"I'm trying!" he said. "I'm trying."
Suddenly Todd got an idea. Not necessarily the smartest idea, but an idea that might come to someone who de-ages a random person as a prank.
"Come with me," he said.
"Who ARE you?" she asked.
"Someone who went too far and is trying to figure out how to reverse it. Come on."
"Fine. Are you a mad scientist or something?" The girl threw on some of her clothes to keep from being naked and followed along.
"I'm studying mad science."
"Great. I try to keep away from that as much as I can. But what do I know, I'm not a superhero, I can't catch you guys."
He took her to the men's bathroom and zapped her again. Quickly picking up a paper towel, he let her shrink to a baby and placed her on the paper towel as she shrank past babyhood into an egg cell and a puddle of sperm. Then he carefully folded up the paper towel and left for his dorm room.
He hit the fast forward button and saw a lump growing again. There was no way to be sure that his sperm would be used but he figured there was a good chance of it. Luckily, the baby that grew was a girl this time.
"What are you doing?" she said in her young voice.
Looking at her face as she grew he said, "I think it worked. I replaced the sperm. You look like my daughter now. Because you are my daughter!"
"You can't just do that! Does that mean I'm not me any more?"
"That's a philosophical question. I'm a mad scientist. I don't do philosophical questions. But even though everyone comes from one sperm, you got aged down to a whole puddle of sperm, not one sperm. Obviously you don't depend on being any particular one. Do you feel like yourself? You're my daughter and being a mad scientist runs in families. You can inherit it. Are you a mad scientist, since you're my daughter? Because if you are you can fix it yourself. The problem will be solved!"
"How could I possibly be..."
"What's your name anyway?"
"My name is Elizabeth..."
"No, wait, you're my daughter, I should name you."
"Even if I'm your daughter by science, you didn't raise me. I still remember being me!"
"Maybe so, I want to try something else."
"Haven't you done enough?"
"Feh. Here's the deal. I can age you back to conception. Identical twins happen some time after conception. So I can keep aging you and deaging you. It's very rare that a single fertilized egg produces identical twins, but it's possible. If I try over and over again a few hundred times, sooner or later you'll end up as identical twins. I always wanted twin daughters."
"You're lying."
"Okay, I didn't always want twin daughters. But it's an idea I just got." He pressed the button on the remote and shrunk her down before she could object.
He de-aged her all the way down to a fertilized egg, and then he pressed the remote again and aged her. Since he didn't age her quite down to sperm, she appeared exactly the same as before. She might have had different fingerprints when she grew, but she still was his daughter. At about the age of six, she said, "This is useless."
With a few presses of the button, she shrank down to a fertilized egg and then all the way back up. She still looked the same. He tried again, and again.
"Stop this!" she yelled. "I look like your daughter each time! I don't even look any different! You're just repeating the same thing."
"You don't look different because I didn't age you all the way to sperm, so you're biologically the same each time. Twins are unlikely--I have to try lots of times! Now wait." He aged her down to a fertilized egg and up again. No change.
After doing this for hours, the unlikely one in hundreds chance happened. Pressing the aging button, the single fertilized egg produced two babies. They were infants, then they could walk, they got older, and were high school age, then college age. They looked at him and each other and began to say something.