Penny and you were given backstage seats as Dr. Terrific's new live show began. Dr. Terrific stood on stage, her Superhero Custom-O-Matic hidden under a curtain, and there was a table on the stage as well with something hidden under a sheet. "Greetings, convention newcomers!! I am Dr. Terrific of the Terrific 4!! Now, behold... ZUCCHINI!!" She uncovers the contents of the table, filled with what at first look like regular old zucchini, before they suddenly spring to life, flew over, and somehow telekinetically lifted the curtain over the Custom-O-Matic. They then all seemed to joyfully cheer and you swore you heard one scream, "Finally!!" before they all exploded violently in zucchini guts and pyrotechnics. "...And behold as well, one of my greatest inventions, the Superhero Custom-O-Matic!! Using the DNA profiles on file you can become the very heroes you read about!!"
The crowd looks around in confusion and murmurs.
"What is this?"
"Is this a stage show?"
"Are we watching an elaborate cosplay show?"
"This is dumb..."
"What a waste of zucchini!!"
"I thought this was the Metal Woman 3 trailer screening and Q & A?"
"Aw, I wanted a burrito."
Dr. Terrific looked around nervously. "Oh no, I'm losing the crowd..." she worried. You make a quiet clap to get her attention and then grab the hem of your skirt, pulling it, trying to convey the concept of stretching.
"Right!!" Dr. Terrific realized what she needed to do. She stretches her arms out, snatching Penny and you before you realize what was going on and plop you both on stage on your rears next to her. The crowd is in a cacophony of cheers and chaos, which only increases as they watch Penny's tail thrash in annoyance as she rises and you "stand" back up on a mist of vapor inches over the stage. "...and assisting me are Ocean Girl and the Lioness, who, believe it or not, just a couple of hours ago, were regular convention-goers like you!!"
"Assistants?" Penny blurted.
"I feel like I got tricked somehow." you say under your breath.
The crowd's attitude seemed to largely change.
"How'd they do that?!"
"Is this real?"
"Amazing special effects!!"
"I think that might be the real Dr. Terrific?!"
"Daddy, a REAL mermaid!!"
Now feeling the crowd interested again and back on her side, Dr. Terrific continued her spiel. "Now, as I was saying, this invention of mine was intended to solve a serious problem. What if a hero was killed or injured to the point that they could no longer protect us? The answer was simple. Create a process by which said hero's powers, appearance, arsenal, wardrobe, and select memories can be transferred into a new body. Let me make this clear - this is not some sort of demonic possession ritual. Anyone who goes through the Custom-O-Matic is in full control of themselves and their personalities and minds are not overriden. You are still you. However, they must be pure of heart and willing to serve in place of their predecessor. I will pick anyone willing to volunteer, up to five at a time, no restrictions on age, as long one as minors are accompanied by a parent or guardian."
Penny raises her hand and then blurts out, "Hey wait? I've been meaning to ask you this Doc, but just HOW do you determine who is supposedly 'pure of heart?'"
Dr. Terrific raises her hand to the right rim of her glasses, and in an spectacular arcane wisp of golden flames, they transform into what look like fancy goggles that would look like they'd be right in place in a steampunk convention, with several gears, lenses, and magical fire securing them to Dr. Terrific's face. "Neat, aren't they? They were a gift from the foremost mallard Master Magician and keeper of the Ocarina of Time Doctor Quack. Not only are they spiffy welding goggles, they let me see the merit and purity of one's soul. I mean, that's how I knew you knew were worthy after all."
You were agasp while Penny wowed at the revelation. "Now, raise your hands and I'll pick people from the audience to come up. To be fair and save time, the hero you can become will be picked at random. I know everyone would like to be Justice-Man or Wolfman, but I felt this the fairest way."
A small handful of people started raising their hands. "Maybe that whole 'taking their mantle' could be spooking people?" you whisper to Penny.
Dr. Terrific extended her arm into the crowd and began picking volunteers. The first five volunteers were picked and assembled, where Dr. Terrific asked them to introduce themselves.
"Tom Reynolds, 32." He was a slight built man with medium chestnut hair underneath a Baroque puffy white wig dressed in a halfway decent Beethoven of the Pubescent Abnormal Pirate Elephants cosplay.
