A figure of initially indescribable stature moves among the surprising throng of people who caught your attention here in your local shopping district. Initially what they were saying was in some language alien to you, but as the seconds passed, you could hear the language most comfortable to you coming from their mouth. A moment in time later, their lips aligned with the words, and their image became more solid to you.
You'd likely never seen a Charibabel spell up close before, but you understood what had happened. This employee of More Than Masks had a spell upon them which made them appear as a figure most likely to be ingratiating to making a sale. It was hard to deny the results before you, obviously designed to facilitate the finalization of a sale.
They looked like they were overwhelmed as the only apparent employee on the floor, but ultimately they were dealing with the issue. You caught dialog from them that indicated their parent company had changed a policy and made a flood of customers to all their various costume stores. The business was absolutely packed with product, with many sections, isles, changing areas, and shelves lined with costumes of transformative nature.
"Vari," one person called towards the seemingly only employee on duty. "You've got centaur outfits, yeah?"
"Of course," responded the employee, moving in a way that kept your attention as the Charibabel made them appealing and attention-getting to you. They motioned to one of the overhead signs which was made of wood, but whose letters glowed of a neon colored fire. It said 'Taurs' and Vari smiled as they placed a hand at the man's back, directing them further into the store.
Following the two, you'd note the various shapes and types of centaur outfits. In truth, there were taurs you'd never once caught the shape of represented here. Various full and partial tauric bodies were held visible, stacked against each other in the racks along the sides of all the isles of the section.
"As you can see, we have a classic horse-body design here," Vari was saying to the man. "Various breeds and shapes, gender neutral, sex cispecific, sex duality, sexless, intersexed, and plenty of others... each suit is marked at the tag at the inner-side of the horse 'neck'."
The man blinked. "I'm looking for a Clydesdale." Vari just smiled and nodded. They always had enough Clydesdale. It was the most common horse breed sought by first-timers. "But all those genders. Sorry. My generation didn't grow up with all that," he said. "Not that there's anything wrong with that," the man said, regretting his choice of words. "I'm open, I just don't know all the details."
"Well," Vari said with a consoling look, putting their hands together in front of them. "The Gender Neutral tag means that the horse's gender and sex configuration will be the same as your own. So if you're a cismale, that'll be the case. If you're a transwoman, that'll maintain," Vari explained. "Recommended as a good default for your first non-human transformation," they added.
The man nodded. "And 'sex cisspecfic'? That sounds made-up, no offense."
"None taken," Vari grinned, waving one hand out to the side as they said so. "I'll tell you a secret," Vari added, leaning in towards the man. "All words are made-up." He chuckled, and you had to wonder what Vari looked and sounded like to him to garner such a jolly response. "But, you're not wrong. Essentially, it means you'll be the cissex of the costume."
The man thought about it, then came to the correct conclusion: "It means no gender-confusion because whatever sex the costume is, that'll also become your gender? So it changes your mind? That sounds scary to me."
"Well, that's why that's a Special Modifier," explained Vari. "Like other adjectives we assign to our suits, it is as you guessed: you won't have gender dysphoria while wearing the suit." Vari motioned to one of the other suits. "I think you get that being transgender means a person does't align with their default sex. Imagine you and your partner—" Vari's eyes glanced at the wedding ring on the man's finger, "—swapped sexes for a romp, yes? As most of the suits are Cispecific, that would mean that if you swapped to a different sex, that your experience wouldn't be hampered by feeling 'wrong' in your current body like someone who's trans does."
The man blinked. "Is there a reason not all your suits are like that? Why would someone want the dysphoria."
Vari opened their mouth to say something, but someone who appeared as a young woman stepped up to them. "Can I... can I answer that, Vari?" the repeat customer wondered. They had dark brown hair and green eyes, and those eyes turned to look at the man. "Sorry to intrude. But I know the answer from, uh... personal experience."
The man stepped to one side to allow them to step forward so they were easier to hear over the din of the busy store.
"I'm a transman... I pick the masculine clothing without the Cisspecific tag because I want to know what I'm feeling is me. And... Vari," those green eyes looked at the employee. "My mom is here today. She's going to do the same and spend the weekend as a man because of the pricedrop." The transman turned to face the man directly. "She wants to experience gender dysphoria because... because she wants to understand me better," he said.
Vari let a whistle out through their teeth. "They're giving themselves dysphoria as a parent to understand their kid better? That is just downright wholesome," Vari said. They seemed to ask with their eyes if a hug was acceptable and receive confirmation from the transman with a look. Vari proceeded to hug them and, again, you wondered what Vari appeared to them as. "I'm guessing you were waiting on me because I had to move product. Your usual boxer-briefs selection is up ahead on the left now." Vari motioned forward with their hand towards a section of plain-looking human cloths for men and women.
As the transman gave a 'thank you' before walking away. The other man watched them go, taking in the sway of their hips and the bounce of their bust. He then looked back to Vari. "She—" he began, but was quickly interrupted.
