Carmilla and Mircalla strolled serenely in the forests on their estate's extensive grounds, their pale hands clasped together. Mircalla gazed adoringly at the way Carmilla's beguiling face caught the silvery moonlight.
"Like what you see?" Carmilla asked teasingly.
"I can't help but stare," Mircalla giggled. "You're still as beautiful as the day you came to my father's schloss in Styria all those years ago."
Carmilla laughed gently. "All 159 of them?"
"The years may be many," Mircalla smiled, "but your beauty is timeless. You were a ray of lovely moonlight in the dark cloud of loneliness that surrounded this poor, isolated daughter of an Englishman serving the Austrian emperor living in the remote countryside. Do you remember why you gave me 'Mircalla' as my vampire name?"
"Because it was an anagram of mine," Carmilla smiled reverently at her consort, "so great was your love for me." Carmilla leaned in and brushed her ruby lips over Mircalla's, savoring their taste.
Carmilla broke the kiss after a minute and looked off in the direction of the manor. "I imagine Tatiana's having a good time at the werehyena pack's sleepover. I understand they're experimenting with a candy from Morgana that adds and removes human body hair."
"I wonder what the hyenagirls will look like when they've finished," Mircalla wondered, shaking her head. "When I was mortal, it was generally frowned upon for a young lady to be hairy like a man."
"It is indeed a peculiar desire," Carmilla conceded, "but therianthropes have instincts alien to humans and vampires, and this affects their standards of beauty. It would be wrong to judge them for it."
Mircalla smiled wryly. "I believe I know one vampire who might like it."
"I take it you're referring to our daughter Dracona?" answered Carmilla. "Yes, I'm quite aware of her sexual fascination with well-muscled, virile hermaphrodites. I imagine it's only a matter of time before she invites herself to the sleepover."
"I doubt the pack would complain of another nubile young vampiress to play with," Mircalla purred, wrapping her arms around Carmilla's shoulders. "Much like how I wouldn't mind some 'playtime' with you right now."
Carmilla kissed her consort in response. Just as her hands strayed to Mircalla's clothes in order to undress her, a savage, belligerent voice echoed through the woods.
"THERE YOU TWO ARE!!!" it thundered. "WE NEED TO FUCKING TALK!!!"
A massive red-furred werewolf came bounding into view, its powerful body rippling with muscle. The beast was totally naked, its massive breasts revealing it to be female. Carmilla instantly recognized the intruder as Artemis Lyall, Selena's mother and the mate of Alpha Caleb. Carmilla had no idea what this was all about, but it couldn't be good; Artemis wasn't known as the most sweet-tempered of werewolves. Why couldn't tonight have even a single pleasant moment?
Carmilla curtsied warily. "Good evening, Artemis Lyall. As you doubtless know, I am Matriarch Carmilla von Karnstein, and this is my consort Mircalla. My warmest regards to your pack. Please forgive me of this question sounds pointed, but what need is so pressing that you had no choice but to trespass on my property? I understand werebeasts normally have a very strong concept of territory."
"Funny you leeches are so fucking concerned about ME overstepping boundaries," Artemis sneered. "I'm here to talk to you about the way your clan's been ingratiating themselves with MY cubs! Selena, especially. For a while now, I've been watching your Tatiana girl join herself at the hip to Selena. I never gave any kind of approval to Tatiana, but she insists on doing everything with my youngest. Lately it's even taken a turn for the romantic! Don't try to deny it; I can smell vampire sex pheromones all over Selena!"
"They do go to school together," Carmilla argued. "A certain amount of contact is inevitable, and I doubt interactions between them on school grounds could be considered a valid violation of your pack's boundaries."
"Oh, it STARTED at school," Artemis growled, "and that was fucking bad enough! But lately that devious little fang's started dropping by for visits! I can smell the lingering scent of your kind in my daughter's bedroom! It's unmistakable to our enhanced noses: sickly sweet and a bit musty, like Egyptian mummies!"