"Alice Torrence, and I'm 8!! I came here with my daddy, my best friend Charlotte, and her mom!!" She was a precociousness brunette child in a pink hoodie and yellow pants with waist-length black hair.
"Arthur Torrence, 39, and this one's father." He was rubbing Alice's head. Arthur himself was average-build and in a crimson red business suit and yellow tie, black hair slicked back, possibly an attempt at a Suzaku Wayne, Attorney at Law cosplay.
"Jim Sanders. I'm 28 and this is my twelve Super-Con, but if this thing does what you claim, it might be the coolest!!" He was the posterboy of "comic book guy;" auburn hair in a spindly ponytail, ratty goatee, pasty pale skin, severely overweight, wearing a "Haruka" t-shirt fetauring her, her human rival Goemon, and other teammate Yumi the centaur kunoichi, that was a size too small, drab olive green cargo shorts, and socks & sandals.
"Bruce Jenkins. I'm 58, and have been a big fan of the Terrific Four since I was a kid." He was an aging middle-aged black man with short buzzed salt and pepper hair, more salt than pepper at this point, a light beard, scar under his left eye, open denim jacket, black t-shirt, jeans with brown leather belt, and old sneakers.
"Now that introductions are out of the way, everything is set and we can get this show on the road!!" Dr. Terrific cheers. "Now, with the press of this button we can start!!" She slams her hand down on the button and... nothing happens. Everyone is confused. Dr. Terrific slams it a few more times. She then stops and laughs. "Oh right. The button just disables the safety. The LEVER actually actually activates this incarnation. WHOOPS!!" The convention hall fills with laughter and guffaws as she remedies ber errors, throwing the switch, this time successfully bringing life to the Superhero Custom-O-Matic.
Tom was the first to exhibit changes. Dr. Terrific decided to make the following addendum to the crowd, "Now, none of know WHICH hero they will become until they're done, not even I, and son't worry about things getting R-rated, folks. Ocean Girl and I have set this up so your wardrobe will morph with you, so no ripped or torn clothes or adult parts popping up here!!" Tom's height began to dwindle from 6' to 5' 4" as Tom's wig fused to his chestnut hair and made it grow out into wavy waist-lenght golden locks. The resin elephant ears and trunk he wore with his costume, along with the eyepatch and pretend cutlass & musket all fell off onto the floor, pooling together into one long mass. Meanwhile his costume's flamboyant chartreuse pirate jacket, blouse, and flared pants jellified, shrinking as his waist collapsed and hips flared out some, becoming tight white leather pants held on his hips by a silver-studded black belt and a white corset top with molded cups which, for the most, sag empty, until fat, tissue, flesh blossom forth to fill it at a capacity comparable with that of a D-cup. Undeerneath the pants, his undies shrink and wedge up, working to wedge up his male anatomy into a feminine slit, the garment now a green g-string with the straps hoisted well above the top of his new pants to the top of his hips. His brown leather boots warp and become white 3" heels. Meanwhile, a thin gold bracelet appears on her right wrist and a on her left wrist was a large silver bracelet with cutesy heart design and snowflakes engraved all over it, along with a large sapphire. His left hand also now sported what now resembled a simple sterling silver wedding ring with a pearl inlay. His ears gained a set of gold stup earrings, as his left eyebrow is pierced twice by rings and his nipples pierced by gold studs under the top. His face smoothes to mildly mature woma's face, the evidence a few years were shaved off, making him look about 28. His eyes turn green from a dull brown as finally tribal tattoos go down his right arm, a winged heart tramp stamp appeared above his butt, and finally, a beautiful redheaded woman in a swimsuit appeared on his left bicep with a banner around her that said, "My Dear Ophelia." The final change was that, if you recall those props that fell on the floor and merged into a single long mass, they finished transforming into a long 9' pole topped by a pink ribbon going up to a white crystal snowflake with angel wings stretching out from the sides, and and crown-topped heart atop that.
