it was out of his mouth, Charlie put his hand down, biting his lip.
Mr Pauls looked up. "What is it Cross? Not more excuses to get out of your work, I hope?"
Fuck Pauls, Lee thought savagely. Fuck him and his stupid 'grown-up' world.
"No sir, I just wanted to ask-" he scanned quickly down the paper "what a co-efficient is. I forgot."
"It's in your textbook, Cross. The co-efficient is the number by which the variable is multiplied. If you're struggling so much with basic concepts perhaps I should ask for you to be sent back to kindergarten?"
A bit of laughter at this, but also, interestingly, a girl's voice saying - not shouted, but firmly - "Not cool." It didn't sound like Carmen but Lee didn't want to draw attention to it by turning his head.
Mr Pauls raised an inquisitor's eyebrow but didn't seem to have caught who said it. "Please get on with your work."
When Mr Pauls turned his eyes back to his marking, Lee looked back over at Charlie. Charlie no longer seemed to be in a desperate situation - he had returned to a normal color and appeared to be working on his paper.
---
As the students filed out of Mr Pauls' classroom at the end of the double period, Lee dropped into line alongside Charlie.
"Hey," Lee said, "Sorry bout that. I thought you needed to use the restroom."
Charlie blushed slightly. "I, er, did. But then I remembered I was-" he lowered his voice "-in Superzorb. So you don't really need to go. And Mr Pauls is a dick, I didn't want to deal with him. Sorry for making him make fun of you again."
"You just went right there in the classroom?" Lee asked. Charlie nodded. "You gonna change before PE?"
"Nah," Charlie said. "Superzorb you can wet three or four times before it even starts to feel damp."
As they walked to the next class Lee's head was full of math of a different kind. Three or four times. If he could get a packet of Superzorb it would last him almost twice as long as the Huggies. And he knew for a fact they weren't twice as expensive. The Huggies, which had seemed so luxuriant, suddenly seemed thin and disappointing. Solve the inequality.
He needed a plan.