Sir Lion Heart was a knight of simple principles. He upheld the law as best he could, says his prayers before bedtime, and did his best to keep his people safe. He also very much enjoyed these staged adventures with the children he referred to as his squires. There were some familiar faces, most of them either rich kids or brain map donors with lifetime passes, but most of them were here for the first time. Of course, the other major selling point of the park was the impression of a living, breathing, ever changing world, so obviously all kinds of exclusive events like this were quite special. Goblin attacks were fairly common, but they occurred randomly enough that they still counted.
And the guests couldn't get enough of it! No two visits quite the same as the last, always something new to discover. That was Whimsy World.
Sir Lion Heart stood before the gaggle of squires, hands behind his back like an army captain. They stared up at him in awe, excited to play pretend in the castle.
"Greetings dear squires," Sir Lion Heart addressed the young charges, "I am the good Sir Lion Heart, prince of Fantasy Kingdom and your captain. We've just been informed that a whole hoard of nasty goblins are once again coming to raid the castle's treasures. Are we going to let that happen?"
"NO WAY!" the excited children cried.
"No indeed," Sir Lion Heart concurred, "Today we will defend this castle to the last man! Each of you has been trusted with a mighty weapon to wield with valor as we charge into battle. If we are to succeed, it will take bravery, tenacity, and teamwork. Can we do it team?"
"YEAH!" the children shouted.
"Are we ready?" He raised his sword high in the air.
"YEAH!!!" the children cheered.
"I'm not ready!" one little boy said, "I need to go potty!"
"Ah. Well. Thank you for saying so," Sir Lion Heart said, "The bathroom is right down the hall there. We'll wait for you, but please do be quick." The child nodded and shuffled away. "Until then, I believe some practice is in order. The room next door has some dummies you can test your might on. Practice safely now, dear squires." With that, the children went to go "train" until the one kid was finished in the bathroom. When he returned, the kind knight asked once again if the team was ready for their mission, to which all declared yes.
"Well then, dear friends... LET THE BATTLE BEGIN!"
-
"All in a day's work, folks! Thank you for visiting Fantasy Kingdom!"
Another happy guest! You were getting the hang of this photo opportunity stuff. One of the kids even gave you a hug and said that you were their favorite knight! It really made you feel special, and you doubted you'd forget little Caleb. You had to admit though, a knight's work was a little exhausting, and you were feeling a little hungry. Perhaps one of the snack stalls could help, as you did see a few other mascots grab something to eat occasionally. Lucky for you, you knew your character's favorite vendor.
"Pretzels! Soft, fresh pretzels for sale! Get them while they're hot!" There was Horatio Hogwyld the pretzel vendor. Your character remembered him as the guy who took you in after you lost your family to Burningstein's minions. He was something of a surrogate father back in the day and knew a thing or two about monster fighting. Where else did he get the ingredients for his famous Pretzel Dog Wraps? You knew realistically it was regular old kosher franks, but y'know, semantics.
"Hello, Horatio!" you cheerfully greeted the old hog. He looked quite happy to see you.
"HEEEY! If it isn't leettle Hammond, all grown up!" Horatio laughed heartily, "I heard the big news. You are fully fledged knight now, ja?"
"Ab-so-LUTE-ly!" you proudly declared, "The king even gave me a special tool. Check this out!" You held your mighty hammer high above your head. A guest snapped a picture of you posing, which you weren't expecting, but you grinned sheepishly and waved hello all the same.
"Mighty fine hammond there, Hammond," Horatio said, "So let me guess, you came here to tell me good news, ja? Hungry?" he offered you a pretzel dog with mustard.
"Oh, thank you," you say as you take the food, "and yeah! I figured if anyone deserved to hear about it, it'd be the guy who'd been keeping me fed all these years." The old hog laughed again.
"Ah, you are too good for your own good, Hammond!" he wiped a tear from his eye, "I know you are going to do great things for our fair kingdom. Perhaps even become captain one day, ja?"
"Oh, I dunno about that," you chuckle sheepishly. Suddenly, you heard someone approaching you. Someone familiar. They called out to you in a sweet and melodic, yet panicked voice.
"Sir Hammer! Sir Hammer!" you saw Princess Dawn run up to you. She looked worried, and quite frankly that shocked you a little bit.
"Guh! P-Princess!" you stammered, stiff as a ram rod, "W-w-what's going on?"
"Oh Sir Hammer, it's terrible!" she cried, "A mean old goblin stole my favorite teddy bear! The one with the black opals for eyes, you remember?"
"Oh dear, not Mr Stuffins!" you felt genuine concern over the princess' stuffed animal, "You've had him for as long as I've known you! Why would they do such a thing?"
"Because," Dawn explained, "he's magical! What if they use him to do nasty things to people? I just... I can't... ooooh!" she as about to faint she was so terrified. You quickly caught her in your arms before she hit the ground.
"Not to worry my love- I mean, my Princess," you assured her, "I shall not rest until your precious treasure is rescued. I wasn't made a knight for nothing! Do you know which way they went?"
"L-l-last I saw them," she answered weakly, "They were heading into the Fairy Tale Forest. Oh, imagine the horrible things they must be doing to the animal friends! It makes me sick!"
"Go, Hammond!" Horatio told you, "I'll take care of leetlle princess. You go be her knight in shining armor, ja?"
"Ja!" you nod as you make haste for the nearby woods, "Stay safe!"
-
It was a fierce battle that took place on the castle grounds. Of course, the goblins didn't pose much of an actual threat since it was just young children fighting them, but it was still a spectacle to see. Some of them had swords that popped their heads off, making their headless bodies stumble blindly around to the children's amusement. Some had magic wands that zapped pretend lightning at them, making their arms and legs fall off. A few swung giant hammers that made the goblins flat as pancakes. One little boy had an oversized baseball bat that he used to send their heads flying. There were a few older kids who knew that none of this was real, they were just in it to see how many they could beat before the battle ended.
Sir Lion Heart of course had his own goblins to contend with, and despite this being something of a show they had to make it look real for the kids. One of the goblins managed to climb on his head to bang on him with knobbly fists. He plucked this one off, and chucked it as far as he could.
"Give up, nasty goblins!" Sir Lion shouted, "You are no match for the knights of Fantasy Kingdom!"
"ACK! He's right!" the goblin captain shrieked as he watched the battle rage on. He pulled out a little war horn and sounded it as hard as he could, "FALL BACK, BOYS! WE'RE IN OVER OUR HEADS! RETREAT!" The goblins below heard his command, and ran away from the battlefield. Sir Lion Heart and his squires had won.
"Three cheers for the bravest heroes our kingdom's ever seen!" the lion knight cheered. He led the kids in three triumphant hip-hip-hooray's as they all grouped around their captain. "Excellent work, dear squires! You showed great courage in the face of danger this day. I've never been so proud to have friends like you. Thank you so much for your help, for we couldn't have won this battle without you. Until next time, WHO ARE WE?!"
"THE BRAVEST KNIGHTS AROUND!" they all cheered.