I shook my head. Beggar's can't be choosers, I guess. It was my idea to try and cut my landlord down to size, anyway, and my stupid ass who didn't remember basic stats. All I could do now was run damage control.
"Jason Gray's penis percentile statistics in ((relation to)) all human males:
Penis size percentile (flaccid): 1st
Penis size percentile (erect): 1st"
Theoretically, changing "relation to" to "in the presence of" would at least give me an average dick when I was alone, and if I didn't edit anything I would definitely be stuck with this practically non-existent nub. I shivered at the thought, hating how it was frightening and arousing at the same time.
"Here goes nothing," I muttered as I crossed out the words and waited in agonizing silence. Nothing happened. So this was my new reality now – servicing real men for the rest of my life just like that asshole Larry had said. Thinking about Larry's monster cock made my nub throb pathetically. I groaned.
Maybe there was something else on the page I missed. Maybe if I increased the high end of average enough, I could skew the stats far enough to at least give me something big enough to effectively jerk off. It wasn't until I had scratched out "10" and replaced it with "15" that I noticed "relation too" had faded after all. There was still hope! I punched the air and made the edit before my luck ran out.
I felt the same warm tingle as when my dick shrank earlier, but this time, I ended up with a respectable 7 inches. Bigger than my original, even if it wasn't anything special in the new world I had accidentally created. My face flushed. I had a real dick again. I didn't waste any time exploring my restored anatomy.
I was on the cusp of one of the biggest orgasms of my life when I heard a knock on the door and then the creak of hinges. That asshole Larry was back! My orgasm faded away, absorbed into the now familiar sensation of transforming as my dick reeled back down to nothing. Was it going to be like this every time I was near anyone?
"What the hell are you doing here!" I said, covering myself and trying not to shout at my smirking landlord. The quicker I could get him to leave, the quicker I could get back to having a normal dick.
"You really are obsessed with my dick, aren't you? Larry said, ignoring my question. He started casually groping his bulge. "You must have started jerking off the minute I left."
"I just haven't had the chance to get dressed yet," I whined. "Just leave!"
"Were you writing about our little encounter earlier?" Larry asked, nodding at the open book. "Dear diary," he said with a mocking, airheaded lilt, "something incredible just happened! So, you know how I'm like, totally obsessed with that *gorgeous* Larry Douglas, especially his amazing muscles and that perfect pornstar cock?"
My cheeks burned and tingled as I looked down at Larry's massive bulge. "I'm not...I don't sound like that..." Did his arms look bigger? Why was I blushing?
"Well! Today he found all the pervy fanfics I've been writing. I always call him an asshole and a pig, but he saw through my act. And then guess what? Larry finally let me see what a real man's dick looks like up close! It. Was. Amazing. *Definitely* way bigger than I thought! Probably like, a foot long, and super thick. I don't think both my hands put together could reach around it!" it looked like Larry was turning himself on with his little story. He was about to burst out of his pants—not that I would have minded.
"I almost felt bad for that weenie Greg guy with him. His dick is only 7, maaaybe 7 and half inches long, and Larry is at least twice as big, maybe more! I reaaally hope he lets me measure it someday. But even Greg looks big compared to my pathetic nub. It's not even an inch!"
Something was happening under my hand. I tried to peek without Larry noticing, but that my gasp gave it away. I had shrunk even more! What was happening?
"Checking to make sure it's still there?" Larry laughed before returning to his narration. "It was soooo embarrassing being naked in front of them, even if Greg is kind of small. Anyways, I was desperate to suck the dick of my dreams, but you know how scared I am of big dicks like Larry's!"
Something wasn't right. Shit! The silver ink was doing something! How long had that been going on?
"Larry knew just what I needed though. Practice! Greg didn't last very long but I think I got the hang of it. I was still pretty nervous, but also I needed to see Larry shoot his load! He has crazy stamina and can last like fooorever, but he can also cum sooner when he wants--and he can cum oodles and oodles and oodles! And probably a dozen times a day!"
I was torn between full blown panic and growing lust. I tried to subtly close the book before Larry figured out what it could do.
"Okay, okay! I get the point. You have a big dick," I said, rolling my eyes. "Why are you here?"