Alice was next, shooting up in height from 3' 2" to 5' 7" as her hair shortened to a sensible pixie cut. A pair of horn-rimmed glasses framed her maturing face, her physical age jumping up to 40. Her pink hoodie loses it hood as it lengthens and turns white, becoming a thigh-length full-sleeved white lab coat, as a black turtleneck sweater forms underneath, and a plain black bra house average B-cup breasts. Her yellow pants adjust to fit her new height and modest adult physique while turning into white dress pants. Her sneakers become a pair of brown dress shoes. Finally a basic gold watch materialized on her left wrist as a robotic glove equipped itself to her right hand.
Alice's dad Arthur started shifting next, his clothes almost seemingly almost entirely evaporating in flames as all that was left was a loose white stained wifebeater and jorts on his now moderately muscular 6' 5" frame, his dress shoes now steel-toed boots. Under the top Arthur seemed to acquire a poorly done tattoo of the state of Florida on his right bicep as a pair of obnoxious Oakley sunglasses popped on his face along with a soulpatch, all of which together give off air of "big dick douchebag energy." Arthur's teeth all fell out and in their place grew several new dagger-sharp fangs. A similar thing happened to his fingernails, as they fell out only to be replaced with bestial claws. The sides of his hair trimmed away into a buzz as the top of his hair spiked up and turned a dark brown with frosted tips. A mild tan and a bit of the squaring of his jaw, along with a few other tweaks denotes his ethnicity changing to Hispanic.
Jim was next, burning off most of his weight as the rest began to migrate to his chest and rear, forming E-cup breasts, a massive, giantic, yet toned ass and thighs, and most notably, a 4' purple tufted grey furred donkey tail that ripped out of his cargo shorts which were quickly fusing into a frill-trimmed black pleated skirt with a quarter of the pleats on the righthand side jade green tartan instead, possessing a slit in the back for his new tail, as a frilly black bow appears near the tuft of the tail. Underneath, his underwear melted away into non-existence, the material being pushed down to meet with his lengthening socks, becoming two purple & black kneesocks as his sandals become black thick-soled steel-toed thigh-high leather-strapped boots. His printed tee morphed into an untucked short sleeve white button-up shirt with a pocket on his left breast emblazoned with a stitched emblem design of a pentagram circled by donkeys and butts. A black tie wrapped around his neck and draped atop Jim's new bosom, adorned with a gold version of the same pocket emblem at the base, two gold stripes situated above the emblem. His waist and hips were now light and curvy, clearly carrying a quarter of the weight he once did. A few years shed of Jim along with all the weight and his facial & body hair, rendering his age more around 19. His skin stayed pale, but his blemishes & acne washed away becoming like porcelain as his hair freed itself from its ponytail, turning purple and growing to elbow length as his ears grew out into two long grey furry donkey ears, while purple lipstick and nail polish appeared. Above Jim's head formed a black witch's hat with a white frilled purple band around the cone. Jim's eyes shifts from his original hazel to a scary red. Fingerless gloves appear on his hands with the same emblem on his shirt and tie on the back of the gloves. His fanny pack became a large satchel draped over his left shoulder filled a strange grimoire and decanters filled with elixirs. Finally, a broom made of the mythical metal mythril engraved with a long line of runes tipped in long donkey hair bristles seems to be conjured into his left hand.
Finally, Bruce began his changes, as the years melted away, reducing him to 18 as his denim ensemble warps into a futuristic navy bodysuit with gold piping down the sides fitted with layered samurai-style shoulder plates, forearm guards, pauldrouns, and a narrow navy chestplate engraved with a stylized walnut. Under this suit, Bruce's body had largely shrunk down, now having C-cup breasts, a layer of muscle hidden under a small layer of fat, a small rear, and meaty thighs. As Bruce's anatomy inverted in his groin, his race was changing as well, skin becoming a light olive tan as he begins to exhibit clearly Japanese features. As Bruce's hair turned white and grew out into a shoulder-length bob, his ears morphed into brown furry squirrel ears. Meanwhile, a massive bushy 8' long squirrel tail came out the rear of the bodysuit. Finally, strapped on his back is a gargantuan half-ton tungsten spiked club.
Finally, the Custom-O-Matic began to die down, and the crown was first wowed, then a little confused. In fact, even Dr. Terrific was a little stumped looking at the newest heroes.
"Nani?" Dr. Terrific cocked her head. She walked around the quintet, studying them, stopping at Bruce. "Alright, I recognize you. You're Sae Aoi, the Indomitable Squirrel Lady. The rest... not ringing a bell at the moment... but if you're here, then I definitely collected your DNA at some point."
