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Mad Science

Thanks for Bigger Families

added by Alphagor 3 years ago O

There were many things that Animalians were thankful for this year. Some were thankful for having a second chance at life. Others were thankful that they were living in an understanding America. And there were some Animalians who were thankful for the expansions to their families.

For instance, the Camberton family were happy that Anne and Oscar had finally gotten married, but they were even happier that Janice had given birth to a pair of healthy twin girls. "We seem to live in a female-dominate family, don't we Maman?" asked Janice as she tickled her daughters. She already fed them before they went to the Thanksgiving feast. Who knew that skunks could produce so much milk?

"We've not had luck with good 'usbands and sons, is true," said Anne, "But fortunately the 'usbands 'ere in America are much more caring."

"Even though some of us were born skunks?" asked Walter teasingly.

"You 'ave no one to compete with," said Janice playfully.

"Well, I hope I measure better than your real father," said Oscar.

"Hmm... We will see zat when you give me some new 'alf-brozers and 'alf-sisters," said Janice.

Oscar took a big gulp and said, "Isn't it a little early to be thinking about that?"

"Not at all, ma fleur malodorante," said Anne coyly, "I cannot wait for ze next mating season in spring."

"That reminds me, where is Fleur?" asked Janice.

"Being fashionably late, I assume," said Anne.

Janice sighed and said, "Would you look after ze little ones? I'm going to talk with Milly."

"Not a problem," said Anne, "Ze really love zer grandmama."

Janice got up and walked over to where Milly and her family were seated. Unlike Janice, Milly and Myrtle had not yet given birth, but they were due for next week. And they certainly looked more than due. Myrtle looked like she ready to give birth to quadruplets. Milly looked the same way, though considering her giant of a husband, she might be getting ready to give birth to two extra-large mice. Or possibly one extra-large mouse and two regular-sized mice. "'Ow are you all today?" asked Janice.

"Feeling pretty bloated," said Myrtle, "And I thought having Mildred was taxing. I'll be glad to have them out."

"Yeah, and then we better get started on the post-pregnancy weight-loss if we're going to get back in shape in time," said Milly.

"In time for what?" asked Janice.

"The Miss Zodiac competition, of course," said Milly.

"But I thought zat it would be ze Year of ze Rat," said Janice.

"Are you saying that mice aren't good enough to compete?" snapped Milly, "You think you can do better?"

Lenny patted Milly's hand and said, "Don't mind the outbursts. The mood swings have been hitting hard."

"It doesn't seem fair that mice can't compete with mice," said Milly, starting to sniffle.

Myrtle sighed and said, "Mice are allowed to compete with rats. Though the odds are in favor of rats in terms of sheer numbers."

"Yes, ze Pipers would make up ze bulk, I should think," said Janice.

"Oh, Janice, we're 'ere!" called a voice that ruffled Janice's fur. Yes, she was glad that Fleur had finally stopped hitting on her. Though she found other ways of getting under Janice's skin.

Janice turned and said, "It is good to see you and your new boyfriend." Janice wasn't completely surprised that Fleur had hooked up with Steven. Fleur had already been drawn towards the eccentric and flamboyant and they didn't come much eccentric than Steven. And Fleur being attracted to a 'bad boy' made perfect sense to her, even if Steven didn't do anything worse than ride his loud motorcycle around.

"Ah, Janice, we 'ave much to be thankful for zis year," said Fleur, walking over to Janice, "You 'ave your cute little daughters. I 'ave my big strong foxy-woxy."

Janice resisted the urge to roll her eyes and said, "And I suppose you will 'ave your own kits in due time."

"Oh, there's no need to rush it," said Steven, "Wouldn't want my old family think I'm replacing them too soon." Then he saw Lenny and asked, "Is that a giant mouse or an extra-large rat?"

"Giant mouse, thank you very much," said Lenny with dignity.

"Didn't think mice got that big," said Steven. Not that he was intimidated. He and Steven were about the same size, including the heavyweight muscles.

"I had gigantism before I was converted," said Lenny.

"Ah, that makes sense. You're a strong guy, aren't you? Wanna arm wrestle?" asked Steven.

"Steven," admonished Janice.

"Oh, let ze boys have their fun," said Fleur, "It's not like it's going to be like zer rivalry in ze bodybuilder competitions."

"Only if ze don't break ze table," muttered Janice.

==========

There was another family gathering at the Thanksgiving Feast that was rather unusual. Nate Bowman and his family would have normally had Thanksgiving at their farm, but Nate really wanted to include Shuixing in their family meal. It conflicted with Shuixing's schedule for her to travel all the way to Wisconsin and it would have been out of the question for the Bowman family to got to Heiya Island. So they decided to meet in the middle at Lyre.

It wasn't just Nate, his father, and his aunt Meryl who traveled to Lyre. The uplifted cows who had returned to the dairy farm to be hired farmhands as well continue producing milk to sell came with them. Nevada wasn't as much home for them as Wisconsin, but it was nice to visit.

