Kyle decided he still had to find some way to use the remote. Despite being immobile, it was his only way to get back into the life of an actual human being. Hell, even an animal would be better than this. The remote was lying on the ground in front of him, the relative size of a small car. The business end of the remote was almost pointing at him, but not quite.
But when he tried to directly lift the remote, he found his arms instead bending as if they didn't have bones in them. He supposed that this was the remote's magic bending the rules of reality to make his human body fit the role of a blade of grass. He was supple, easily bent. The comparison to plant life made him shudder. Surely he was more than this?
Kyle took a moment to calm himself. Panicking wouldn’t do him any good at all. After a few deep breaths, he experimentally picked up a clump of dirt off the ground, about the relative size of a brick. He had to bend his body quite far forward to grab hold of it, and once he did he tried to stand up straight. He succeeded in lifting the clump over his head, but his body was not strong enough to offer resistance and he continued to fall over backwards. “Shit!” he thought, until the clump hit the ground behind him, bending his body into an arch that would be backbreaking, if he still had a real back “Okay, that did not work out”, Kyle thought.
Despite the problems, Kyle kept at it, and after about fifteen minutes of dedicated practice, he was able to lift and move pebbles and clumps of dirt from place to place in a 4 foot radius around him. He had to intently concentrate to keep his balance while doing so, and his entire body wobbled. He experimentally wedged a clump of dirt under the side of the remote, using a pebble as a hammer to pack the dirt in. He had to bend all the way back to give the pebble enough run-up to pack the dirt in, but he compacted it fairly tightly.
Kyle added more and more dirt, and as he did he noticed the remote pointing more and more towards him. As the twilight faded into a moonless night, Kyle got really tired. This was more than ordinary sleep deprivation, and Kyle realized that it was likely due to a lack of sunlight. He was almost at the point of passing out, when he decided the remote was aimed more or less at him. He reached up to the top of the remote, and was just able to get at the button to select him. He could not press the button with enough force to activate it, so he hit it with a pebble until he felt the click. “Yes, I’ve selected myself! I can get out of this after all!”. As he faded into unconsciousness, his last thought was “Now, all I have to do is select someone else”.
As a blade of grass, Kyle didn’t quite sleep. The experience was more similar to passing out, or going under for surgery. As he came to the next morning, he was faintly aware of the strangely familiar sound of a motor in the distance. He tried to stretch his arms out, when he found they wouldn’t respond. They were stuck to the side of his body, and he couldn’t move them an inch. Fear began to rise up in Kyle, as he realized that he couldn’t move any part of his body. A light breeze blew in, the wind buffeting him back and forth, and he was powerless to stop it. “What’s happening to me? Why can’t I move?”, Kyle thought.
Kyle noticed the familiar sound getting louder and louder, from behind him. It came to a deafening roar when he realized what it was in a pang of abject terror: “It’s a lawnmower!”
A huge red skyscraper moved past him from behind, missing him only by a few feet, with it bringing the peak of the sound. At that very moment, Kyle cowered in fear, trying to hide from the shower of grass and particles shooting off of the mower’s enormous blades. As the mower receded, Kyle realized that he could once again move around. He noted the groundskeeper riding the mower. “He must’ve been the reason why I couldn’t move.”
He looked to his side, where the mower had came through, and shuddered. The newly cut grass ended at his waist, and smelled of rotten meat. He bent himself below the cut line. He couldn’t imagine what it would be like to be cut in half.
But maybe he wouldn’t have to. The mower made a U-turn at the end of the field, now bearing directly at him. With Kyle in sight of the groundskeeper, he felt himself lose control of hisbody as a breeze blew him back up, right in the line of fire! “Oh god, this is the end!”, he thought as the lawnmower approached.