Suddenly, your new otaku-like knowledge set you acquired by becoming Ocean Girl kicks in, and a twinge of worry and dread flashes over your face. You lean over to Dr. Terrific. "Oh shit. The other four are a mix of fringe one-offs, bad writing choices, members of outlier hero teams, or some mix of the above, and this could get VERY awkward."
"Like 'has a secret evil personality' bad?"
"No... More 'weird and embarrassing' bad than 'body count' bad."
"Dammit!!" Jim exclaims in a sickening saccharine sweet soprano teenage girl's voice. "People always called me 'a fat smelly gasbag,' and now... I'm just a smelly gasbag." Audible flatulence came from goth witch donkeygirl.
"It's safe to assume she knows what hero she is." you think.
Tom picks up the pole at their feet at stands it up, as though something was beckoning them to take the pole. "What's that? Say the incantion that will bring out the pure snow? ...Shine True!! Puri-Puri Snow?!" All of a sudden, a spectacular lightshow began around Tom as he started to transform again as he felt compelled to do a pole dance on the pole, ripping off her clothes as her body turned to light, but then managing to do the same to her tattoos as her piercings vanished except the ones in her ears. She quickly de-aged all the away down to 8, losing all her womanly curves as in a series of sparkles, glitter hearts, and snowflakes a glittery white & pink dress, ribbons, gloves, and boots appear on her new smaller body. The light shimmers away and shes strikes a pose after swinging the pole around. "Puri-Puri Snow is here!! .........What the fuck?!" Tom seemed genuinely confused what just happened and what she just did... and the tiny flying winged chibi polar bear orbiting her pole.
Alice turned to her dad and said, "Amazing!! You look quite powerful, yet uncouth. I feel so much smarter, daddy!! I..." About that time errant beams of sunlight hit Alice's face from the skylight above. "I never knew so much, like how... like... hey, are like, my boobies growing again?!" Alice gasped as she watched her breasts explode from B's to K's as the top they were under went from black turtleneck to a narrow hot pink keyholed bandeau that exposed part of Alice's underboob. Meanwhile her waist became impossibly narrow as her hips almost increased in diameter by 40%, her ass blowing away Jim's assets by a country mile as the white dress pants over them shrunk & fused down into a white leather microskirt and 8" heeled just-under-the-knee-high boots. Extending out tenting the front of her new microskirt is the latter portion of an erect footlong penis situated right above her clitoris. A gold navel piercing decorated her rigid six-pack abs. Her glasses split and dangled on her ears, morphing into dangling gold heart-shaped earrings. Her lab coat rode up on her arms and became several bangles and bracelets as the collar of the cost became a glittery pink choker labeled with "DITZY" in rhinestones on it. Alice's nails grew out 4" and dyed hot pink, the same her lips were becoming. Alice's physical age wound itself back from 40 to 16, much closer to her original age. Finally, from the upper sides of her head, pink ribbons appear on the side of her head as kneelength twintails grew out, her hair turning a very vibrant platinum blonde with pink highlights. "O. M. G!! I'm like, totes a hawtie!!" Alice exclaims, twirling her left twintail.
"Wait... NOW I remember them." Dr. Terrific utters after seeing Tom & Alice undergo second transformations. She goes back over to the Custom-O-Matic and pulls up their details. "I can hear the murmurs folks, and yes, I know many of you don't recognize of these heroes. I've had many travels and met many heroes, so even I don't remember them all with encyclopedic recall, but luckily I am thorough and kept records!!"
With a few more keystrokes Dr. Terrific began the breakdown.
"First off, the one most of you are most like to know is the hero our former eldest volunteer Bruce became, Sae Aoi, also known as the Indomitable Squirrel Lady. She has the proportionate reaction speed, agility, dexterity, and memory of a thousand squirrels, as well as enhanced strength, a prehensile tail, and an unnatural amount of luck."
"Heh, I just realized I have no idea how I'm going to explain ma' squirrel butt here to ol' Ruth when I get back up to the hotel room." the new Squirrel Lady opined, just now realizing the ramifications of her actions, her 54 year old wife having wanted to go Convention Hall 1-C to attend the Doctor Mallard table read and Q & A instead of going with her to this show.
