Duh, now you remember the whole point was to become a famous author. You wanted to be a toddler because it would make him more renown than being a normal author.
"The author boy sits on the potty holding his mommy's phone."
It wasn't the best edit but hopefully it would work. Your mommy was now holding a couple sheets of construction paper.
"This story you wrote for me is so good little author. I'm so proud of you!"
That wasn't right you want to be a real author not a toddler scribbling on paper for mommy. You need to try again.
"Mommy's favorite author sits on the potty."
Now this can work.
"America's favourite author sits on the potty."
You look up from the phone and realize you aren't in your bathroom anymore. Instead you are sitting on the potty on the stage of what appears to be a TV show. The host is saying something to your mother.
"Wow so he really wrote a best selling novel before finishing potty training?"
"Oh yes, we have to have him do most of his writing sitting on the potty or he'll get so wrapped up he'll have a-c-c-i-d-e-n-t-s."
"Moooommy I know how to spell."
Your cheeks go red as the audience laughs at the exchange. This isn't quite what you had in mind but at least you got the famous author part right.