There was an unexpected knock on the door, prompting me to slam the book shut like I had been caught with a dirty magazine, which wasn't too far from the truth.
I did a double-take at the door. It looked eerily like my landlord, Larry, but this guy was clearly at least part Asian and wasn't wearing the ratty sweatpants and undershirt Larry was always wearing. A huge figure in sunglasses loomed behind him, easily six and a half feet tall and build like a pro-wrestler.
"Hope we aren't disturbing you, Jason. Kai here," he said, gesturing to the tan giant in the hall, "wanted a quick look around. He just moved here from Hawaii and he's interested in renting."
"We'll be quick," Kai rumbled as he stepped into the room, "you'll barely notice us."
"I doubt that somehow," I muttered, trying not to stare up as he moved past me. He practically had his own gravity well. Kai tapped at a K-pop boy-band poster that I didn't remember hanging.
"You into K-pop? Or just have a thing for Asian men like me?" he asked with a suggestive smirk. It was a little unnerving with the sunglasses blocking his eyes. Mortified, I tried to come up with an excuse. Kai just laughed and headed back into the bedroom.
"So Jason, ready for school to start?" new Larry chatted while Kai checked out the back of the apartment.
"Oh, it's, y'know, going okay," I mumbled lamely. Another laugh from Kai. What was he…oh crap! I left my computer open with that stupid singles ad up! And the book was still on my bed!
"Everything okay? You look a little green there," new Larry asked me as Kai walked back out. "Kai! How does it look?"
"Looks great," Kai said with a wolfish smile in my direction, "the apartment looks pretty nice too. I'm definitely interested."
He walked closer, grabbing my wrist in his meaty grasp. "I'm sure I'll be 'near you' soon enough, but you can give me a call if you get lonely before then," he said as he scribbled a phone number on my forearm. I felt myself turning the deepest shade of red I had ever turned in my life as Kai and my new landlord left, unable to stammer out a goodbye. I ran back into my room.
Sure enough, the cocky jock from the "Big-Dicked Asians Near You!!!" ad was still there on my screen, smirking at me like he was in on the joke. As I reached to close the window, my forearm grazed across a page of the magic book. Either I forgot to close it, or Kai had been snooping. The ink on my arm was still wet enough to smudge the page. Shit. I watched the blurry numbers of Kai's phone-number flip around and sharpen into print. I stared for a moment, and then other words started to form.
Name: Kai Kekoa
Age: 21
Height: 6' 6"
Weight: 270 lb
Eyes: brown
Hair: black
Gender: male
Address: Motor-Inn Motel, Exit 39
Phone number: 555-400-3719
More biographic information continued to fill the page. Well this was new.