"Now," Dr. Terrific went on, "our first volunteer, Tom Reynolds, inherited the form and powers of Irma Snow, a stripper who won the favor of the pure-hearted snow spirit Yuri-Kuma when Irma stumbled across her staff while trying to protect an orphanage from mob goons and was imparted with the power to call upon the pure snow to become the magical girl Puri-Puri Snow... The only thing is, Yuri-Kuma didn't explain to Irma that HER definition of pure meant Irma has to strip away ALL her impurities any time she wanted to know the boons of Puri-Puri Snow, which included even her adulthood, as all adults were inherently impure in Yuri-Kuma's eyes. As Puri-Puri Snow, she has vast superhuman strength and speed close to that of the Lioness, but her real power comes from her freezing powers and mastery over the cold, a power so strong it can freeze even Justice-Man to the core, although Kantonians are known to be weak to magic anyhow."
As Dr. Terrific scrolled down to the next entry, everyone hears a little girl shout out, "What happened to you Alice?"
Alice stuck her tongue out and giggled, jiggling her massive chest and shouting, "Like, not sure!! I mean, first I like this smartie lady, now I'm this like, totes strong hottie!! Hey, I like, just remembered something I can do!! Why not try it with me?!" As soon as Dr. Terrific sees Alice's large blue eyes glow, followed by a matching glow around the girl Alice was talking to, most likely the best friend Alice came to Super-Con with, and a woman sitting next to her, most likely the best friend's mother. Dr. Terrific turns to Penny and you, telling you to bring them backstage with the utmost haste, stating she'll explain why in a moment. You both rush out to escort the two as requested, noting the girl is getting taller at quite a pace, their clothes are ruffling about, and they both have strong streaks of blonde permeating through more and more of their locks as they led down the aisle as Dr. Terrific brings up the profiles of the heroes that Alice and Arthur became.
Suddenly, Dr. Terrific is slammed up against the side of the machine, held up in the air by the fabric around the chest of her costume by Alice's father Arthur. "Good question!! Why IS my dau... First my daughter is some MILF scientist, then she suddenly turns turns into a tenny-bopper bimbo!! Gyahhh!! I knew was a stupid idea!!" Shortly after he says that, a glow radiates from Arthur, and he seems to become stronger.
"Give me a moment and I'll explain, so if you'll put me down, sir?" Dr. Terrific utters calmly, trying to deescalate the situation the best she could. Arthur capitulates, letting her go to the terminal to bring their info up onto a projection screen. "I was quite thorough when I was assembling the Custom-O-Matic." Dr. Terrific blushes. "Now that I have had time to look at you two and the genomic profiles for your originals, I remember these two heroes as heroes who weren't as famous, but still powerful nonetheless." She first walks over to Alice, who seems to be running around the stage arms outstretched making "woosh," flying, and explosion sound effects, as though she was pretending to fly. She then gets close to Jim as she lets more farts rip.
"Like, you smelly!! Daddy, catch me!! Donkey lady's poots like, totes made me all dizzy and things... *giggile*" She stumbles woozily into her father's arms, Dr. Terrific noticing the sunlight from above hitting the stage, and most notably, Alice.
"Alice here had the surprising chance of becoming a hero that is usually kept out of the news because most hero & government organizations find her a PR liability. She is Velma Xanders, AKA Vivi Xana, the 'Dynamite Ditz.'
She was an ordinary overworked super-scientist working for a multinational corporation, DioCORP, working on, among other things, formulas to repair cellular damage from aging, improve lactation in mothers, treat dementia, improve human skin cells' ability to derive Vitamin D from sunlight while at the same time fortifying them against skin cancer, and several, several more, and was just weeks away from completing the whole set, when a jealous colleague sabotaged her work, setting off an explosion and heavily mutating her. Now any time she is exposed to any form of ultraviolet light, especially sunlight or tanning lights, or touches or drinks milk (of any kind), she turns into the epitome of sexy big breasted dumb blonde airheads, the Dynamite Ditz. She stays in this form until she is no longer exposed to the offending stimuli and its effects leave her system and she isn't currently, ahem, aroused, which usually takes about 199 minutes, or about 3 hours and 19 minutes, at which time she reverts, clothes and all, to her original smart scientist self. This transformation can also be brought on against her will if she goes two whole weeks avoiding transforming stimuli. If triggered this way she is locked in her Ditz form for 100 hours straight, a sort of penalty for repressing her transformation for so long. Finally, she can trigger the change at will, but a willed change to her Ditz form can only last 69 minutes without absorbing some form of her regular stimuli beforehand, and it requires her to, um... 'stimulate herself,' if you get my drift.