"—He," Vari politely corrected.
"Right, sorry," the man said, acknowledging his mistake. "He is in here often?"
"Well, as I'm sure you're aware, all our products are semi-permanent. Using magic is a little more nuanced than HRT with the ability to give slightly different results each time. Your own 'perfect body' might be found through trial and error." Vari paused, taking a breath as they thought. "But, also, magic is expensive which is why not everyone's making themselves a dragon," Vari chuckled. "Or centaur, in your case."
"You say that, but your store is filled to the brim," the man said, speaking over the commotion of the rest of the store.
You yourself understood that to be true, certain you were about to hear why that was. Vari had explained that there had been a pricedrop. Was it that drastic? Was there a firesale?
Vari nodded, standing on their tiptoes for a moment and looking to the cash register to make sure no one was trying to check out. "The microrentals are new as of three weeks ago," they explained. "Rather than spending upwards of twelve thousand American Dollars a month, you can purchase a costume for as little as four hours for a mere one hundred dollars."
The man blinked. "Four hours? Four hours from when?"
Vari could clearly smell a sale was near. "Four hours from when you put the suit on, after a fifteen minute window," Vari explained. "You're allowed two false activations... basically allowing you to try on a suit to check the costume for upwards of fifteen minutes and then take it off again without the timer starting. You can do this twice during a fortnight after purchase. On the third application, the timer automatically starts and runs for its duration."
"I see," the man said. "Tell me—"
"—Oh, I'm terribly sorry. I see a situation brewing." Vari stood on tiptoes again and could apparently see further into the store. "Feel free to look over the other horse bodies and I shall return to you." The man reassured, Vari then turned and walked passed you and towards the front of the store where a woman with a dog was yelling loudly and disrupting the other customer's experience.
You could hear a chime noise at Vari's ear, and a small bluetooth device you hadn't noticed before was visible there. Or, perhaps, it had been hidden from view by the Charibabel spell and only now needed to have visibility. Whichever the case, there was a slight cyan-colored glow to Vari's right eye.
"Mam, I'm going to have to ask you to calm down or I'll have to ask you to leave," Vari said. Once again, you had to wonder how Vari appeared to this women who was holding a distraught Bernese Mountain Dog in her arms up off the ground. The former human appeared as a female animal was clearly struggling to get free of his mother's vice grip.
"I demand to speak with the manager! My child's become a mindless animal! I'll sue you!!!" the blonde-haired pale-skinned woman yelled.
"More Than Masks is a franchised subsidiary, and I am this store's manager," Vari explained, putting their hands on their hips.
"Turn my child back!" the woman demanded.
Vari sighed. "Mam, it's clear your son broke the rules of the spell. You'll have to refresh my memory. If you're speaking on your child's behalf, you needn't do that. If you're the guardian who signed a limited liability form then you are, instead, responsible for any rules violation."
The women grew visibly red in the face. "I will always speak for my child! He cannot speak right now because your costume turned him into a dog!"
The manager continued to speak in a calm voice, explaining to the woman her mistake: "As you didn't explain which was the case, I will assume you signed the form on your son's behalf," Vari decided. "You should be aware that all our costumes are aye-three-sea (I3C) compliant. It said so when you signed." The woman looked like she was about to asked what that was, so Vari pressed forward. "It stands for Identity Continuity and Communicatory Consistency and is the oriyokail standard for safe use of sold magical objects."
"I don't care that he's living! I want him to be human and not an animal!" she declared, hugging the dog that was her son up against her chest again.
"Ignoring for a second that you humans are animals and so your statement is redundant; what the I3C certification means is that the costume user's identity is consistent—meaning they'll always be, at their core, the person they were before—and that they can maintain communication consistency." Vari's eyes turned to look towards the dog. "Which means, kiddo, that everyone watching this embarrassing scene who is hearing my voice or ever bought a costume here before knows that you can understand and speak any languages you could before because: magic."
The woman's eyes went wide and the dog's head slowly turned to face his mother. Those dog eyes clearly having human awareness as his muzzle shut tight. She leaned in, eyes locked on the dog's. There was deep dissatisfaction and anger in the woman's voice as she made a command of a single word: "Speak."
The bitch's lips quivered. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" he declared and the voice was mostly of a young man. After the declaration the dog started struggling again.
Vari shook their head as you watched. "Don't struggle," they said. "And don't run. Every moment outside the store increases your late fee."
The woman dropped her son. "Late fee! Late fee?!"
"Yah-hu," Vari nodded, watching the dog cower behind his mom's legs. Looking the woman in the eyes. "My magitech lense has pulled up your file based on the known variables. Microrentals must be used and returned within a fortnight. This costume's fourteen hours late, and currently clocking over fifty hours of use on an eight hour rental." Vari paused. "That means it's been over forty-two hours since you should have known something was wrong. Why are you only coming in now?"