"I apologize if our odor is displeasing to you," Mircalla said, "but I do not appreciate you calling our daughter a leech and a fang. Racist slurs have no place in discourse between civilized magicals."
"Maybe being 'civilized' isn't as desirable to werebeasts as it is to vampires!" Artemis scoffed. "Maybe being 'civilized' sounds like a fucking joke when the 'civilized' Gilles de Rais is feasting on the blood of children! Maybe we don't WANT to be like the 'civilized' Clan Bathory! Maybe wearing fancy clothes and knowing what spoon to use when at a dinner party isn't what makes a decent person, you condescending, imperious, piece-of-shit bloodsucker!"
Carmilla raised her pearly hand. "Please, everybody try to keep calm! Artemis, I propose we ask Tatiana to refrain from visiting Selena on pack territory. It might not be an ideal solution to you, but it resolves any issues our clan may be having with pack law."
"Not fucking good enough, corpse whore!" Artemis growled, baring her sharp teeth. "I can smell a scheme to destroy our pack a mile away! I know exactly why Tatiana wants to be friends—and more!—with my daughter! She looks at Selena and sees a misfit wolfborn who could easily be tempted away from the pack. She thinks she can recruit Selena into your clan of degenerates, make a fucking von Karnstein of her! And she's just the Moon-damned start! Once you figure out if your vile venom works on werebeasts, you'll take ALL of our girl-cubs and turn them into vampires!"
Carmilla's eyes flashed with barely-contained anger. "Artemis Lyall, that is complete gibberish! I have no intention of stealing your pack's cubs! Why should I when I have so many eager humans to recruit new daughters from? Anne Rice, Charlaine Harris, L. J. Smith, and (as much as I utterly DESPISE to admit it) Stephenie Meyer have made vampires very appealing to the human species."
"Then why the holy fuck are you slowly turning our girl-cubs lesbian?!" Artemis snarled. "You leeches can't bullshit me! Every fucking generation, it gets a little more severe! Now an easy majority of our female cubs have zero interest in males whatsoever! How the fuck are they supposed to have cubs of their own?!"
Carmilla frowned. "Artemis, you must know enough about vampire matriarchs to understand that's just ambient magic acting on my subconscious. It's nothing I'm deliberately doing. As for how your females are supposed to breed, might I propose a hermaphroditic solution? Morgana Faye sells a quite excellent hermaphrodite potion called Essence of Priapus. Just have half of each lesbian couple in the pack take it, and your fertility problems will be solved."
"Why should we have to resort to magic to fix the shitshow YOU caused?!" Artemis screeched. "Fuck it, I've had enough!"
With that, Artemis launched her muscular body right at Carmilla in a blur of red fur and slashed her razor-like claws into the alabaster flesh of Carmilla's arm, ripping it open. Blue venom gushed out of the wound, staining the grass. Carmilla winced as Mircalla threw her comforting arms around her injured wife. A moment later, the slash wounds began to knit back together as the vampire matriarch's healing factor kicked in. The wound vanished without a trace, not even leaving a scar.
"You'll have to try a little harder if you wish to harm me," said Carmilla. "Your claws may be able to overcome the healing factor of other werebeasts, but you'll find vampires aren't so vulnerable. You have, however managed to destroy my sleeve, and that was extremely rude. Don't be concerned, I am willing to overlook this slight in the interest of peace between our communities."
"Don't think I'll forget how uncooperative you've been!" Artemis sneered before slinking off. Carmilla smiled slightly, noting Artemis's tail was firmly between her legs.
"I was sorely tempted to summon a swarm of bats to speed our visitor on her way," Carmilla chuckled.
"Do you think we've provoked the pack?" Mircalla asked nervously.
"I highly doubt it," said Carmilla. "We never touched her, even when she assaulted us. I know Caleb Lyall. He's stubborn and not overly fond of vampires, but he doesn't want a war. If anything, he'll discipline his mate for trying to instigate something over practically nothing."
"That's a relief," sighed Mircalla. She eyed her wife with playful lust. "Now, let's get you out of those torn, venom-stained clothes and have a little fun, my darling..."