Billy was old enough to be potty trained. William was sick of changing his poopy diapers. He changed “isn’t” to “is” and set the phone down next to him. Promptly, Billy and Joel returned.
“False alarm, he didn’t need to go,” Joel said. Billy sat on the bench next to William. “I swear, he has a million false alarms a day.”
“Better than having an accident,” William retorted. Joel chuckled.
“True.”
While William and Joel chatted, Billy grabbed the phone. How he had originally been was getting fuzzy, but he was sure he wasn’t supposed to be a breastfeeding child. He quickly fixed that. Billy glanced over at his heavily pregnant father. Since becoming pregnant, William didn’t have enough time for Billy anymore. He’d had to spend “quality time” with Joel instead.
Snickering, Billy transferred William’s pregnancy to Joel. Then, for good measure, he made Joel a woman. Now, his daddy wouldn’t have divorced from his mommy because he realized he was gay. It was because he got caught cheating with the newly female Joel, aka Joella.
But Billy still wasn’t completely satisfied. He changed the twins Joella was pregnant with to male, since he didn’t want more sisters. And then he made Joella and William already married. He didn’t want to sit through a wedding, after all.
“Billy, come on,” William said firmly. Billy looked over at his daddy. To his surprise, William still had huge, pendulous breasts. “Daddy needs to pump.” Before Billy could do something about that, he was pulled off the bench and dragged away. The phone slipped out of his hand and onto the floor.
Billy looked back at it longingly, before deciding that he was fine with how things were. So what if his daddy still had giant, lactating boobs? That wasn’t Billy’s problem. That was William’s.
Billy was pleased.