Vari looked at the dog, waiting for an answer. The Bernese peeked out from behind his mom's legs. "Does she have to be here? I'm the one who signed—"
"Signed!?" the woman roared, turning to look at Vari. "I am his mother and he is not an adult! Nothing he signed is legally binding. Take this spell off of him!"
"Mam," Vari began, their left eyebrow twitching. "The ID your son presented passed all verification and that, combined with his previously aged appearance validated him as twenty-one."
"He's seventeen!" She yelled. "The agreement is invalid because he apparently faked his age and you idiots fell for it!"
"The age of maturity for most magic use without parental oversight for humans is sixteen, mam," Vari began. "And in cases like this, the 'minor' with the fake ID is liable for both the forgery of ID and binding of the contract signed into." Vari tried to explain the situation to the mother simply. "And the penalties thereof."
"This is unacceptable!" she yelled.
"Mam, I realize you're upset but at this time, this scene has gone on for longer than long enough. As you are not bound by the contract, you're only say here is over your child as their guardian. As for the details or disputes of the contract in specific, I'll take those up with your son now."
The women fumed and was about to start yelling again. Instead, the dog at her back put one paw forward tentatively and asked: "Just me?"
Vari took a breath, noting the boy's shivering form. "Legally, I am to provide her with a copy of the contract as your guardian if she asks... but unless you or your mom is looking to get some form of police involved, she does not need to hear you and I coming to an understanding about your penalties, late fees included." Vari then looked to the mother who was pulling out her cell phone.
"I think this is a matter for the police," she agreed.
"It doesn't have to be," Vari said simply. "To be clear: legally, as a representative of More Than Masks, I am not asking you to not contact the police. I am, however, informing you that for every additional moment that passes with him outside the story your late fee will increas." Vari met her eyes. "Taking into account the non-emergency arrival, the questioning for at least an hour, how many days it takes to start the process of making a claim which is likely to exceed expedited small claims court, you will be likely looking at the maximum thirty-two day late feel accumulation, turning what is currently over one thousand American Dollars of fine into something likely approaching fifteen thousand."
The words bore into the woman's mind. She was still angry, but she understood Vari's meaning. Through all this she was indignant in her approach and saw herself as being in the right. But faced with a bill that approached the cost of a good condition used car, her jaw simply dropped.
Collecting herself, the woman simply asked: "That's not true, is it?"
"It is true, as you will discover if you go this route," Vari stated simply. "However, if I speak with your son, perhaps we can discover the reason the outfit is stuck on him, determine culpability, likely get it removed, and stop the increase in total penalties." Vari motioned to the chair near the door. "You can wait there if you so choose."
The woman huffed. "My son will not be talking contracts without me."
"That's up to him. It's a magical contract, and he's the age of maturity for magic. If he doesn't want you present for its discussion, then I can keep you away from it." The woman opened her mouth to speak, but Vari persisted. "And, again, if you wish to dispute that, call the police and we'll see how this granites out."
The Bernese Mountain Dog looked between his mother and Vari. "I don't want her here for this," the bitch said.
"OK," Vari said, looking to the woman. "Then if you're not evoking guardian privilege to call the non-magical police, you can do that."
"I won't," she said. Vari nodded, and motioned for the dog to move away from his mom. "But I won't go quietly! This is an outrage and everyone here should be aware of how you treat your customers!"
She looked at you and Vari only just seemed to notice you for the first time before the woman pointed at everyone else around her. Vari motioned for the boy to move towards the main counter, and they turned to face the mother. "I'm going to have to ask you to leave," Vari said simply.
"You can't ask me that. I'm his mother!"
"We will stay within eyesight as a courtesy, mam, but please situate yourself outside the main glass doors at the table outside," Vari said. "You are disrupting my business. Best not to test the limits of my hospitality."
The woman stepped up to Vari. Again, it's unclear what she saw Vari as due to the spell that made them appear differently to each customer. But when she put her hand forward and poked Vari in the chest, it became clear to all around that Vari was, at the least, not completely human. The woman's eyes went wide and she screamed. The acting manager grabbed her wrist and spun her so that she faced away from them.
The end of Vari's even-tempered politeness broke the Charibabel spell, but only for the woman, and whatever she saw now she didn't feel safe with. "Mam, you have just 'fucked around'," Vari said after leaning up to her ear from behind. "This is the part where you 'find out'." With that, Vari effortlessly walked the woman forward the couple dozen feet to the front entrance as she continued to struggle. Reaching around her side, Vari opened one side of the double-doors and pushed her outside.
Vari then turned on their heels and moved back into the store, apologizing to all the customers that had to witness what had happened. Outside, as the door quickly shut, anyone near the door could see the woman struggling to pull open the door and re-enter More Than Masks. But, for her at least, the door was seemingly locked. Anyone with a sense for magic themselves could tell the woman was no longer 'welcome' by one of the magic spells over the store.
Giving you an apology as well, you watched as Vari moved to the cash register for just a moment to help three people finish their transactions. "A Cerberus, for the three of you?" Vari asked as if the previous interaction simply hadn't happened. Requesting their ID's, it was clear the three were all eighteen and so no further precaution on this magical outfit was required.
