Yuyaku (now in his Akita persona) and Taijin waited for Arcane Dolan to call their names. The hulking Nekomata lashed his flaming tails impatiently, today was going to be so fun! But stupid Deng-Long got to go first, so they were first to watch his two-bit introduction…
“Deng-Long, please introduce us to your two assistants.” Arcane Dolan said.
Deng-Long grinned and snapped his fingers.
Two powerful beasts thundered on stage. The stegosaurus at his true height stood eight feet tall, his form taut with muscle. The auditorium shook with each heavy step he took. The stegosaur came to a halt near Deng-Long, flexed his powerful muscles and let loose with a primal roar that had the audience cowering their seats.
The ogre, on the other hand, walked out with his meaty arms behind his back, potent musk spreading throughout the auditorium. Mothar wore only a thong, his grey-green skin covered in beads of sweat. The ruggedly handsome ogre winked at the crowd. The audience swooned, some bucking their hips as they came from sheer arousal. Even Taijin’s pants were tenting.
“Concentrate, kid.” Akita whispered. “It’s just magically induced arousal. Pure beginner stuff. Use your magic resistance.”
Taijin closed his eyes and cleared his mind with a few slow breaths.
“Wow!” Arcane Dolan was saying. “What a strong line up! These two are fine contenders. Akita! Bring out…your assistants!”
“Just like we practiced.” Akita murmured.
The tips of the kitsune’s tails began to glow blue. Flames danced on the tips. The kitsune began spinning his tails, the flames whirling in a circle. He gestured and the flames moved out onto the stage proper, where the audience could see them. They formed a portal.
As the flames grew more and more intense, the audience started to whisper. Beyond the curtain of blue flames, a figure appeared. It grew larger and larger, and soon it became obvious that the figure was rushing towards it. The figure made a mighty leap through the burning hoop, the flames covering the hulking form. He rolled and came to his feet with a roar so powerful he put out the flames.
The audience stared, amazed, at the enormous handsome silver-furred tiger-monster. It glared at them with heterochromatic eyes, one emerald green and the other a burning orange. The Nekomata crossed his arms over his head in a flex, flaming tails whipping behind him. Deng-Long stared at the figure in shock.
The audience clapped and looked around for a second assistant. Then the murmuring began.
“So Dmitri ditched him.” Deng-Long muttered to himself, then grinned at Akita and raised his voice so the crowd could hear. “Are you so bold to think you can defeat me with only one assistant? Or did your new assistant run away?”
“Oh Taijin,” Akita smirked. “You silly cat. You know I need two of you.”
Deng-Long frowned at Akita.
Taijin whistled, getting his attention.
“Hey Deng-Long, didn’t you know?” Taijin grinned. “I’m a two-for-one deal!”
The tiger began to glow brightly, only his silhouette visible. His 8’4 frame shrunk and split into to identical tigers. The glow faded, revealing two strikingly handsome twin tigers. The audience gasped. The tigers moved, perfectly in sync with each other, their eye color the only distinguishing mark.
“That’s against the rules.” Deng-Long objected. “Come on. Merging your assistants is clearly against the rules.”
“It’s perfectly legal, I’m afraid,” Arcane Dolan shrugged. “It was an official determination by three Dolans. That’s still technically Dmitri and Ivan.”
“To make it fair, you can use both of your assistants in the challenge. If you’re afraid that my tiger will beat both of them, I can make them stay fused the whole battle.” Akita grinned.
“You think you’ve won because you have a work around to the…shall we say..dilemma I gave you?” Deng-Long sneered. “You forget I’m a master magician as well! I may not have a definitive edge anymore but I still calculate my odds at 50% you cocky fox!”
“I dunno Denny,” Akita smirked. “I feel like you relied on it pretty darn hard. When’s the last time that stegosaurus practiced? Lookin’ kinda flabby.”
The audience chuckled.
“Uh, looks like our contestants are talking a little too much shit before the show.” Arcane Dolan glared at the two of them. “Perhaps they should…perform. Now.”
“Sir!” Mothar hissed. “What do we do?”
Deng-Long licked his lips, aware that Arcane Dolan was staring at him impatiently.
The Kirin needed a moment to think. Merges were difficult to fight. Deng-Long personally didn’t use them because of one fundamental flaw: they were one being in the end. It was an all-or-nothing gamble to place a merged assistant on the field. He was pretty sure fighting them each one on one was actually more advantageous-as a team, they were flawless.
But stupid Akita had basically taunted him into fighting them together in one big fight. Or not so stupid, really. The audience was an important part of any performance. Playing safe was not an option anymore, he needed to keep the crowd titillated. If he had to fight them, he needed…he needed to…
“Sir?” Mothar asked.
“Both of you take them.” Deng-Long murmured. “Split them apart and target one over the other. If one falls, they both fall.”
“Yes sir.” the stegosaur said.
The ogre and the stegosaur sauntered towards the center of the stage, lining up against the two tigers.
“Both opponents are ready!” Arcane Dolan shouted. “Looks like they plan to settle it all in one big match!”
The audience cheered.
“Magicians, to your places!” Arcane Dolan pointed to two podiums.
Deng-Long and Akita assumed their places on their podiums, facing each other.
“Bow!”
They bowed.
“Let the magic show begin!” Arcane Dolan shouted.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
The stegosaurus smashed the ground in front of the orange-eyed tiger, who leapt away deftly. On the other side of the arena, Mothar fought with the blue-eyed tiger. He was running into the same issue. The tigers simply evaded all of their attacks.
“By the powers of the wind, I invoke thee.” Deng-Long pointed at the stegosaur. “Whirlwind.”
The stegosaur felt air rush behind him, pushing him just that tiny bit further on his next swing. He caught the tiger mid-leap and tossed him across the stage.
