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The Magic Shop

Two Bills

Bill had always wanted a son. But his bitch of an ex-wife only had daughters. Deciding that now is the perfect opportunity, Bill changed “Roger’s” to “Bill’s”. Immediately after he changed it, he realized that he could have just replaced “Roger’s” with “his”. Hopefully that doesn’t screw things up too much.

“Can’t believe you went and got knocked up by some guy with your same name,” Roger grunted. “What are you gonna name him?” Bill suddenly realized that Roger’s bottoms were on, but his were not. He also felt an intense pain, like he had just pushed something out of his body. Oh god, he was the one who had given birth now. And the other parent of the baby was also named Bill!

“…Roger,” Bill said, his mind completely blank of any other names. Roger blinked at him in surprise, then smiled.

“You’re naming the kid after me? That’s…that’s really great of you.”

“You did help deliver him,” Bill said, taking a guess. Roger’s smile broadened.

“Yeah, I did.” Roger leaned over to tickle the baby in Bill’s arms. “Hey, little Roger. Your Uncle Roger is gonna spoil you rotten!” Roger started the car. “Now let’s get you to the hospital. The other Bill should already be there waiting for you.” They drove away. Bill looked down at his phone and generated a new sentence. He wasn’t happy with any of this, he needed out!

The new sentence read “Roger is driving his namesake and post-partum partner to the hospital.”


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