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Dumbfuck Syndrome: The Lady Across the Street

added by ACornBot? 4 years ago BM S O Female Mental

Young Jeremy Walker was up in his second floor bedroom when the CDC van pulled up to his street. He was a recent high school graduate applying to college at the time. He was discretely watching from the window that looked out onto the street when the hazmat operators walked into his neighbor's house. They came out ushering out what looked like a red-haired hula girl with huge hips robed in a skimpy grass skirt and torpedo tits in an ill-fitting coconut bra. He saw her wide, dopey grin, and the long, slobbering tongue, clearly pegging her as a Dumbfuck.

He recognized this Dumbfuck as Mrs. McGillicutty, the respectable middle aged lady across the street. He recalled that she was a fairly conservative woman, not exactly friendly towards children. She liked hosting dinner parties for the adults in the neighborhood, presumably to show off with her cooking to establish some kind of stepfordian housewife supremacy Presumably she had relatively boring hobbies outside of cooking, but given her recent change that wouldn't be the case for much longer.

Jeremy wondered what was going to happen to her after the CDC finished examining her. Would they give her back to her husband? Would she have to be housed in one of the recently set up Dumphox containment centers? Didn't she used to have a job as well? He didn't suppose she would be going back to work too easily, what with her current condition. He also wondered what her new Dumbfuck name was... probably something like "Cocoknockers" or something equally stupid. He couldn't know for sure until the science people figured were done looking her over.

Come the next morning, at the crack of sunrise, Jeremy was woken up to the sound of stereotypical hula music playing outside. He groggily clomped over to the window and looked outside to see exactly what he thought it was. There was the Dumbfuck-ed Mrs. McGillicutty, hula dancing in a way that made her gigantic boobs flop and wobble around like ocean waves, tongue flapping around like a pennant flag. It seemed her dancing had woken up some of the other neighbors too, judging by the lights coming on. A few people were shouting at her to cut it out, but she seemed oblivious to their complaints, lost in her dancing and wobbling tits.

Jeremy decided to walk out to the Dumbfuck and tell her to stop. Hardly thinking, he climbed out of his window and somehow descended harmlessly onto the ground. As he walked over to the gyrating woman, she noticed his approach and waved at him gaily.

"Aloha!" she said to him, "I'm Cocoknockers!" (nailed it!) "Wanna dance with me? I'm welcoming the sun!"


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