You were relieved that the dopamine hit finally died down to allow you to at least show some emotion that wasn't forced joy and happiness. Though you didn't show off your unhappiness well. Your feminine smile still beamed as if your whole body was a lighthouse and your teeth were the light, shining towards the deep depths that was this odd hellscape of a spaceship. Your eyebrows didn't show anything because they were nonexistent. They were just drawn on as if it was done in felt-tip pen. You didn't even feel it on you, it was just there. Maybe the energy numbed your skin enough to just let it happen. The spaceship just felt a lot quieter. There was the occasional giggle, but nothing extreme. Nothing like before. It all just felt quiet. You didn't know why. It honestly was starting to put you on edge. You just wanted to hear something now, even if it was the laughter of Amazimanda or the nerdy clowns. It felt suffocating, it really did. You couldn't handle the silence anymore. You looked to the clowns. They all stared at you, big smiles on their faces, it just unnerved you. Something was happening or about to happen. All you wanted to do was get out of here. You tried to move your hands again, but nothing would budge. Your feet felt like they were glued into place. You couldn't do anything, which made the situation far worse. You were stuck with them. Amazimanda stood forward, a huge smile on her face, and spoke.
"It's time to finish off our fun little process! It's been really, really fun! *Hyuck* But this'll make you really smile! Samantha, Sindy, ya ready?"
W-What? What did she mean by making you "really smile"?
Both Samantha and Sindy spoke in unison, with joy in their voices. Whatever was about to happen, they were enjoying it. "Ready, Amathimanda!"
You didn't know what was going on. You were struggling to keep a hold of yourself. You stopped being annoyed and you started becoming scared. You watched as the machines that produced these flows of energy were starting to get closer, filling your heart with dread. Whatever was about to happen was going to take it's toll on you. You tried to move your head. You tried to break out of this stance and shield yourself. You tried to scream. Nothing worked. Instead you just stood there, as if you were ready to take whatever this "end of process" thing was. You heard Amazimanda and the nerdy clowns start to countdown. You didn't know what this meant. You didn't know what was going to happen.
"5"
Surely, you could just break out of this magnetic standing pose. You tried and tried but nothing happened.
"4"
You reused tactics that you did previously, but every alteration that happened prior seemed to have stopped you in your path.
"3"
You tried to shield your head in your own breasts but you couldn't move your head. You tried to turn around somehow but it didn't work. You were stuck.
"2"
You look out to Amazimanda, pleading with her to get her to stop this. Amazimanda just waved goodbye to you, blowing a kiss. This was it. This was the end of you.
"1"
The streamers that once flowed like silk now flowed like pressurized water, all of it aiming towards your eyes. You had no time to blink. You had no time to think. The mere millisecond that you saw them coming was too late before all of the energy pierced through, covering your eyes in a multicoloured rainbow wash. You couldn't see Amazimanda or the nerdy clowns anymore, the energy covered your eyes before rushing through to your brain. You couldn't display the pure pain that this was causing you. The energy rushed to get into the center of your brain, flowing outwards onto every available surface around it. The pain that you had to endure was excruciating as you felt like the energy would just cut your brain like a knife, but instead it numbed itself. The energy flowed downwards getting to every part of your internal system. Your throat, your vocal chords, your heart, your immune system, your lungs, everything that the energy needed to alter. You couldn't feel anything anymore. Your mind numbed every feeling and every thought that you had. You couldn't feel what the energy had done to your internal system. Your voice changed thoroughly to something bright, bubbly, giggly and feminine. Your lungs mutated and multiplied into six additional and powerful lungs. Every alteration that was internal made your external body shake a bit, making your "additions" jiggle. Your heart mutated, getting bigger, but there was nothing wrong with the change. Your immune system didn't stop the energy from changing you, but the energy did change your immune system. It became stronger, more powerful, but it flowed more and more of the energy, completing more changes that the energy were creating. The energy started to completely shrink down your own tear ducs, making them completely useless. That's when the energy started to soak into your brain, your mind, your soul. You couldn't stop it, the numbness of your brain just accepted it as part of yourself. Memories waved away like sandcastles at the beach. Hard earned accomplishments just became distant thoughts, and those distant thoughts became even more distant before just fading away into nothingness. You couldn't stop it because you didn't notice it, you couldn't hold on to a memory because you didn't know what was real. You just let it all fly away. You, the whole of you, was going away and not coming back. You couldn't remember what was wrong about where you were or what you looked like beforehand. All that registered was what you looked like now, and that became the new normal. Panic about wanting to leave became a feeling of relief to be back home. The energy was starting to release new memories in your mind. You remembered that you looked like a clown, but the new truth in your mind was that you were a clown. You were born a clown. You lived among clowns. You were a clown. The revelation made you start to giggle. You were a clown. A happy clown. A really happy clown. All the sadness that followed you throughout your life, all the anger and envy, all the depression and the anxieties, all the dull moments of unsureness and confrontation, were gone. All the moments, no matter how hurtful, that made you human were gone. You just felt really bubbly. You giggled away all your negative emotions as they popped out like pop rocks out of your mind. It was like your mind was covered by a rainbow, you just felt so carefree. You giggled and snorted in laughter. You just loved the feeling of being happy. You even started to come up with jokes in mere seconds, laughing at them despite no one hearing you say them. No joke in your mind was old or corny, you loved them! You loved laughing at them. Your external appearance was changing too. The waves of energy started to alter your clothes. Your T-shirt undergone a huge transformation. The shoulders poofed out, creating cute puffy shoulder pads that became pastel pink in colour. Your shirt changed to a frilly dress jacket that was so overly pink. Next joined a corset/waistcoat that was more red than pink, which combined with your pants to form a huge frilly tutu that glittered away in the light. You then had high striped socks from above your knees right to your long and floppy shoes. Your new memories started to take hold. You were a performer in Amazimanda's crew. Oh, how you loved her and how she loved you! You were so welcomed by everyone, but you were such a show off for Amazimanda. You know how much she loved you when you were showing off to her. You could dance about the place so elegantly, yet still take a pie to the face without any flinches. You were... You were...
"*HehehahahaheHyuck* Hiya! I'm Sherri Loveberry! I'm gonna make you smile!"
You were always a happy clown! The process was finishing up, leaving your eyes with a brand new colour iris, bright pink! You were allowed to move again and you danced and jumped around, before diving into Amazimanda for a kiss! You loved this place and you loved these people so much! You were so happy here!
"Welcome back, Sherri! *Hyuck* Did you enjoy your time on Earth?"
You loved your time performing there, hearing the crowds roar with laughter and applause. You loved it!
"Uh-huh *HeheHyuck* But the people there are so miserable sometimes. Maybe they would love to be clowns like us!"
Amazimanda grinned from ear to ear. "Yeah *Hyuck* They would love that!"