The crowd exploded with confusion and anger, but everyone calmed down when the dean cleared her throat. For some strange reason, they all seemed a lot more obedient.
"You will all be allowed to complete your standard college education, but the magical girl ETR will delay graduation for most... thankfully, you'll have a few centuries to pay off those loans.
"Please check your inboxes, you will find your new schedules. Sorry if they seem heavy - it's best to get the pre-req's out of the way first."
Josh looked at his schedule. On Mondays, he now had "Maho Shojou Orientation 101" at 8 AM, "MS History 101" at 10, "Holistic Magic 101" at 12:30, and Advanced Networks at 4. He didn't recognize the professors for those first three classes, undoubtedly having been brought in from outside.
"Good luck to every one of you! Remember to get a good night's sleep tonight, you'll need it."
---
Chris was in shock. Five minutes ago, he was sitting in some assembly with his best friend Henry, and now he was carrying her back to her dorm. Henry, or "Rosa-chan" as she now called herself, looked to be about seven years old, and spoke with a lisp. Her eyes were blank and lifeless - if Henry was in there, he wasn't coming out any time soon.
Chris tucked Rosarie into bed, hoping that he wouldn't turn out like her. Poor thing.
---
"Please take your seats everyone, orientation lectures will start momentarily." People shuffled in to the lecture hall, most half asleep. "I'm Penumbra, and I'll be teaching you today."
It was a large lecture hall, so nobody would be at fault for not noticing that Penumbra was a small black cat. Not that anyone would be too surprised after yesterday.
"Now, you all are destined to become magically powered prepubescent females - in the business, we call them 'Mahō Shōjo', but English speakers tend to opt for 'magical girls' or just 'superheroes'.
"Magical girls are deployed in times of crisis, confusion, and despair, and our research shows that this timel- planet. Planet Planet Planet. This planet has nothing but crisis, confusion and despair.
"Through the next few years, you will undergo training think positively more positively, and to use your innate magical abilities. But, to properly become magical girls, you'll have to become girls."
In an instant, a pill bottle appeared on every desk. Each was covered in unreadable legalese, but the words "Androjuv" were in large print.
"By taking one pill every morning, you will slowly, physically transition into a girl, aged around ten years old. Be warned - you have to take [i]one[/i] pill [i]every[/i] morning; missing doses will stunt your growth, and overdosing may cause over-juvenation.
"Now, I want everyone here to take one pill, dry. Right meow."
Hundreds of students twisted off the child-proof caps, and swallowed the pills. The texture was chalky; the taste was strong, and of strawberries.
"Remember. Every day. Side effects include stomach cramps, sweating, diarrhea..." They trailed off.
Josh was shocked that the students had taken a strange, body chemical-altering pill on the command of a cat. He was even more shocked that [i]he[/i] had done it.
"Now, before class is over -" she pointed her paw to a wall clock, "you need to choose a new, female name. You'll have until Friday to submit this info to the student council." The class groaned. "Think hard about this choice - your name is your identity, and it'll follow you for the rest of your long life.
"Thank you for your participation, and remember: we're making you better."