The travel made us hungrier than I could imagine. This body is big and I assumed that it needs a bigger fair share of the meal. As we were going downstairs, we could already smell the various waft of delicious scent in the air. It made my stomach grumble so hard that Carim even noticed it. But just before we could approach the dinner hall, Carim pulled me aside and said,
“Don’t eat any of the food. There something wrong here.”
We entered the dining hall and what fell before us is a feast for the ages. There was various roasted meat ranging from pheasants to the fattest ox. A cheese wheel with its innards melted into a thick paste. There were also pastries and colorful candies adorning the sides. And not to mention, a keg of beer under the table, a box of pizzas in the end and an ending of buckets of fried chicken near the hearth. Okay. There’s definitely something wrong here. I could forgive pizzas but fried chicken? I know that General Pollock’s Iowa Fried Chicken doesn’t exist in this world. I’m tempted to bite in this illusion but I’m afraid what it will do to me.
“Carim, what do you see.” From his face alone, I know that he realized that this is an illusion. Carim gulped and looked at me.
“I- umm… I’d rather not say.” He whispered. “Let’s sit and eat,” He opened his satchel revealing a jar of salted jerky that we’ve been eating for days. I’m tired of the taste and it’s so rubbery. But this is all the provision Smithee gave us and I’d eat it rather than fall to a stupid illusion trap.
“Fellas!” A voice boomed behind us. It was the innkeeper and he looks way too giddy for a senile old man. He’s approaching us with wide swerves from his feet and his arms dangling from his shoulders. It’s like a robot wearing human flesh. Uncanny and weird. “My wife and I cooked these just for you. I know you like them.”
“We apologize old man but we already have our own.” Carim showed the beef jerky and the innkeeper recoiled in disgust. The beef jerky isn’t that bad. Yes, I’m tired of the taste but Smithee gave his all when he made them.
“Beef Jerky!? Why eat that when there roast and cheese and candies and whatever that is,” The innkeeper pointed at the pizza. “They’re all family recipes yeah?”
Why is he asking us? This monster is really ignorant of all the red flags it's giving. Dumb monster and his dumb fucking traps. I grabbed one of the Jerky from Carim and munched it in front of the Innkeeper to shove it as this dumb old face. The beast retched in disgust and fled away from me.
As we were eating our dinner, the innkeeper is just looking at us without moving an inch. His dead eyes are piercing are soul and giving us waves after waves of dread. I tried to call him off but no reply came out of him. Just a smile and a neck-breaking tilt of his head. That’s it. Weird man and weird inn. I grabbed the dagger from my belt and pointed it at the man.
“I’m tired of this shit.” Carim and the innkeeper looked at me with wide eyes.
“Jon, there’s no need to get angry.”
“But he’s weirding me out! Look at him.” But he wasn’t there anymore. “Where is he?”
“I don’t know.”
Suddenly, an infernal voice boomed around the house and sending shivers down our spine.
“Hohohoho… You’re smart for finding me out.” The monster said. “What gave it away? The food? The trap in the bathroom?”
Wait? There’s a trap in the bathroom. Good thing I just peed with this body before seeing the inn. And boy was my dick huge. But enough about that. The house around us contorted but the woods never cracked and splintered. It was as if the inn is dunked in a thick goo that’s being mixed around by a giant spoon. Weird analogy but that’s the closest way I could describe the scene before us. Carim and I stood back to back and readied our blades.
“What is it do you want a monster?” Carim boomed. “Our bodies? Souls? Speak and tell us who you are.”
“My name J’zardo, known by your kind as an Illusioner, a puppeteer, a marionette. I do not want your bodies and what would I even do with your souls? I’m no daft demon. All I want is him.” A beam from the ceiling formed fingers and pointed it at me. “I want him. I want him. I want him. He has powers that could unghhhh…” Oh fuck, that sounds disgusting. It’s like he cummed mid-speech.
“Sorry monster but he’s never falling into your hands.”
“Oh? Sorry? But he just did.” The floor I’m standing on vibrated and swirled until it formed a green hand. It tried to grab me but Carim was far quicker. With just one slash, the hand splintered into a thousand burning pieces. The fire spread and burned the walls and the table.
“AH!” The monster screamed. “Filthy humans! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!”
More hands appeared and tried to grab our limbs. I clutched onto my steel dagger and slashed anything the dared come closer. Carim swung his sword and activated a wave of fire that burned any combustibles in the vicinity. The food in the table retched and coiled and showed their true colors, a table of dead insects and burning dirt. The smell is horrendous. The beef jerky I ate climbed my esophagus and I vomited all over the floor.
“Filthy human!” The beast said once more. “How dare you soil my creations!? Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!”
We fled the dinner hall and into the lounge. Burning steel plunged into the door of the inn and burned everything in its vicinity. Outside, a floating figure no taller than me is floating in the air. Viscous tar squirms in its skin and its pale yellow eyes stare at us from the height. Tentacles of tar came out of its back and shot it at us. I tried to evade but Gren’s body is far too heavy and his feet are not as nimble as I’m used to. The tentacle latched around my heel and lifted me from the ground. Another tentacle is tight around my arms while another is coiled around Carim’s broadsword.
“Finally! I have you.” The beast said at me.
“No, you don’t.”
I unpossessed Gren’s body and grabbed one dagger from his hips. I dashed to Carim and sliced the tentacle holding his sword. With him freed, strange magical energies wrapped around Carim, making the air around him burn. He clutched his sword tight and all heat dissipated and accrued on the surface of the sword. Carim held the sword high in the air and a bright fire blinded everything around us. With the monster blinded, Carim dashed to the air and sliced the monster in half. It was quick and before the monster could realize it, every tentacle is burning into ash.
It’s the end and the monster lies unconscious in the ground. Apparently, that slash wasn’t enough to kill the monster. But it was more than enough to make it show its real form. It’s a naked man in his 20s with a tattoo coiling around his body. An illusioner like it said. It feeds on mana given off by its victims. Just as I was about to touch the man, a burning sensation blazed on my back.
“Your mark. It’s changing. No. Something’s being added.”
A mark of a snake wrapped around the sword. A mark of vanquisher of monsters and all manners of evil. I may not be the one who did the finishing blow but it recognized me as such. And also, that means I can possess this beast. Should I?