The four girls were lead down a narrow hallway to a door that had CLOWN PROCESSING CENTER in bold letters written on white placard.
The receptionist opened the door. "Okay girls," and they entered into what looked like a bare, spartan room with wall benches and several white bathrobes hanging from hooks. "Get out of your clothes-and that includes shoes, socks, panties and bras-and into those robes; they will later be taken back to your rooms. After that, enter here," and she pointed at another door on the other side of the room.
After she left, the four friends did as suggested. "Doesn't this seem a little-," Sussie asked, "strange? I mean, shouldn't we first be trained, you know, in stuff like juggling or tying balloons?"
"That would take months, and we're only going to be here two weeks," said Kassie. "They probably plan to just have us dress up, then hand out flyers or balloons or toys."
"Sounds kind of dull," pouted Alice. "Anyway, what kind of clowns do you girls want to be?"
"Huh?" Beckie looked surprised. "You mean there's more than one kind of clown?"
"Sure." Alice told her friends about the different stages of clowns such as the whiteface, the auguste, the hovo-or the hobos' female counterpart the bag lady+and the various kind of roles they played.
"I don't really care," muttered Becky as she slipped on her robe. "I just want to start this job, get two weeks over with, and get paid."
"Boy is she grumpy," Sussie whispered to Kassie. "She'd be perfect for a bag lady or whatever Alice called them."
"And you and Alice would make great August-,"
"Auguste," corrected Alice.
"Augustes." Kassie said. "You two are both wacky enough."
"And you'd be a perfect whiteface," replied Alice. "You're the squad captain after all."
"Okay." Kassie saw all four of them were in their bathrobes. "C'mon, let's go get 'processed.'"
The door girls opened the next door- and couldn't believe their eyes.
The room they stepped into next reminded them of a beauty parlor-except the walls were covered with polka dots, the ceiling was plaid, and the floor was striped. Circus calliope music was playing through speakers.
And the women standing next to the beautian chairs were all clowns.
The oldest seeming one-it was hard to tell under the makeup and wig-a plump buxum whiteface waddled over to them.
She glanced down at them, here eyes peering underneath blue shadowed Wes and extra long eyelashes. "So y'all gals are our newest vic-er, clients, hehe ye ha?" She squeezed her big red nose, giving off a loud HONK!
"Er, ah, yes?" Kassie sounded for once unsure of herself.
"Well, I'm Dolly Dottie, hehe ya ha," the clown replied, her voice squeaky with an exaggerated southern accent. She honked her nose again. "Me and my gals here, he he ya ha are going bring out your inner clown, hehe ya ha." Honk!
"Excuse me," Kassie said, "but I thought we'de be trained before-,"
Dolly Dottie gave a cackling laugh. "That's the best thing about this place, he he ya ha. You learn on the job!" Honk! "But before y'all can start, ya need ta look the part. Now pick a chair and let's begin!" Honk! Honk!
Each girl was led by two clowngirls-a whiteface and auguste each-to a chair where they sat down. A barber's cape was put over each of the and the beautician-clowns went to work.
"Gotta do your hair and nails before we start your face, he he ya ha." Kassie heard Dolly Dots say as she cut and brushed Lassie's brown hair while an auguste who introduced herself as BeBe filed her nails.
The other girls were experiencing the same treatment. Like beauticians everywhere the clowngirls were very fond of chatting and gossip-and they seemed to punctuate their sentences with gufaws and giggles, while honking their noses as an audible period or exclamation point.
While the girls' hair was being washed Beckie, who'd been the most reluctant about being a clown, said "You know this isn't so bad."
"Oh yeah,"agreed Kassie. "If they give us this kind of treatment all the time, I might want to work here longer than two weeks."
"Or maybe even stay here for the rest of my life, he he ya ha," giggled Alice.
After the shampoo was rinsed out, the girls' hair was put in rollers or curlers, then an elastic cloth cap attached by a hose to a small machine on the beauty table. "A special kind of hairdryer, he he ya ha," said one of the augustes. Next the beauty chairs were laid back flat while the girls' feet were each placed into a bubbling foot bath.
"All right, he he ya ya," giggled Dolly, "now we start on y'all gals' faces." There was a strange glint her eyes
"What's that?" Kassie asked as Dolly poured a clear liquid from a bottle onto a small towel.
Dolly place the towel over Kassie's nose and mouth; the other clowns did the same with Alice, Sussie, and Beckie. The last thing they all heard was Dolly saying "Chloroform."
......
Half an hour later, Dolly Dots and all the other clowngirls were done with the girls' 'makeup,' even having gone as far as making up their arms and legs. Over each girl's nose was a device called a 'nosegrapher' that was hooked up to the same machine as the hairdryer caps.
DING! the timer sounded. Dolly and her girls removed each of the unconscious girls' hairdryer caps and nosegraphers, then took their feet out of the footbaths.
Dolly and her staff admired their handiwork. Kassie's complexion was porcelain white, her cheeks were rouged a soft red and her lips were a bright red cupid's bow. Her brown hair was now glittering pink with wavy curls down to her shoulders that went well with the rest of her simple, elegant 'makeup.
Alice and Sussie were both augustes with white ovals around their eyes and a white muzzle around their mouths. Alice's skin was sugary pink and her blonde hair was now bright red and curled into an afro. The smile inside her muzzle was blue-black.
Sussie's 'makeup' was similar to except her complexion was more a peach color, The smile in her muzzle was red, and like Alice she'd been blonde but now it was green and curly-and on top she was bald.
Beckie now had a dull orange complexion; she also had white around her eyes and mouth. But she wasn't an auguste; she was a bag lady. The eyelids inside her white patches were shaded a full grey, and the lower lip was the same shade. Her black hair was now matted and streaked with grey around the edges. Like Sussie, at the very top her head was bald and smooth.
Each girl now had a bulbous red clown nose and ridiculously long clown feet.
The girls were now stirring; the chloroform was wearing off. One of Dolly:s assistants came to each girl:s left ear holding a foghorn.
All at once each foghorn sounded; the newly made teenage clowns suddenly awoke from their stupor.
Staring at each other, Kassie, Sussie, Alice and Becky like looked at each other, then themselves in the mirror. And then....