The three teens all nodded their heads, glancing at each other. Placing 'One Size Fits Three' Outfit into a clothing box, Vari then slid the box into a carry-out bag. Working with the teens who pooled together cash on the countertop, the group revealed that it was cheaper for them each to share one costume for a period of time than get three of their own. Applying the time-limit on the costume with a wave of their hand, Vari thanked them and reminded them the costume still needed to be back to the store dropoff by midnight of the fourteenth day from tomorrow.
As the three moved away from the counter, Vari turned to step back over towards the boy turned bitch. They directed him up onto a set up steps so they could speak at eye-level and, you suspected, stay within eyesight of the dog's mother as she was now trapped outside on the other side of the glass doors. The woman was banging on the window, but no noise was being made. And, when the three teens opened one side of the double-doors the leave, the woman threw herself into the open space to shove her way inside.
It didn't work, of course, and the glow of cyan and pink of magic flowed across the open air of the door accompanied by a soft 'woob' noise as if she was cat who had run into a too clean window at full force. She bounced back from the empty space and the three teens all stepped around her with the door slowly swinging back into place and locking for her and her alone.
"OK kid," you heard Vari say to the dog. "I have other, legal customers to attend to, so let's cut to the chase." the dog sat down and actively swallowed hard. Vari pointed at their right eye as the iris glowed cyan. "Speak your mind, my magitech is recording this."
"Please, I'm sorry. Everything went wrong. I can't control my mom, and I did something I wasn't supposed to, and I just couldn't face her!" He was whining. "I've never been in this much trouble before! I've learned my lesson."
"You're admitting a lot of guilt," Vari said simply, then their image flickered slightly as if the spell was warning Vari more for the boy than it did the mother. Charibabel wouldn't keep working if you were gruff. You had to put in some effort for niceness, and there was no reason to lose its benefits with the son. Therefore, Vari cleared their throat and redirected the moment to maintain the spell with the boy: "What I mean to say... is you came in here with another young man, yes? You each purchased a suit intended for the other if I remember correctly."
"Yes, sir," the boy said, clearly seeing Vari as some sort of manly figure. "My boyfriend. Please don't tell my mom."
"I'm piecing together things from your files," Vari said, motioning to the lense over their eye. "They got you a Sexy Cispecific Male Humansight Feral Doberman Pinscher with their money. You got them a Horny Cispecific Female Humansight Feral Bernese Mountain Dog costume with yours, yes?" Vari asked.
"Yes. Yes, see, my mom doesn't know I'm gay... but she knows I'm in a relationship, so... I thought I could really introduce the two of them, but hide him in the suit so he'd be a girl," he explained. "I already told my mom I wanted to keep them a secret, so this was supposed to be my compromise." He sighed. "We all love dogs."
"I'm not here to judge your plan, but there's only a handful of ways that make it so you can't remove a costume, so let me skip to the end of the story: somewhere in there, you had an interaction which resulted in you each using the costumes you each purchased rather than the other person. You two had sex, locking you two into your current forms."
The boy's eyes went wide. "Sex locks us into these forms?"
"No. Not the sex." Vari shook their head, placing a hand there for just a moment. "Every suit as Keywords or Tags. Think of them like keywords in a role-play book because they're exactly the same. The tag Sexy meant that, if someone viewing you was at all possibly attracted to you, you'd be very attractive."
The boy blinked. "That explains why his dog form was even more... uh... you know... yeah." They blinked. "And I guess that 'Horny' means the same thing? He was Sexy, so I was attracted to him. He was extra sexy because Horny made him even more sexy to me?"
"Not exactly," Vari said. "Horny in this context means estrus, 'in heat' or, for a male 'in rut'." The dog stared at them blankly. "Did you not realize you were in heat?" The boy shook his head. "Well, you were. So while you weren't Sexy to him, you'd two would each—you know, it's not my place to explain the bees and the birds. You know what you did: you had sex. Also: you got pregnant."
The bitch's canine jaw dropped open.
"Next time, look for the tags Infertile or Invirile on at least one of the suits. They cost a little more, but they're built-in contraception," Vari suggested. "Oh, also, maybe consider 'Femvoice' as an Addative because you still sound like you" Vari said, motioning to the list of 'At Checkout Additives' behind them which mostly included things like alterations to eye and hair color but also mentioned fur patterns.
Vari sighed, and relented to save time. "For now, in good faith, I will put a pause on your late fee as you have returned to the store. You should speak with your boyfriend and his family and determine your next course of action."
"How will I explain?" the boy asked.
Vari smirked. "Well, considering you're both talking dogs, I think they'll get the message."
"I'm sure he's not a dog anymore. The suits were only for eight hours."
Vari shook their head. "They came in yesterday and he was still a dog." They motioned around the store with hand furthest from the dog to all the other customes. "One of the ways More Than Masks tries avoid the negative, punishment-like air around pregnancy is to make it so that if any amount of our suits are involved with the conception, everyone using them becomes locked in those forms."
