Kneeling at the edge of your raised bed, you push aside foliage, searching for more garden pests. Your eyes are zipping around with a predator's narrowed focus, searching for any sign of a tasty grasshopper, pill bug or beetle. [huh? "tasty?"]
With your head and torso buried in tomato plants, you fail to realize that your butt has begun pulsing, pushing backwards over the stretchy waistband of your sweatpants and rapidly growing into a long, tapered tail. Dark scales cover your new appendage, spreading up your back as well as down your legs.
Your knees twinge as the scales cover them, and you unconsciously lift them from the ground, spreading them wide as your hips reshape and your feet pull under you to support your weight in a crouch. You'd gone barefoot in the garden, as was your habit, and you barely feel a twitch as your toes elongate and spread, sharp claws replacing your toenails and digging into the dirt and gravel.
Just as you're about to pull back to standing, you spot a well-camouflaged grasshopper chowing-down on the leaf of your cucumber plant! Your eyes zero-in, pupils enlarging as your focus narrows and your whole body freezes. Something rustles the leaves above you and your prey crouches, preparing to jump, but before it can hop your tongue whips out, wrapping around the stunned insect and pulling it back into your mouth with lightning-speed! You snap your jaws shut without thinking, feeling it's tough carapace and spindly legs crack against the fleshy muscles of your mouth.
"BLEGCH!!!" you screech, spitting the bug onto the soil below you before you can crunch down again. As you gaze at the crushed insect in horror, wondering what possessed you... and how... your tongue... you finally begin to notice the changes. Your hands, now completely covered in dark greenish brown scales and tipped with sharp black claws, flex and dig into the soft soil of the garden bed. Your eyes swivel, rolling wildly as you realize you barely have to turn your head to look back down along the left side of your body... while at the same time your right eye is darting independently, your brain somehow able to process both visual inputs separately! Your t-shirt has ridden up, or... you torso has lengthened? You've crawled farther into the plants than you'd realized, but your hips and legs were still below the edge of the raised bed, your middle covered in a green and brown splotchy scale pattern.
You close your eyes to shut out the evidence of ... what? Magic? Contamination? Evolution?? You fail to notice as your hair flutters to the dirt, your head becoming flatter and more angular as your nose and mouth push out into a reptilian jawline.
"What is HAPPENING TO ME?!" you wail.