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The Zoo

Hitting the sack

added A year ago A BM

It's time to watch your favourite TV show. You walk before the couch, and step your forelegs then hindlegs on the sofa, crouching your lower body down to resemble a lying dog. Turning your upper torso towards the television, you switch it on with your remote (the buttons are harder to press with claws, but you readjusted well), only to find the timeslot of the show being switched with the evening news. Buggers. At least there's a replay tomorrow.

You switch the television off, and begin to fall slightly drowsy. Time for bed.

The bedroom is upstairs. Once again, going upstairs is not much different from how a normal dog would, but going downstairs is bothersome. You'll have to worry about this tomorrow morning, but you decide to relax for now.

Heading into your bedroom, you try to lie on your back, both bellies and sets of legs pointing upwards. However, your bed isn't long enough, as your posterior falls uncomfortably onto the ground. You then try to curl yourself up like a dog would. Your head still lies on your hindquarters, but since your taur body is two torsos long, you have to curl up a little more to fit your whole body onto the bed, without any limbs hanging off.

Once you are accustomed to this position, you lift your upper torso and attach to the light switch, turn off the lights, close the curtains, and… nature calls again. At the most inopportune moment.

You head to the toilet connected to your room, this time directly climbing onto the toilet seat, your forelegs on the wall of the bathtub (this room doesn't have a stool, forcing you to improvise) and your hindquarters aimed at the toilet, such that your body now faces sideways with respect to the toilet. Therefore, after relieving yourself, you only have to turn your upper torso to flush. You shut the windows tight on the way out, glad that you've caught that before someone trespasses through there.

Returning to your bed, you practice curling in the other direction this time, and finally manage to fall asleep and hence enter dreamland.

You're human again with full colour vision restored. Standing in the backyard, you see a tennis ball flying towards you, you instinctively catching it with your newly grown muzzle. Another one flies sideways a bit behind your (upper) torso and you can feel it smack your newly grown back half. "Aww snap, should have aimed better, sorry doggie." Wait — doggie? During your lapse in attention another one zooms at you, this time a little lower, and you catch it with your hand that you can somehow has claws sinking into the ball. And another again, this time seeming to land before you. You instinctively rush towards it, feeling four legs in a tiptoe stance instead of two (though your arms are still raised, so you have six limbs in total), as you catch it in the other hand, also with the feeling of claws. There's no need for a mirror — you know damn well what's happening, and maybe it'll undo itself once you wake up!

…Nope, you're still curled-up six-limbed mass covered in a thin layer of fur. And you're fed up with all this.


What do you do now?


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