The boy tilted his head sideways. "You're saying we're both in this together? Both dogs?"
"Yes. Sadly, while the age of maturity for magic is sixteen, your parents all have say in your sexual situation. There are a number of solutions to this problem, including but not limited too: human-animal hybrid forms so you can get your thumbs back, taur forms so your upper bodies can be human or humanoid, just persevering in your current dog forms, or, indeed, abortion." Vari laid out, completely indifferent to the boy's eventual choice. "But, since I know you for one purchased your suit illegally, underage, there will need to be parents involved in this by both of you"
Vari turned to look back around the store, wondering if the man from earlier had picked out a centaur or not. "I will give you until the end of your boyfriend's seventy-two hours from when his good-faith timeout started yesterday. If he's legal, then it should be you, him, and a legal parent of yours. Otherwise, all your legal guardians should be involved."
"I understand," the dog said.
"Good. Now please speak with your mom somewhere other than here," Vari requested. "I've given you—" they glanced to the side, "—fifty-six hours and then your fees will start ticking up again." They looked back and patted the boy on the head. "Good luck with your mom," Vari said. "We can work on a payment plan for whichever resolution you all determine."
The dog's eyes dropped. Vari watched their tail pull up between their legs over their swollen spade. The body language was clearer than human language to Vari. As the boy turned to walk back down the steps away from the countertop, Vari stopped them with words:
"Hey," they said and the boy looked back. "I... I take it you're concerned with your family being able to pay?" They sighed. "Many customers can't afford a sudden expense so high, so I understand... but I don't make the rules, I'm just given enough leeway to try and sooth things where I can." Vari motioned to a wooden sign carved next to the cash register which said 'employees do not make the prices and cannot negotiate'.
The dog glanced at the sign, then to Vari. "I work part-time at GameShop, so I get you," he sighed. "But if I'm stuck a dog, I won't be able to work. And didn't you say to my mom you were a manager?" Before Vari could respond, the dog blinked. "But you were just saying that because the employee on duty has to tell customers they're the manager if they're the only one there, yeah?"
Vari nodded. Vari was 'acting manager' while being the only person on the floor employed by the store... but you wouldn't tell most customers that. "Overworked—"
"—and underpaid?" smirked the dog across his black lips.
"Well..." Vari trailed off with a smile. It was their way of saying without saying that no, in fact, they made good money.
The boy's eyes went wide, and their tail wagged lightly. "You hiring? Or, let me guess, you have to get through a form on a website first and the pay is stated different there than it is during the interview?"
"Young sir," Vari said, glancing towards someone approaching the cash register. "More Than Masks is a subsidiary of a multi-realm, inter-dimensional company. We do not subscribe to purely capitalistic dystopian notions," Vari said rather nonchalantly. "Therefore, no, there is no website for application submission as all employees must be met locally from their own world and meet a unified minimum standard across all locations."
The dog tilted their head. "Meaning... If I were to be hired here it would be by you or your boss?"
"And we are unlikely to hire someone who bought magic costumes under false pretenses," Vari just had to point out to the Bernese Mountain Dog. "We shall see how your two families work things out..."
The boy sighed. "I'm sure it will end with me owing my parents money and being forced to go to the college they want and—"
"—it will be your own fault," Vari said politely. "You should be better suited to meeting the consequences of your actions." Vari took a look over the products being presented them by the person at the cash register and finalized their sale. They looked back to the boy. "You bought a magical item with a fake idea and tried to hide your true intentions from your parents concerning your boyfriend." Vari shook their head. "Imagine if he'd worn the suit you hastily bought that day and he was now the pregnant one?"
The boy looked away. "I really fucked up."
"Seems that way," Vari offered. "But if you're truly remorseful and you don't want to owe your parents, then possibly this could be settled with you working a few hours a day for a period of time as an intern or apprentice." The boy looked at them hopeful. "But if, in your head, you're thinking the penalties for customers missing a magically-enforced deadline is harsh... just think of what'll happen to bad employees."
The boy's dog head tilted the other direction. Then they simply nodded to Vari and padded the rest of the way down the stairs from the counter to the floor. "Thank you," they said and made their way towards the front door. "I'll be back."
Vari put their index and middle fingers from their left hand to the side of their head and motioned forward towards the dog, before slipping away back to the centaur-interested man from earlier. You couldn't help but follow Vari as they moved. Just before they returned to the 'Taurs' section, an older man stepped in front of Vari.
"Excuse me, but I've been waiting for your help."
Vari blinked, stopping suddenly. "Did you flag me down?"
"No."
"Did you wave your hands at me, call my name, give me any indication that you were waiting on me to respond to you?"
The heavyset man with a thick beard put his hands on his hips, casually revealing a gun a holster at his side. "No, missy, I did not. You should know when a man demands your attention." Vari looked at the gun, smiled, then looked up at the man. "Now listen here. I've been waiting on a background check for one of your costumes for two weeks. Background checks don't take that long."
