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Mad Science

Greg's Plan

Greg knew Dan was still physically an adult. But he felt like Dan was fooling himself. No one in public ever mistook him for a grown man. They all assumed he was a toddler dressed like a grownup. In fact, they usually assumed Greg was Dan’s father. And Greg liked that.

So, Greg was determined to make Dan accept a new, easier lot in life. He wanted Dan to become his toddler son and be happy about it. The first step was to get rid of the most adult part of Dan: his potty training.

Greg was Dan’s ride to and from work, and he had noticed that when they got home, Dan would immediately race to the bathroom. He assumed that Dan held it in all day to avoid asking for help from someone, as he couldn’t reach the handles to the employee bathroom door on his own, nor climb onto the toilet without a step stool. Clearly, it would be easier for Dan if he just allowed himself to use the training pants he had to wear. Greg was going to make him realize that.

When they pulled up to the apartment, Dan got out of the car, racing for the bathroom. Greg, however, had longer legs, and beat him easily. He slammed the bathroom door closed, locking it.

“Greg!” Dan shouted.

“Sorry, dude, I had spicy tacos from that place on Main Street for lunch and it’s biting me in the ass.”

“I’ve gotta pee!”

“Well, too bad!” Greg replied. He was perfectly fine, of course. He was just planning on waiting out Dan’s bladder.

After about five minutes, Dan stopped banging on the door and begging for Greg to let him in. Greg waited a few minutes, then hesitantly opened the door.

“All right, bathroom’s yours.”

“…Never mind,” Dan mumbled.

“What do you mean?”

“I…” Dan winced. “I guess it was a good thing I was wearing training pants.”

“Oh, no!” Greg said, hoping he was feigning concern properly. “I’m so sorry, dude!”

“It- it’s whatever,” Dan sighed.

“Shouldn’t you change out of them, if they’re wet?” Greg asked.

“Yeah. Good point.” Dan walked away to get a new pair of training pants from his room. Greg resisted the urge to do a little jig, proud he had accomplished what he set out to do. Now, all he had to do was keep it up. Hopefully, he could get Dan not just in training pants, but in diapers, quickly.


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