Curtis felt numb as he stared out the window. He realized that he'd never really taken the time to take in the view from his dorm, which looked out towards the Great Lawn and was framed by weeping willows--their leaves were just starting to change color. Anthropomorphic students wandered the walkways--chatting, holding hands, living their lives. In his brief time at CVU, he hadn't taken the opportunity to consider how beautiful it all was. He'd been swept up in the maelstrom of change and hadn't allowed himself to stop and smell the proverbial flowers. And now he'd never have the chance.
I realize the time that I wasted here
Though could he really be blamed? Everything had come so hard and so fast. His life was completely different from but a week ago. Certainly he would be forgiven for his folly? Hopefully he could forgive himself for giving it up. And of course he had good reason. When you meet someone so fucking perfect for you that rips you out of your bullshit and just...makes things make sense? That was Ollie. His Olls. He'd go to the ends of the Earth, or whatever they called it on this side, for him. In many ways his boyfriend had saved him from himself. If only Curtis could have done the same for Ollie? If only they had another option.
But if this was what it took, then so be it.
He dropped his head into his paws for a moment before standing from the bed. He needed to pack and he was running out of time. Thank God Shro wasn't around, or the whole process would have seemed even more impossible than it already was. They'd grown quite close in their short time together, and he'd miss the cat's antics. It took all of his focus to finish packing. He started to pull his most precious possessions into a pile on his bed next to his suitcase and backpack but stopped when he heard a knock at the door.
Assuming it was one of Shro's many 'customers' he rolled his eyes and grinned to himself as he opened the door, but his tail dropped as he saw Todd's worried face peering back at him.
Fuck.
"C-Curtis, what's g-going on?" Todd asked quickly before the dog could shut the door again.
Curtis tried his best to play dumb, "What do you mean?"
The wolf raised an eyebrow, "D-dude. Come on. I know s-something's up. You might be able to f-fool everyone else, but n-not me." He frowned in a distinctly canine way.
"...Fine." Curtis had a hard time meeting the wolf in the eyes as he let him in. They sat on the bed next to his suitcase. No sense beating around the bush. "Ollie and I are leaving." The admission took the wind out of his lungs. He'd finally said it aloud.
Whatever Todd had expected, it clearly wasn't that. "What the f-fuck, Curt? Where are you g-going?"
"Back." Curtis felt his eyes begin to water, but he was determined to keep it together. He had to. He didn't have a choice anymore. "We're going home."
The wolf's bright eyes narrowed as his ears flattened. "You're l-leaving the University?"
"Ollie says there's a crossing point in Utah. We're going to try our luck. We're going back." Why were the words so sour on his tongue?
"...Oh. Why?"
Curtis shrugged. He didn't fully understand it himself. "Ollie needs to. And I need him."
The two sat in silence for a moment, and Curtis was grateful and relieved that Todd didn't press him.
"I'm g-going to miss you. B-both of you," Todd sniffled.
Curtis pulled the wolf into a hug and when they separated he wasn't sure if it was his tears or Todd's that dampened his fur. They stood and walked to the door. Todd leaned against the doorframe and looked conflicted. He looked like he wanted to say something, but then stopped himself. Then he finally said it, without his usual stutter. "Don't leave. You should stay, Curtis."
"Don't. Please Todd. This is already hard enough. Just...take care of yourself, OK?"
Todd nodded slowly. "G-goodbye, Curtis. I hope you and Ollie f-find what you're l-looking for."
"Thanks, Todd. Give Sam a hug for me, OK? And make sure Dare doesn't kill Milo." He tried to smile.
-
Curtis wheeled his suitcase behind him as he walked with Ollie. They held hands as they approached the bus station and his sheep was the only thing giving him strength to continue forward. Each step felt impossible and oppressive, as though they were approaching their very doom. The faces of his family and friends flashed in his mind, all looking sad and disappointed in him. His mother, Mara, who looked just like him and had celebrated by making his favorite meal when he'd gotten his acceptance letter. His father, Alan Sr., who'd bragged to all of his friends that his son was going to follow in his pawprints and study music. His older brother, Alan Jr., who'd just graduated and stayed up all night to give him pointers and tips on university life before he left. His little sisters Cassia and Mazie who were so proud of their big brother. Shro, Linus, Dare, Milo, Sam, Todd. There wasn't a human among them. Could he really do this?
"Come on, Pup. We're almost there." Ollie smiled at him and Curtis didn't realize he'd stopped moving. "You can do this." There was pain behind the sheep's beautiful eyes and he looked worried. He clearly knew what he was asking Curtis to do, and his guilt was apparent.
He considered the sheep. How had it only been a week since they'd met? And yet Ollie was his whole world. He couldn't fathom the possibility of not being with him. How would he ever survive?
When I'm away from you, I miss your touch (ooh-ooh)
You're the reason I believe in love
It's been difficult for me to trust (ooh-ooh)
And I'm afraid that I'ma fuck it up
But what was he doing? Was he really about to give up everything? How could he go through this? Should he go through with this and give up everything?
No.
He was a dog and this is where he was meant to be.
Curtis pulled Ollie into a deep kiss as he wrapped his arms around him in a tight embrace. He was forceful and determined and the sheep melted into the display of affection despite his insistence to keep moving. When they broke apart, Curtis looked Ollie directly in his square eyes.
"Ollie. This is a mistake. Not just for me but for you as well. We shouldn't go."
I do the same thing I told you that I never would
I told you I'd change, even when I knew I never could
Ollie looked like he'd been stabbed in the heart, "Curt. I told you. I can't stay. What about my family?"
"What about your family here? What about mine? What about me?"
Know that I can't find nobody else as good as you
Ollie shook his head, "Curtis, please. Don't do this. We're so close. I already bought the tickets."
"Olls. If you go I can't go with you. I finally found myself here. I wasn't happy before, but I can be now. And I know you can, too."
I need you to stay, need you to stay, hey
Tears streamed down both of their faces as the bus pulled up. Ollie looked like he wanted to die.
I need you to stay, need you to stay, hey
"Puppy, please...?"
Curtis couldn't look Ollie in the eyes as he shook his head. "I'm so sorry, Ollie."
Ollie began to sob as he turned towards the bus. It broke Curtis' heart into a million pieces but he stood fast. He watched his sheep rush forward to board the bus before the door closed. The sheep stared at him through the window as the bus pulled away and Curtis collapsed to the ground with a howl of despair.
Oh-oh-oh
I need you to stay, need you to stay, hey