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Mad Science

Essence of Redneck

Well, since this lady liked beer so much, maybe she'd enjoy being booze herself, Roy thought. Chuckling to himself, he went over to the fridge and pulled out a big box of cheap beer-24 cans, to be exact. Setting the box on the kitchen floor, Roy zapped it with the device.

In an instant, the familiar logo on the box changed. It now depicted the redneck woman from outside, but drawn in a pin-up style. She held two mugs of beer in her hands, smiling brightly with a cigarette hanging out of her mouth. The brand name had changed to "Ester's Essence." Opening the box, Roy pulled out a can and saw that it had the same design. Experimentally, Roy pulled the tab, and the scent of cigarette smoke came rushing out. "Crazy..." Roy muttered to himself. But this reminded him of the woman outside. What happened to her?

Roy looked out the window, and immediately tried to stifle a laugh. The woman was now made of beer cans. Her legs were simply stacks of cans, while her torso was a small pallet, all stuck together somehow. In her can-hands, she held her cigarette and phone, while her head, now square like a robot, looked at the screen idly. She still wore the same clothes, and her face still had makeup on it.

"Wild," Roy said to himself. He should definitely swap her back, right? There was no way he could leave her as some beer can robot. On the other hand, she didn't seem to notice, so he couldn't really say he did her any harm. And besides, he did have an open can of beer right in front of him, and he was getting curious as to what she tasted like...


What do you do now?


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