"Hey honey! I thought you'd never call!" Curtis' mother's beautiful voice made him begin to sob all over again as he sat on the bench by the bus station. "Oh, Puppy. What's the matter?"
"Hi Mom...I...I think I fucked up. And I don't know what to do." He choked out the words between his tears.
"Are you OK? What happened?" His mom sounded concerned and he wished she were there to give him a hug and rub her claws down his back like when he was little. It always made him feel better and he needed it now more than ever.
"I'm OK. I just...I just lost someone really important to me and I don't know what to do." He sniffled and wiped his nose on his arm.
"What do you mean lost?"
"Well, he wanted me to do something I couldn't. Or, well, he wanted me to be someone I'm not anymore."
"I don't know what that means. Are you talking about a friend?"
Curtis whimpered, "More than a friend..."
"Oh, Curtis. You poor thing. What happened?" She was in full Mom mode, though Curtis had never talked to her about relationship stuff before.
The whole thing was too hard to explain and he didn't have the heart to tell his mom he'd even considered almost leaving her and his family. "I think we broke up."
"You think? Or you know?"
"I don't know, Mom. I really don't. All I know is that I can't stop crying. I thought I loved him..." Of course his mom knew he was gay. She hadn't been surprised when he'd come out right after High School. But Moms always know.
"I'm so sorry, Puppy. Relationships can be really hard, but if you actually broke up I think you'd know, right? And if you did then he just wasn't the one for you. I know it hurts but I promise you'll start to feel better really soon. This feeling won't last forever." Her words helped with the sting, but Curtis' heart still ached.
"Then why does it feel like it will?" Curtis couldn't imagine ever feeling better without his sheep.
"Because you have a big heart, Curtis. I promise you'll feel better soon. Get yourself some snacks and listen to some music. Can you go and hang out with the friends you've told me about?"
"Yeah."
"That will help, too. You're not alone. And when it hurts too much I'm just a call away, OK?"
"Thanks, Mom."
"I love you, Curtis."
"I love you, too."
Curtis stared at his phone after he hung up. He didn't feel better, but at least he wasn't crying as much. Perhaps his mom was right. He hoped she was. For now he needed to get away from this fucking bus station before he started crying again.
Don't you know I'm no good for you?
I've learned to lose you, can't afford to
Tore my shirt to stop you bleedin'
But nothin' ever stops you leavin'
He stood and pulled his backpack on before taking hold of his suitcase and started back towards the dorms. The sun was beginning to set. He hadn't eaten dinner but didn't feel hungry at all. All he wanted was his sheep. He missed Ollie. The sheep's face was burned into his memory and he felt guilty. He wanted a hug. From Ollie. Fuck. When would he start to feel better? This was the worst. He'd give anything to stop feeling this way, or at all.
But nothin' is better sometimes
Once we've both said our goodbyes
How would he ever get over Ollie? Would that be possible? Did he even want to? No. Yes. No. Yes.
No.
Let's just let it go
Let me let you go
Curtis was mildly surprised to find himself standing in front of the door to Ollie's dorm. He sighed and let himself in and looked around in the dark, quiet room. The bed creaked lightly as he flopped on it and pulled the pillow into his arms. It still smelled like his sheep and he buried his nose into it as the tears began to flow again.
He could only imagine how Ollie felt. The sound the sheep had made as he cried haunted him. He'd caused that sound to happen. But now it was so quiet here without him. No more grinning, bleating Ollie.
Quiet when I'm comin' home and I'm on my own
Maybe this was for the best? Maybe Ollie would finally be happy, even without him.
I could lie, say I like it like that, like it like that
I could lie, say I like it like that, like it like that
-
Curtis jumped up from the bed when he heard a knock at the door. Could it be? Did he come back? No, impossible...right? He'd just let himself in anyway. Still, he couldn't help but hope as he opened the door.
Milo and Dare stood in the hall. The boar gave him an empathetic look while the skunk looked confused. "He texted me. Wanted me to check on you." Milo pulled Curtis into a hug without asking and Dare joined in after a moment. "Come on. Todd and Sam are grabbing us food and Shro's on his way back. Everything's going to be OK."