"Ah," Vari nodded to themselves. "So, you're under the misunderstanding that our background checks take as long as, say, an American gun background check?" Vari asked. "However, still, you did not pass," Vari said. Their right eye lit up again and they referenced some of what their magitech said aloud: "Your contact information indicates you were called about this two days ago by telephone—"
"I don't answer unknown numbers," the gruff man said.
"Which is fine in this case because you came to check in person and I am telling you that, of the thirteen types of Classic Werewolf Costume this store sells, you qualify for none of them," Vari said with a smile. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I must attend to another—"
"Now hold on there! Why!?" he demanded to know.
"Why? Why were you not approved? Sir, I do not wish to air your dirty laundry with so many onlookers," Vari expression with a tone of regret.
"I don't give a shit what you want! If I qualify for a gun, I qualify for a stupid costume!"
"Sir, as you are likely aware: our costumes can be more deadly than guns," Vari stated simply as whatever small woman this man was currently seeing them as. "All our 'Classic Werewolf' line are infectious, though sire-tied. That means that they function as werewolves that if you bit someone, swapped fluids with someone, if they drank the dew from your pawprint—etcetera—you could turn them into a werewolf like you. Though, as soon as the original sire dies—in this case, the costume comes off—then so long as the curse has not been modified by other spells, it comes to an end."
Vari went on: "This doesn't include the built-in, bone-crushing bite, immense strength, potential magical aptitude from such as a Ruby Red, nor the razor-sharp claws of most varieties." Vari paused, watching the man unfazed. "Furthermore, even if you activate it when that Were's moonphase isn't active, there's generally still heightened senses, speed, strength, and regeneration... things that could be dangerous for a lot of people in a period of less than four hours."
The man narrowed his eyes. "What is it you're implying?"
Putting their hands on their hips, Vari laid it all out: "Sir, with a background history such as yours, you have a greater likelihood of violence towards someone you care about in addition to the general disregard for the safety of others," Vari explained. "And while anyone you hurt while under the influence of your costume would not be the fault of More Than Masks or its parent company, just as it wouldn't be with a gun seller... that's only if you passed a background check which indicated you were clear of mind first which, again, you did not."
"You're telling me that your costumes require a stricter verification than my work?" the bearded man asked. "G'head. With what you think you found, what disqualifies me?" The man narrowed his eyes. "And you best be thinkin' real careful 'bout what yussay next."
Vari frowned, not the least bit intimidated by the man or his gun. "Four DUI's, six calls of domestic abuse, two wives waiting on alimony for several months, and two legal killings of unarmed civilians."
Vari was reminded of the woman who's son was a bitch just a few minutes ago as the bald man's face grew red. "How dare you! I have served this community—" but Vari cut him off.
"My American customers did not need me to say you were a police officer, but thank you for making that clear," Vari offered, watching the man's body language. "Let me further make clear: there are plenty of suits here not locked behind glass display cases that don't need background checks and though we do not have a police discount, we still offer service with a smile," Vari said, adding the smile after the fact.
"No discount?" a young man nearby asked, breaking the heavy mood. He had on baggy cargo pants and was fairly well built for a human.
Vari glanced briefly to the side. "We have discounts for firefighters, military vets, teachers and librarians, and—of course—repeat customers in good standing."
When Vari had said 'firefighters' the young man had smiled and ducked his head back into his isle from over the top of the shelves. Vari watched the bearded, bald man in front of them. "Let me see your badge or I'm going to have to ask you to leave. No non-costume weapons are allowed in this store. There will be magical repercussions if you threaten me or another customer with it while here."
The man pulled out his badge from an inner jacket pocket and flipped it open for Vari to see. "There," he said. "But I won't be buyin' anything here nor will any of my precinct."
Vari put their arms wide while standing in one of the main paths, motioning towards the whole store. "Do I look like we need more customers?" the only employee in the building remarked exasperated. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to finish helping someone... and keep the gun holstered or the protection spells keeping all the customers in here safe from each other will see you as the threat I currently don't..."
The man narrowed his eyes. "Meaning?"
"Sir. I should not have to explain that a man standing on magical ground, inside a magical building, protected by magical spells, is not bound by regular policing or common law but instead magical policing and magical law," Vari explained. "You might be detained in binding or be transformed into something humiliating. If you want the specifics, I advise you to call customer service as I do not myself know in specific detail all the spells protecting More Than Masks... but I do know what will set them off, so don't unholster that gun."
"I'mma keep my eye on you."
Vari rolled their eyes while looking away from the cop and towards the man from earlier. "Careful, sir, that could be construed as a threat," was all Vari cared to say on the matter, leaving the man to his own devices. He huffed and turned, seemingly moving to another section rather than just outright leaving. He brushed shoulders with you and didn't apologize.
"Rough day?" the original man standing among the centaur outfits asked.