As for her superpowers, before transforming she has superhuman intellect rivaling that of Ocean Girl, Metal Woman, The Wolfman, and my own, but once transformed into the Dynamite Ditz she... oh dear... her strength can rival 'He Who Dwells Within' Bulk, her top speed dwarves Professor Prophecy, physical durability ten times that of Fukage, the One-Kick Woman, near instant healing while exposed to sunlight, immunity to all mental & psychic attacks, eye beams that can turn any non-living material into... miniskirts, as well as many other abilities, but most notably the Dynamite Ditz has the peculiar ability to transform up to two people at a time into ditzes not unlike her, becoming special thralls known as 'BFFs,' though wholly female and without all the superpowers.
What use is this power to the Ditz? Well, anyone she temporarily turns into one of her ditzy BFFs who was previously under someone's mind control is immediately freed of it and rendered immune to further manipulations. They also find their durability and healing enhanced twenty-fold and strength doubled while transformed by the Ditz's power. Making someone a BFF is useful for saving civilians and freeing heroes from mind control. The downside is they end up with bodies, wardrobes, and intellects similar to the Ditz, i.e. dumb big boobed blondes. Moreso, once done, the transformation cannot be undone for 26 hours, and if a BFF ends up pregnant before the 26 hour period is up, the transformation becomes permanent for that BFF. Luckily the Ditz is almost always responsible with her BFF power.
What keeps her being possibly the most powerful hero in existence? Her own ditziness, of course. She's so dumb she will often forget what all her own powers even are, sometimes only recalling them by pure accident..." Dr. Terrific puts her hand in front of the mic to cover her mouth. "...or in mid-orgasm..." she tried to whisper in the mic.
The crowd was is disbelief. Almost all of them had never heard of the Dynamite Ditz.
"Her father Arthur is a hero who often teamed up with the Dynamite Ditz. Meet 'Florida Man.' He's genetically 55% human, 5% gator, 5% fairy dust, 5% angel dust, 20% crystal meth, 5% Crystal Pepsi, and 5% memes... Wait, memes have DNA? ...Nevermind. The original Florida Man was a guy named Rick Juarez who was a Florida native trying to do ten different idiotic internet challenges all at once while trying to hood surf going 120 down I-95 while high on meth in the middle of a thunderstorm, when he crashed his car into a gator just as a lightning bolt struck him. The coming together of all these really stupid choices in the state of Florida created an unstable wormhole of 'Florida Energy,' because as it turns out, Florida is the magnetic center for all stupid decision making in the multiverse. Rick's body absorbed over 1.21 Gigadisneys of Florida Energy, imparting his teeth and claws, as well as enhancing his musculature and imparting his... er, powers.
What are Florida Man's powers? Without any outside forces modifying him, he already has strength five times greater than a regular man and an enhanced healing factor. However, his true power comes from the fact he not only experiences no negative effects from street drugs like crack cocaine, crystal meth, or PCP short of crippling addiction to them, but gets exponentially more superpowers from doing them - super speed from meth and super strength from crack. His other major power is that he can not only further amplify himself the more brash, reckless, incompetent, and an all-around total jerk he chooses to act, but draw power from the bad decision making and of others, turning that into Florida Energy he can use to increase his durability, healing, and intellect, as well as charge energy to allow him to shoot his patented 'Florida Beam,' which is just him shooting lighting from his middle finger whenever he flips people the bird. Basically, he embodies and draws power from everything people view as bad or absurd about Florida and uses it to save the day. And since he can draw power from the bad and/dumb ideas of others, the Dynamite Ditz is a perfect partner for him."
"Wow... My hero is dumb." Arthur exclaimed, resting his daughter's head in his lap.
"No silly!! Like, I'm the one's who totally dum-dum!! Totes amazeballes!!"
