Ahh, I see you have your eyes on my newly developed Gamer Fuel potion, hmm? Yes yes, indeed! My eyes are too sharp to be fooled so easily, dearie! Would you like to know what it does?
This potion, as my testing shows it, will imbue your body with the following permanent effects:
• Quickened ability to learn how to play any video game.
• Increased reaction time and hand/eye coordination.
• Heightened power of charisma.
• Spikes in appetite.
• Heightened digestion and adipose retention.
• Increased flatulence.
Hmm? What does those last effects have to do with becoming better at video games? Never you mind that, dearie. They’ll grow on you. Drink this, and not only will you become a highly skilled player of all things electronic entertainment, but you’ll also naturally draw positive attention to yourself! Yes, this is the potion to make you a world famous games streamer! So what’s a few extra pounds here or a few extra poots there? Drink this, and you will become legendary! Think of the awards, the fan donations, the sponsorships! Do you want all of these things and more?
Then I recommend you purchase this potion, maybe even share it between friends! One gulp is all you need. One gulp, and Internet stardom is yours for the taking!