Vari chuckled and shook their head. "I get paid a minimum hourly and a little by commission, so... I mean, it could be worse," they revealed. Vari took a breath and ran a hand over their head, probably through their actual hair. "Forgive me, but I've forgotten what we were in the middle of talking about before I was pulled away."
"Well, I was going to ask you about Sex Duality, but I figured out that means both male and female attributes." Vari nodded. "Intersexed means a combination of either the those two sexes." Vari kept nodding. "But, while I get that Sexless must mean... you know, doll-like, how, uh... how do you go to the bathroom?"
Allowing themselves a hearty chuckle, Vari grinned. "Ah, yes, well, many costumes—mostly the cartoony ones—are listed as Sexless. But fear not. While you can still eat and get full, sexless lacks any waste exits such as urethra or anus, and allows you to walk around sans clothing if you so choose." Vari added: "Also, no nipples... and generally androgynous. As for the how, well: magic."
The man smirked, but pressed on: "Someone walking through said there's Feminine or Masculine Sexless... so those just have the general body shape?"
"Correct. Feminine Sexless will have breasts lumps and a generally feminine body shape. Masculine, you can assume a generally male-accepted shape but also commonly a crotch-bulge," Vari explained, and added a bit: "Again, these are common for your hand-drawn-style costumes but also the stuffing-filled plush and air-filled balloon or pool-toy costumes... oh! and Synths, just to name a few."
The man blinked. "What's a Synth? You mean synthetic? Like a robot?"
Vari smiled and nodded to the man in a pleasing manner. "Something like that... would you like to see? We don't have a lot of name-branding due to copyright issues, but Synths like Protogens are an Open Species, meaning we can utilize them as costume bases without infringing. We may also have some Chakats and Sexarlupian, as I'm fairly sure those are Open enough."
"And knockoff brands like Katchitmon, yeah?"
Vari blinked, then rubbed the back of their neck. "Well, see, Katchitmon are not a real thing in this universe... so, we can sell ones that are those not because they aren't copyright but because their copyright doesn't extend beyond the boundaries from a universe in which they are." They gave a slight nervous chuckle. "Like the Sunrise and Moonrise Motors. That are real machine brands, just not here on this planet, so legally we can use them."
The man stared at Vari for a moment which clearly made Vari a bit nervous and interested in changing the topic. Talking about the edges of copyright and trademark law wasn't really their thing. For a moment, their eyes wandered to the wolftaurs, tigertaurs, deertaurs, kangarootaurs, squirreltaurs suits that mades up only a few of the taur costumes in the section. Shaking their head, they looked back to the man.
"Sorry. Sidetracked. Tell me, do you know what type of fitting you're looking for?"
The man shook his head, coming back to the conversation: "By that you mean the ones with or without human torso? Or, how some are One Size Fits One versus Fits Two? Does that mean that some taur suits can be worn by more than one person?"
"Yes, yes. The ones without the 'upper torso' only transform you from the waist down to the body of an animal, in this case a horse," Vari explained, happy to get back to a fun topic. "A One Size Fits One just basically inflates up to the right size which, obviously, requires a little making of matter from nothing. A One Size Fits Two requires a second person to take up the rear legs and lower torso area... in a Gender Neutral configuration, this will result in both participants remaining with their sexual and gender identities, though the suit will produce animal sex based on the rear-occupant's own equipment."
The man blinked. "The front person won't have genitals, I take it?"
"You could, but as that is non-standard for most taurs, that would be extra. You'd be looking for the additions at checkout. Sex Duality is both sexes in one place. Double Sex doubles the organs for the rear. But to have sexes at front and back, you'd be looking for 'Front' and 'Back' additions with relevant tags: 'Front Cispecific; Back Double Sex' for example."
The man chuckled. "Wow. You have so many options," he said. "OK. Well, I think I know what I'm looking for, but..." he motioned to an old woman who was standing nearby. "She's been waiting patiently for a hot second. I'll gather up the costumes I'm looking for and see you at the register, Vari?"
Vari smiled wide. "Sounds like a plan," they offered, patting the man on the back before turning and looking to the woman who was standing with a walker around the front of her legs. "How may I help you, miss?"
"I don't know what I'd be looking for," she offered as a thought, her voice a little raspy. "Forgive me... I'm looking for help with my legs," she motioned down her front behind the walker. "I have a little nest-egg, but I didn't want to do something permanent without trying it first."
"Hm," Vari considered, rubbing under their chin. "Well, you're in the centaur section, that certainly applies. Though you may not like the amount of space you take up nor their quadruped nature."
"Exactly," the woman agreed. "What might you suggest, then? I'd rather not lose my face, but many of your costumes seem to be full-body."
"Have you considered Satyr?" Vari asked.
"So I can be called and 'old goat'? No thank you."
"Miss. Our Satyr Costumes come in more variety than goat. We have just about all mammals, a number of reptiles, birds, and many others," Vari explained.
