Veronica was very pissed about Miss Grievie using her Chronivac to turn Veronica from a boy with a pussy to a girl with a dick. But the old Chronivac had apparently not fried as badly as it had appeared; it had just been messed up by attempts to interface it with more modern software.
Whatever. She'd found the latest Chronivac upgrades at Crack's R Us along with the latest patches, mods and upgrades. The Chronivac whirred to life, and instead of putting out a demure spreadsheet like Miss Grievie's battered laptop version, instead suddenly fired up with full color screen, onto which galloped a Lady Godiva figure wearing nothing but an English riding cap. "Tallyho! I'm Crack Ho! Thank you for downloading our cracks for the Chronivac! We've replaced all those messy menus with an intuitive filter, giving you what you really want without all the trouble." She put her fingers to her digitized temples, then blinked. "Interpreting desires. Loading Duke Nukem and Lara Croft templates, with modified Ranma protocol. Enjoy. Control words are 'pussy' and 'cock'." Images of a cat and a rooster flashed across the screen, and Veronica found herself transformed from a live-action Angelina Jolie-type Lara, but with cartoonlike breasts, to a hulking blond man with a blond buzzcut and ridiculous muscles.
Ack! This wasn't what Ron wanted!
"Dad!" he screamed and a minute later both his dads came downstairs.
"Analyzing desires," said the Crack Ho interface. "Loading Tom of Finland template."
Suddenly, both of Ron's dads turned into ridiculous cartoon musclemen with seventies gay-cop hairstyles. Tyler still wore his in that, but now the rest of them matched.
Then Ron's brother Roger walked into the room, and the Crack Ho interface set her sights on him.