Why is it not enough
To be fine?
Curtis walked to the beat of the song pounding in his ears. Despite their increased sensitivity he continued to listen to his music at a high volume--music was meant to be experienced. He was still riding the high of his second Introduction to Music Theory class. Of course he'd aced the rhythm and notes quizzes (and why wouldn't he? His dad had taught him everything as a pup) and therefore had time to further play with the music software while the rest of the class finished. The patterns and chord progressions were still pretty basic, but the experimentation and possibility excited him. He had even saved a couple of choice music sketches with the full intention to revisit them later once he had more time.
The lecture portion of class had been likewise fascinating as they touched on scales, chords, and keys. The way C Major and A Minor could be so similar and yet entirely different despite sharing the same seven notes? Textures, moods, feeling! He fully intended to read ahead in his textbook along with some supplemental videos. Curtis was ravenous for more information. It was hard not to be impatient at the prospect of more, and only three classes a week was going to be agonizing.
And yet, his experience earlier that morning still sat at the edge of his thoughts--a black hole of concern constantly threatening to pull him back to the ground. He wished Ollie weren't working so he'd have someone to talk to, but at the same time his boyfriend seemed pretty opaque about the whole memories situation. The sheep barely spoke about his parents and Curtis hated how difficult Ollie was to read at times despite his ever-present smile. Were the other guys having similar experiences? He felt more comfortable talking with them than his RAs--maybe he'd have to ask Milo. The boar was so approachable and open, and at this point he'd seen him naked so why not be open about what was going on?
It was strange to miss parents he'd likely never met. It was strange to miss parents at all--they'd always been so emotionally distant from him. But this felt different. And why was music suddenly such a viable way for him to process his life? It had never felt this personal before. His walking slowed as the beat of his music left him behind. He sighed and took off his headphones.
You're overthinking, in a rut
Curtis continued up the stairs past his floor and headed towards Milo's room. He stopped, however, as Dare came out. "Oh, hey Dare! Is Milo in there?" His nose picked up the strong scent of boar, but it was coming from Dare. He couldn't help but grin--so they were together, or at least close enough to rub off on each other. It wasn't like it was a surprise with the way they constantly stared at each other.
"No, sorry," Dare said succinctly. The skunk was also hard to read. "He's staying with his brother for a bit."
Curtis blinked. "Brother? I didn't realize he had a brother."
Dare rolled his eyes and shrugged, "Apparently he does now. It's a new thing."
There it was. Curtis couldn't help himself. "Oh my god, so it's not just me. I thought I was going crazy."
"You too, huh? Seems to be going around." He described it almost like an illness. Dare didn't look to be in the best mood as he locked his door and started down the hall. Curtis couldn't help but follow curiously.
"Actually, that's what I wanted to talk about. Where are you headed? Mind if I tag along?" Curtis was hopeful but unsure. He and Dare had been around each other a lot recently but the skunk was prickly and they were always in a group. But with everything going on Curtis couldn't help but relate to the guy. Who even knew what was going on with him?
Dare stopped and rolled his eyes. "Yeah, if you want. I don't know that I'm going to be the best company though. I'm going to go drink Strawberry Milkshakes until I feel better or barf, whichever comes first."
Curtis laughed. Despite the tough exterior, Dare always had a great sense of humor. And he had offered to help Ollie with his studies. He wanted to help, too. "Perfect. Strawberry's my favorite."
-
"...I don't remember texting any of this. But I do. It's like I had a completely different life. And I know it's not real but it feels so real." Curtis took another sip of his milkshake as he passed his phone over to Dare, who scrolled quickly through the conversation.
"Have you tried calling them yet? Or have they called you?" Dare asked as he waited for his second milkshake to arrive.
Curtis shook his head. "I started to call my 'mom' but chickened out and hung up. I felt guilty though and sent a stupid excuse." He pointed. "What the fuck though, right? Why am I feeling guilty for not calling? I never call my mom."
Dare sighed, "I know. It's fucked, honestly. They should have given us more warning. I didn't come to college to get a new life. Hell, I didn't even plan to get a degree." He shook his head. "But everything is just working out. It's like the opposite of that movie where all of the teenagers die in ridiculous ways, but twee. Well, almost everything..." The skunk trailed off and reached for his empty glass, pulling on the straw to distract himself.
"You didn't want to graduate? Aren't you an Education Major?" Curtis hoped the change of topic would help.