Penny cocks her head in confusion, her jaw going slack. You answer just as sound starts to leave her mouth. "In her current state, her current valuations of intellect are inverted, working on Weirdo Rules. Basically, while she's the Ditz, she's proud to be an idiot and regards complimenting her intelligence an insult instead."
Penny cups her fist, eyes lighting up. "Oooooh......"
She didn't get it.
A sound of flatulence draw attention away from you, Penny, Alice, and Arthur. "Our final new hero was Rita Kresch, a gifted student from a bad home with an interest in witchcraft who became disillusioned in high school at the age of 13 and went into a bit of a rebellious streak, and rather than deal with her, her parents made a deal with a demon to send her away. Where? To the fabled Pleasure Island where all bad children go to make asses of themselves, or so the legend says. She found some of the kids were tricked, some like her sent here by the actions of others, and some were just straight-up abducted. Many who were there met the fate of so many others - becoming intersexed adult donkeys trapped in permanent estrus. She saw threw the island though. While she didn't escape the island's hex unscathed, growing a donkey's ears and tail, she managed to research the curse, find the demon that called itself 'The Coachman' the hexed the island with that curse, and turned the tables on him, slaying him, freeing the kids and donkeys trapped there, and stealing his powers for herself, but not before getting one last weak curse from the dying Coachman, cursed with uncontrollable donkey flatulence. After three years of study, she finally learned it was impossible to reverse or progress donkey transformations stopped midway like hers, meaning her ears and tail (and her flatulence) was eternal, but it also made her immune to effects that physically transform. She also, in her efforts, discovered how to finally use her the magic she stole, as well as new spells; thus was born the goth donkey witch superhero 'Ass-Caster!!' She uses her flatulence to cast all kinds of spells, from toxic smoke clouds, healing auras, searing flames, blizzards, tornadoes, wormholes, flight, and even summoning demons she can command. She can even generate and reverse 'The Pleasure Island Hex' in a half-mile radius around her, though the hex is indiscriminate, takes time to start up & deactivate, and is dangerous to not let fully run it's course each way.
Ass-Caster eventually became a member of the Arcane Guild, a special-ops branch of the Guild possessing who are magical, demonic, or divine, and/or are extra-talented at fighting mystical threats the regular Guild is ill equipped for. Heroes like James Byzantine, Yalanna, Professor Prophecy, and the Wolfman were a part of it as well."
"I read all the Arcane Guild comic books and I don't remember an 'Ass-Caster...'" Jim says, "...but that I know what I can do... I don't know if I feel excited or grossed out by this... hmmm... excited."
The crowd was awash in emotion. Some were wowed by this feat of science. Some were confused by the esoteric and rarely heard of heroes sometimes even the most ardent comic book fans weren't aware of. Others were concerned with what happened specifically to the Torrance's, or "Dynamite Ditz" and "Florida Man" as they were known now.
"Crap. I think I tanked the demo." Dr. Terrific freaked internally, tearing up.
Bruce, the new Squirrel Lady, walked over to Dr. Terrific and asked, "Just curious, how long does this last?"
With misty eyes disturbingly wide open, she shakenly turned her head and exclaimed, "Uhhhhhh......... About that......? Eh-yeah... It's QUITE permanent. A- and... and before you ask, cut me some slack!! I'm the sole survivor of a universe basically wiped out, including my wife Mara Mist, by a psychotic clown turned omnipotent god, so think of setting up a recombinator for your DNA was NOT MY TOP FUCKING PRIORITY."
Penny nudges your shoulder nervously. "Um, anyone see where Alice's little friend and her mom go? In all the hubbub of the last few minutes, I forgot all about them!!"
Oh crap, that's right. That whole glow and all and why the Doc wanted them backstage was because a nascent Ditz Alice had just "BFF'ed" her BFF and her mom, and if what Penny is saying is right, they're possibly wandering around backstage or elsewhere mid-transformation at this moment.
"HHEEEEEEEEY!!!!!!" Tom screams with her childish lungs. "IS SOMEBODY GONNA TELL ME HOW TO CHANGE THE FUCK BACK GODDAMIT?!!"
Yuri-Kuma floats around her covering her face blushing. "Such language!!"
§ What Happens Next? §