The woman's eyes lit up. "I didn't realize those were options. I supposed that explains why that section is so large," she considered. "I don't suppose... no, it would be silly to ask."
"All questions are welcome here, miss, and no questions are too silly. Transformations are supposed to be fun or occasionally utilitarian, but ultimately you'll have a better experience the more details you're willing to part with for what you want."
"My husband was a fisherman," she explained. "Would call me his siren as I lured him away from the waves," the woman said. "My voicebox was punctured in a car wreck many years ago, so I haven't been able to sing for him since."
Vari nodded. "A full siren transformation would make your arms as wings like a harpy," the More Than Masks employee explained. "Not sure if you're down for the full arm transformation... but we do sell voice alterations as add-ons..." Vari glanced around the store, then put one hand as a fist into their other hand and looked back to the woman. "We do have mermaid outfits...? You could keep your hands then... your whole upper body, in fact."
"You just point me in the right directions and I can see to them on my own," offered the woman. "You help that nice man with his centaur." She smiled and so did Vari, and you had to wonder what the old woman might be seeing them as. You had to keep reminding yourself that Vari's appearance to other people depended on who they were talking to.
Vari motioned passed you and towards the Satyr section, then noted the mermaids and siren outfits were near to them because they were somewhat similar in build. It sounded like Vari had certainly been working here long enough to be able to know the ins and out of where everything was.
Feeling it was time to speak-up, you almost got Vari's attention for a question when a little girl ran up to them followed by her brother. The two of them had animal ears instead of human ones... lioness for the sister and brownbear for the brother. "Miss, Miss! Please help! We're stuck?"
Vari knelt down in front of the two. "I hope you're here with a parent," they said as an opener. "Let me guess... you put on those animal-ear headbands and lost your ears?" Vari asked. They both nodded, the boy wiping tears from his eyes. "Magic can be dangerous, but not usually in this store," Vari said, reaching out to wipe away some of the tears from the boy's face. "All you do to remove a costume is reach for where you know the seam is and think about pulling it off while doing so," Vari explained. "That way only you can put it on or take it off..."
"But, but—" the boy began. "What if someone put a costume on you while you were asleep!?"
Vari blinked at the boy. "Well, you're wearing it, not them, so while you might then not know where the seams are, so long as you knew you were wearing a costume enough to know to take it off, you'd just have to keep trying everywhere to take it off until you found it a seam" Vari paused. "And, if that didn't work, you can always call or find your way to this store and I'd try to help you."
The little girl piped up. "But what if you're at grandma's or on vacation?" Vari raised an eyebrow. "Just, you know... wondering."
Vari squinted at the two kids. "These are oddly specific question... should I assume you're here with an older brother or sister as opposed to a parent?" The girl looked to the brother and then quickly took off her feline ears and handed them to Vari. They were just a golden hairband with the ears atop them. Pivoting in place, the girl turned and ran across the store.
The boy looked to Vari. "But anyone can put on or take off a costume even if they didn't put it on?"
"In this store, anyone can put on a costume for any amount of time... that's what changing rooms are for," Vari revealed to the little boy. "Outside of here, once the timer begins, that's as much time as you have to wear the outfit before it naturally falls off of you unless something else causes it to stay on. Breaking one of the rules of the suit, splitting it up, or perhaps damaging it with other magic." Vari leaned in. "Big brother or sister?"
"Brother," he said softly, one bear ear shifting to listen behind him as he spoke. He put a hand to the side of his head. "If... if my brother tried to cut up a suit or rip it so it was broken, what would happen?"
Vari frowned, not sure if the little kid caught that he'd said brother twice, thus revealing a possible prank in the making. But, the child was probably bribed with money or something, so Vari wasn't thinking they were malicious themselves. If nothing else, someone might overhear these important caveats.
"Minor cuts and holes won't stop a suit from fully-forming around you. Extensive damage most often would cause it to not work at all but might cause it to work in an unusual way," Vari revealed. "You can custom order a Chimera Costume of your choosing as trying to chop up a costume to make your own may have... untold effects, assuming it worked at all."
The boy stared at Vari, who reached out and took the boy's hand. "Let's go find you brother," Vari offered as they stood up. A moment later, a college-age young man quickly arrived, whisking away his two young siblings. He quickly began to make his way to the door.
"Sir," Vari said, and he didn't stop at first. "Sir!" Vari called after him, and he looked over his shoulder, appearing to look innocent. "You're profile has been recorded. Understand that if your intention is to prank with these costumes, that I have a record of this interaction," they said, motioning to the cyan color of their right eye. "You, not the store, will be culpable."
The young man didn't say anything, instead ushering the two children out of the store and passed the woman who was apparently still arguing with her dog child. Vari frowned. They looked at you and smirked. "What a day."
"Excuse me," you spoke up. You're details have been purposefully vague so that anyone could fill your shoes in a third or first-person narrative. Still, it's time to get on with the story, and thus you appear polite: "I see you're very busy, but..."
"All part of the job," Vari shrugged. "What can I do for you?"