"No. Yeah? I don't know. Like I said, it's weird. But I remember the rush I got helping my little brother study. I don't know." Dare drummed his claws on the table. "Ah, thank you!" The feline waiter brought over his new milkshake and he pulled it towards him. "Actually, could I get two more in the works now?" Curtis held up a finger. "Make that three? Thanks."
"Yanno...Music is the last thing I thought I'd be doing in college," Curtis laughed. "I was going to do something completely different, actually."
"Seriously? Aren't you like a prodigy or something?"
"Not even. I mean, my dad's a professional drummer but..." He blinked. "No. My dad's a banker. Sorry."
The way he sat on his dad's lap as a pup with his older brother standing next to them excitedly as the German Shepherd patiently demonstrated how to hold drumsticks. His brother Alan looked just like his dad while Curtis took after his mother, with her black, white, and tan fur...
Dare grinned, "Honestly it's kind of funny to see that happen to someone else. I've done it so many times and it's been a little embarrassing. Not that you need to worry at all. Have you had any other memories? Like school or...?" He looked genuinely interested now.
"Uhh..." Curtis thought as he finished his milkshake. "Oh, actually. I don't know if this is what you mean, but I can't stop thinking about the lyrics I keep hearing in the music I've been listening to. But it's not like the songs are stuck in my head? It's different. Hard to explain. But it's like I'm processing things. I never did that before."
"You're fucking weird, Dog." Dare smirked and winked. "I don't know what's up with that."
Curtis chuckled and scratched the fur on the back of his neck. "Well, this whole thing has been weird. I just...I'm worried that I'll change so much that I don't recognize myself. Or that I won't be me anymore. Does that make sense?"
And terrified
Of giving in to who you are
And losing your mind
Dare nodded. "That scares me too. I don't know what to do about it though. I wish I did. We didn't get a choice."
"If you did, would you go home? Right now?"
You wanna run 'til you run out of light
But why?
The skunk took a while to respond. "I don't know. I don't think so. Ask me again tomorrow. And the next day after that."
"We could check in on each other if you want. Just to stay sane." Curtis gestured with his phone.
Afraid to look inside yourself
Afraid you'll find
"Sure, if you want."
"Hey Dare?"
"Yeah?"
"Thanks."
"Mmhmm."
-
Curtis and Dare walked past the Great Lawn as they headed back to their dorms. They were both completely full of milkshakes and had tapped out earlier than planned. Their burping contest was cut short as Dare let out a particularly wet belch that turned into a gag. Curtis nearly fell over laughing. He felt much better after spending some time with the skunk.
Ollie wasn't scheduled to be off work for another couple of hours so Curtis figured he'd get a head start on some of his homework. Plus he wanted to try fleshing out some more of the sketches he'd started. He had an idea he wanted to try--maybe he could write a song for Ollie. Honestly he had no idea where to even start but he--
"HEY WATCH OUT!" Suddenly a frisbee was flying directly at him and Curtis acted on instinct. Before he knew it he had the frisbee in his mouth. He looked at Dare in utter shock as the skunk began to laugh his ass off.
Red hot embarrassment flashed across his face as he awkwardly pulled the frisbee out of his mouth. "Sorry, I..."
"Hey! That was an amazing catch!" A Labrador Retriever with tannish yellow fur jogged up to them.
Curtis held out the frisbee. "Thanks. I kind of did it without thinking. Sorry about the slobber."
"Yo, catching it in your mouth is extra points. Haven't you ever played Ultimate Frisbee?" He said it as though it were obvious.
"Not really. Maybe just a little frisbee tossing here and there." Curtis shrugged and shook the frisbee, willing the other dog to take it.
"I'm Jackson by the way. Hey, do you want to play? You're both welcome to join." He grinned as his tail wagged.
Dare shook his head. "Sorry, I've got homework."
"Same. Thanks though. Have fun!" He stepped forward to hand over the frisbee. Jackson looked a little disappointed but ran back to the group of dogs that were watching the conversation a ways off.
They continued on their way but Curtis stopped. "Hey Dare, actually you go on without me. Is that OK?"
"Are you going to go be a dumb dog?" Dare winked.
Curtis laughed and wagged his tail. "Yeah, I think I am. It sounds fun. I'll text you later, K?"
Dare waved and walked off as Curtis jogged over to the dogs. He set his backpack with the others and waved as he approached. He could always finish his homework later. He had plenty of time.
Time is on your side (are you ready? Are you ready? Are you ready? Are you ready?)
Time is on your side (are you ready? Are you ready? Are you ready? Are you ready?)
Time is on (are you ready? Are you ready? Are you ready? Are you ready?)