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Mad Science

Oh no, my girlfriend!

added 2 years ago O

Justin gasped as a thought crossed his mind. He started to tear up a little bit.

"Oh, no, Dad, this is awful! This means I can't go out with Melissa tomorrow!"

Justin's father looked even more confused.

"Why not, Son?"

"Isn't it obvious? How can I possibly keep on dating her if I can't ... I can't ..."

"... eat with her at Pseudo Burger?"

"No! Not that. I mean, it would be too awkward, like, what could she possibly want with a man with my lack of money and not even any balls?!"

"Don't be so hard on yourself, Justin! You're just starting out. It's not like she's some kind of millionaire heiress or something, no offense. And what WOULDN'T she want with you? You're quite the catch, you know. Nice, athletic... you kind take after yours truly if I do say so myself. And what would she even be able to do with a guy WITH testicles? I mean, sure, they have their own lives and hobbies, and most of them are nice and intelligent people in spite of the stereotypes, but even so, mating and semen collections take up the vast majority of their time. Supposedly they think about sex every 15 minutes. They've lived pretty much their whole lives at the reproduction centers and most of their education has been focused on that from a young age. She'd probably only be able to visit one during a group outing or on special occasions."

John sniffed a bit and sobbed, not having cried so easily since he was younger.

"You mean I can still date?"

"Well, yeah, I mean you've been datin' her for two years, haven't ya? What's bringing all this stuff up all of a sudden? You two didn't have an argument or something?"

"No, dad. Sorry, I guess I just, had some sort of weird dream or somethin'? I don't know exactly..."

"Well, you can talk to your old man any time. I still say I was right that your mother and I should have sent you to that other school across town. I always thought they'd taught you about dating and reproduction in different health classes. Maybe it's time we went to visit your sperm donor again; you never did get to spend as much time with him as you did with Ms. Evans the surrogate..."

"Uh, I don't know, maybe. Anyway, I'm going to go get cleaned up. I've gotta pick up my paycheck before work after my video chat with Melissa."


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