It took a bit longer for them to meet up with Shuixing than they expected. Shuixing was unusually late with getting to the City Hall where the feast was being held. "I'm so sorry I'm late," she huffed as she ran up to them. Turning to Meryl, she shouted louder, "I'M SO SORRY I'M LATE!"

"I heard you the first time!" snapped Meryl, "No need to blow my ears out."

Shuixing blinked in surprise. Meryl was usually as deaf as a fence post. She turned to the others and asked, "Uh, did I miss something?"

"We convinced Meryl to wear hearing aids for this visit," said Nate's father, Ulysses.

"How on Earth did you manage to do that?" asked Shuixing. Meryl was also known for being as hard of head as she was hard of hearing.

"Well...I sorta threatened to glue them in if she didn't wear them by choice," said Strawberry, one of the uplifted cows, with a little embarrassment.

"Maybe you should do that more often," said Shuixing.

"I heard that!" snapped Meryl.

"So, uh, Shuixing, what kept you? Too much traffic at the airport?" asked Nate.

"Well, no. I had to meet with someone before I came here," said Shuixing.

"Who?" asked Nate.

"Well...someone I wanted your aunt to meet," said Shuixing.

Then they heard the clopping of rather big hooves. Looking over, they saw a particularly large pair of equine Animalians walking towards them. Given their height and how much muscle they had, it was easy to think they were draft horses. But their ears were far too long and their heads had the wrong shape for horses. "Are those donkeys?" asked Ulysses.

"Actually, they're mules," said Shuixing, "Uh, Meryl, this is Olly and his sister Nelly. I, uh, kinda ran your profile through the Animalian dating site and it appears you're a match."

Olly looked down at Meryl and said, "This is the one that's a match for me? She looks like I could break her in half with one poke."

"You want to set me up with this pinhead?" asked Meryl, "I know his type: all muscles, no brain."

"Says the one that needs to have something shoved in her ears to be able hear a whisper," said Olly.

"With those big ears, you can probably hear the cows gossiping in the next county," said Meryl.

"Somebody's cranky because she's left her skin out on the clothesline too long," said Olly.

"Oh, I must have entered a wit-free zone," said Meryl.

Shuixing groaned and said, "What a disaster..."

"What a woman!" said Olly excitedly.

Everyone stared at Olly in confusion. "Um, bro, did you hit your head this morning?" asked Nelly.

"If anything hit it, it must have been Cupid's mallet," said Olly.

"Cupid uses arrows, you dolt," said Meryl.

Olly wickered with excitement and said, "You see? I never heard a woman as sharp and witty as she is. She might be a little on the puny side, but nothing a little mule magic can't fix."

"Have you gone loco?" asked Nelly, "You just met this woman, exchange a few barbs, and suddenly you think she's the love of your life?"

"Er, I think you're being a bit hasty," said Ulysses, "I mean, Meryl might even want to be a mule."

"Who says I don't?" asked Meryl.

"Uh, excuse me?" asked Blueberry.

"Oh sure, he's a big lout and probably super-clumsy. But he's not as dumb as he looks. And he actually thinks I'm witty," said Meryl, her weather-lined face blushing.

"Uh, Meryl? Are you feeling alright?" asked Ulysses.

"I'm better than alright. I'm in love!" said Meryl before hugging Olly around the waist, "Where have you been all my life?"

"Uh, on a mule farm, duh," said Olly, "Don't you get any schooling on a dairy farm?"

"Well, there's no one around to talk to but cows. And boy are they boring," said Meryl.

"Tell me about it. Might as well be talking to a tree stump."

"When can we get hitched?"

"When can you convert?"

The others were all just staring. A fly could flown into any of their gaping mouths and they probably wouldn't have noticed. Of all the possible outcomes, this was something that no one at all expected.

Olly and Meryl continued like this throughout the whole dinner. The two holding each other's gazes and saying sweet nothings to each other. Though most of those 'sweet nothings' were sarcastic barbs. Nelly kept giving her brother looks like he's lost his mind. Ulysses was also giving side glances at his sister, wondering what had gotten into her.

"Well, I've heard of love at first sight, but never love at first slight," said Nate.

"I have to be honest. I thought this would be a joke," said Shuixing.

"What do you mean?" asked Nate.

"Well, I put in your aunt's profile mostly to see if it could possibly match her up with anyone else. I didn't take her pairing with Olly seriously. My sisters pushed me into introducing Olly to Meryl." Shuixing sighed and said, "I guess I lost that bet."

"Well...they seem happy. If that's what happy looks like for them," said Nate.

"And I notice someone isn't looking disappointed," said Shuixing meaningfully. She nodded towards Blueberry, who was looking at Ulysses a lot more fondly even if he wasn't noticing.

"You mean...her and Dad?" asked Nate.

"Well, if your aunt can fall in love with a mule, I think it would make her chances with your dad pretty good," said Shuixing.

"And if Dad and Blueberry end up together, he won't have to worry about passing on the farm..." said Nate thoughtfully.

"I think this could work out for everyone," said Shuixing.

Nate reached out a hand and put it over Shuixing's. "Yeah, everyone," agreed Nate.


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