Valeria von Karnstein sat in her coffin in her bedroom (coffinroom?), crying tearlessly over Ruby Reynard. Why in the name of Night did that werevixen skank have to come back to town to torment her with her memory? Worse, Ruby was obviously still in the heartbreaker business, here to beguile another naive teenage girl and crush her dreams. That was the werefox way, after all. Ruby might say she didn't realize how much she'd hurt Valeria, but the vampire didn't believe her faithless ex for one second. Who the hell wouldn't realize that breaking up with your longtime girlfriend over a fucking TEXT was cruel?! Okay, maybe a werevixen wouldn't...
Valeria was snapped from her reverie by the sudden sound of her ringtone (Bach's Toccata and Fugue in D minor). The vampiress fumbled around for her phone and answered. "Hello, this is Valeria von Karnstein."
"Valeria?" asked a vaguely familiar female voice. "Awesome! It's me, Roxy."
"Who?" asked Valeria.
"Roxy," Roxy repeated. "Roxanne Nicole Weiss. Remember me? I'm the spring breaker you and your sister fucked and did drugs with in that abandoned warehouse last night."
"Oh, Roxy!" Valeria exclaimed, suddenly remembering the events of last night. "I remember you now! Yeah, you were a pretty fun lay. So, what made you think of me?"
"I'm gonna be honest with you, Val," said Roxy. "I haven't been able to get you out of my head since our little adventure. I know it's only been a little under 24 hours, but that's the longest I've ever fixated on ANY of my one-night stands. I was seriously wondering if I might be aromantic for a while, but... there's something special about you. Something in your eyes that... that I don't ever want to not have in my life." Roxy laughed. "And then there's your drugs, of course. I don't ever want to not have THOSE in my life either!"
"Don't worry, Roxy!" Valeria laughed along with her new friend. "I've got plenty of those!"
"What were they, anyway?" asked Roxy. "They were pretty wild. I've done all kinds of drugs, but nothing ever blew me away quite like that shit."
"It's a special kind of designer drug," Valeria lied. "I steal them from my moms' supply. They may seem reclusive to outsiders, but they throw some crazy parties for their billionaire friends, complete with drugs so expensive that people who make less than Mark Zuckerberg don't even know they exist."
"Be good to get some more of that!" Roxy laughed. "But for real, you're better than any drug, Val."
"Thanks," Valeria smiled. Her cheeks blushed blue as they filled with the venom that flowed in her veins instead of blood. A question suddenly popped into the vampire's head. "Wait! How'd you learn my number? A don't recall giving it to you."
"I asked my sister Will to ferret it out," said Roxy. "She's real good at finding secrets out. She's planning on following Mom and Grandpa into the quote unquote 'FBI'."
"Quote unquote?" asked Valeria.
"They're crackpots," said Roxy. "Will and Grandpa are convinced vampires and werewolves and witches are real. Life's one big horror movie to them... literally. Grandpa's name is Quincey Harker Jr., and he says we're descended from THOSE Harkers. Yes, the ones from Dracula. Mom, Grandpa, and Will are convinced that book is adapted from actual excepts from Jonathan Harker's journals and he actually DID fight a Transylvanian vampire patriarch called Dracula. You know what Will's name is short for? Wilhelmina. You know, Mina's full name in Dracula. Grandpa and Mom are always globetrotting, following the lead of every crackpot who thinks there's a gremlin living in their garbage disposal."
"Really?" Valeria asked a bit pensively.
"Yeah," Roxy scoffed. "Grandpa's house is practically a warehouse of wooden stakes, crucifixes, holy water, and silver bullets. It's fucking insane! And Will believes it! A modern girl of the 21st Century! The only reason she helped me locate you was because of the von Karnstein name, actually. She actually thinks you and your family are all vampires."
"That's nuts," Valeria laughed with practiced glibness. "If I really WERE a vampire, you'd be a bloodless corpse in an abandoned warehouse right now."
"I know, right?" Roxy snickered. "Anyway, that's how I found you. I had to, Val. I wanted to know if you'd be interested in... meeting up tomorrow. Hanging out, getting into trouble together... maybe doing what we did last night?"
"I..." Valeria's voice caught in her throat. If she could've gone any paler, she would have. "I... I think I'd like that, Roxy. I don't know what my moms would think of that, but I'd love to get closer to you."
"Thank you so much, Val!" Roxie practically blared into the phone. "I'll see you tomorrow around four. Be sure to bring your rich people drugs. Bye!" Roxie hung up.
Valeria wondered if she did the right thing. Was it smart for a vampire to date a girl from a family of monster hunters? The Harkers were some of the most prominent monster hunters in the world, and Roxie had one for a mother and another for a grandfather. And her sister may not bear the Harker name, but she definitely had the Harker mindset. On the other hand, the von Karnsteins hadn't had any particularly unpleasant encounters with the Harkers like they had with the Vordenburgs. It was Clan Tepes that the Harkers hated. Of course, old Quincey Harker Jr. did have an obnoxious habit of calling Carmilla up every few years and grilling her for information about Clan Tepes as if every vampire clan were friends with every other vampire clan on the planet. These annoying phone calls could get a lot tenser if a von Karnstein were dating the old man's granddaughter.
But there was no way Valeria von Karnstein was backing out of this. She NEEDED Roxy Weiss. Roxy was fun, passionate, spontaneous, and more than a little naughty. In a lot of ways, the human girl embodied everything Valeria had loved about Ruby Reynard, only minus the werevixen self-absorption and inability to understand others' feelings. Vampires tended to believe in soulmates, and Valeria was becoming increasingly convinced she'd found hers. Only one question haunted the vampiress... would the Harkers ever allow her to give one of their kin the gift of immortality?