While panic reigned in the real-life police station, Jack’s login process into his new virtual existence had already been completed. The muscle snowman stud clad in just a police officer’s hat and badge was in awe at what he saw. “Wow, so this is what the fuss is all about. This is the metaverse...”
The mighty metaverse looked like an extremely generic winter wonderland except for the fact that every single object you could see carried a price tag. Candy canes stuck on the floor, 5$ each. An igloo hut that served as a home, 5000$. Hot cocoa, 4$. An emote to drink from a cup of hot cocoa, 66$.
“Wowzers, I feel like I could spend my entire life savings in just five minutes if I'm not careful.”
But there was no time to shop around, Jack Stunning had a criminal to catch. He better find some clues or vital witnesses. Jack first asked a man dressed up like Santa, but the conversation went nowhere as he turned out to be just a mindless NPC advertising a new cola drink.
After this embarrassing disappointment, Jack saw lots of characters performing the same robotic dance moves to non-existent music which he could only assume to be... Real players!
One of those real players, one who wore a male default avatar with ski gear, approached Jack. “Hey, are you a newbie?”
Jack’s inexpressive black marbles for eyes blinked. Was this random person talking to him? The cop is the one who should be asking questions!
The muscular snowman whispered to the other side of the screen. “Eh, Carl and nerd guy, a pedestrian is asking me if I’m a ‘newbie’. What does that term mean?” But nobody answered. The connection to the real world was still spotty. Figures. He would have to improvise.
“I’m not a newbie, I’m just new here.” Jack answered with a straight face.
“Cool, bro.” The stranger said and stood there, still and quiet, for a few long and awkward seconds. Jack wondered what expression the guy was making behind the ski balaclava. It was very strange talking to a virtual avatar which may or may not be an accurate representation of the actual player. Hell, the stranger could either be a fat greasy old guy or a hot chick using a male voice filter.
“My player name is NotAGrifter#34959.” The stranger said and performed a handshaking emote that caused him to handshake the air in front of him in an eerily, uncanny valley way. “I like your avatar, bro."
Jack looked down at his muscular bare torso made out of cold, pristine white snow. “Oh, thanks. By the way, have you seen anyone acting suspicious around here-”
The stranger took a step forward and pointed at his chiseled six pack. “So much attention to detail. Especially the muscles. Is it custom-made?”
“You could say so. But-”
The stranger took another step forward. “Who made it? Where did you buy it from?”
“Well, I didn’t exactly buy it, because-”
The stranger got extremely uncomfortably close to Jack. “How much would you sell it for? What payment methods do you accept? Would you trade it for this limited edition scarf?”
Jack didn’t know how he could explain to this stranger that the snowman avatar was all he had and that it had been modeled using his own real-world body as a literal material using state-of-the-art Virtualizer technology. “It’s... it’s not for sale...”
“Ok. What about the accessories? The handcuffs? The police badge? How much for the buttons?” The random stranger reached for Jack's hard pecs and squeezed the button that used to be Jack’s left nipple. Jack couldn’t help yelping in a shriek of unexpected pleasure. It may have looked like a round pink pebble masquerading as a button but to the snowman it felt like an extremely sensitive part of his own body. Jack's nipples had always acted like remote controls for his arousement level, and they were literally hard as a rock right now. The hunky snowman’s cock twitched and hardened in such an abrupt and exaggerated way it was cartoon-grade comical.
“Oh my *beep*ing god!” The stranger was so excited that he had triggered Frosted Lands(tm)’s patented censor beep. “The carrot has animations included?! How much do you want for that carrot?”
Jack blushed. He had almost forgotten his cock was now a carrot ‘nose’ visible to everyone. He instinctively tried to use his wooden muscular arms to hide his orange nine-incher from view, but his short wooden twigs did a very poor job at covering up the gargantuan erection that hung on his face.
NotAGrifter *NEEDED* that carrot. Wearables with animations were worth much more than regular accessories. He was sure it would fetch a lot in the black market of limited edition items were Jack to be unfortunate or gullible enough to lose it. He wondered if it included any other emotes...
Jack shrieked when the stranger suddenly and with no warning flicked the tip of his erect nose. The phallic carrot swayed up and down and hardened even more. Jack's poorly-made caricature of a human face blushed. “Please, don’t!”
“It even has mucus fluid simulation, so much attention to detail!” NotAGrifter said, completely unaware he had just touched Jack’s penis and that the dripping mucus was actually his precum. He reached for all nine inches of it and squeezed hard.
A giant user interface window appeared in front of Jack's eyes. “NotAGrifter#34959 has sent you a trade request for your currently-worn item, ‘Snowman’s Carrot (Nine inches-long)’, accept or decline?”
The big sign obscured the muscular snowman's line of sight. "Woah! How do I get rid of this thing?!" Jack panicked as he struggled to press the floating 'Decline' button blindly with those fragile and unnecessarily-complex-to-articulate twigs of his.