Yang glanced over at Yin, who was lying in a heap in the center of the stage.
Mothar took his opponent’s momentary lapse as an opportunity and swung his fist, catching the tiger right below the chin, sending him sprawling.
Suddenly, a cloud of smoke flooded the stage floor. Mothar glanced up and saw Akita smiling. He should’ve known the magician wouldn’t make things so easy.
“This is a transformation battle.” Deng-Long snarled. “You summoned a smoke screen?”
“You turned it into a brawl.” Akita shrugged. “Rather inelegant, don’t you think?”
The smoke glowed in the center of the stage where Yin had fallen, and then Taijin emerged, rubbing his chin.
“He’s fused!” Deng-Long shouted. “Take him out while he’s unsteady!”
The stegosaurus and Mothar both charged.
“Let’s see.” Deng-Long murmured, eyeing the ogre and concentrated. “Arms of the Saints!”
The ogre’s body glowed, armor appearing out of thin air, strapping itself to him. In his hand a great metal Tanabo appeared.
“As for you…” Deng-Long stared at the stegosaur. “Form of the Nuclear Lizard!”
The stegosaurus stuttered mid-charge, his body pulsing, frame creaking as he grew larger and larger, nearly twenty feet tall. His beaked face twisted, becoming more like a tyrannosaur. His scales grew thicker and a glowing blue energy coursed through his spinal spikes.
“Here’s a transformation for ya!” Deng-Long grinned triumphantly at Akita.
“Yes, yes, very nice.” Akita muttered and chanted a spell.
Before the two warriors could smash Taijin into smithereens, the ground erupted underneath him. The Nekomata shot into the air on a pillar of stone. It was clearly an improvisation on Akita’s part, because the Nekomata was screaming and gripping the stone.
“It’s fine.” Akita shouted up at them. “You’re fine!”
Taijin recovered, staring down at he crowd below them.
“Uh, yes, of course I’m fine.” The Nekomata cleared his throat and stood, brushing himself off as casually as he could. “Thank you for assuring the crowd of my fine..ness! I, Taijin, planned this move all along!”
The crowd murmured.
The ogre started beating at the stone pillar with his club, almost knocking Taijin off his feet. The stegosaur/kaiju fired a ray of heat at him, forcing the tiger to leap over it.
“Use your spells!” Akita shouted up at the Nekomata, who was very busy dodging blasts of radioactive fire.
“Spells?” Taijin’s brow furrowed. He ducked another heat ray. His eyes widened. “Oh right!”
He dodged another heat ray and then raised a clawed fist. A ball of fire swirled into existence in the padded palm of his paw. He threw it at the ogre.
The ogre managed to hit the fire with his club and the ball exploded in his face, sending the ogre sprawling. The stegosaur made to fire another ray and got hit in the face. The enormous reptile stumbled back.
“Hey, Arcane!” Deng-Long shouted and pointed at the pillar. “Come on! He left the stage, he’s out!’
“Nope.” Arcane shrugged. “The rules only say if an opponent leaves the stage by landing off stage. If you can make him fall off into the crowd…you win, I guess. Except for the liability insurance fees we’d charge you for intentionally hurting our guests.”
“All we have to do is knock him into the crowd?” The stegokaiju grinned. “No problem.”
“Only if he lands offstage.” Arcane Dolan warned. “If he’s supported by magic or something, he’s still in the game.”
“Boss?” Taijin called down to Akita, watching the two assistants circle the platform below him.
Mothar was hefting a piece of the damaged stage and eyeing the tiger’s position. The stegosaurus had his mouth opened, energy building inside him, swirling around the edges of his toothy maw. It was clear what their next tactic was.
“I’m on it.” Akita said, pointing at the air above the crowd and chanting.
Suddenly, the air filled with glowing blue platforms.
“They’re stable! Keep throwing fireballs!” Akita yelled.
“You wanna play the long game?!” The stegosaurus bellowed, “Fine, I’m game!”
The tiger leapt from platform to platform over the crowd, evading the rubble and gouts of flame. All the falling debris exploded just before hitting the crowd, becoming confetti or candy or fireworks that lit up the gallery.
Taijin returned fire, throwing balls of flame down onto the enemies below him.
The ogre batted most of his flames out of the way, scattering the explosion. Flames rained down onto the audience below. A few chairs were set alight.
The crowd gasped in horror and more than a few began to crouch behind chairs and run for the doors. A boulder nearly struck a member of the audience, but just before impact it exploded into a shower of confetti. People began to panic, there was a scream, and then the crowd surged for the exits.
And then everyone on stage froze. The stegosaurus was mid-belch of flame, the ogre hand back for a throw, Taijin mid-leap. Dolan hurried out into the middle of the stage, waving his hands.
“Fear not, dear audience.” Arcane Dolan smiled. “No harm may come to you!”
The crowd milled about, uncertain.
“It’s fine, take your seats, please.” Arcane Dolan gestured.
The crowd slowly sat back down, muttering.
Arcane Dolan walked back behind the stage and clapped his hands.
Time resumed.
Taijin panted, dodging more boulders. It was getting harder and harder to maneuver away from the bulky projectiles. If he fell, he’d be disqualified.
He defiantly dodged and weaved, performing feats of acrobatics most could only dream of. It wasn’t until he evaded a large piece of the stage floor that he realized he’d run out of platforms.
The ogre hadn’t just been batting his fireballs away, he’d been swinging for the platforms. Each time Taijin had thrown a fireball, he’d unwittingly been giving Mothar ammunition to take away his movement.
“Looks like you’re in a bind, tiger boy!” Mothar taunted, hefting a big piece of rubble, aiming for the platform. “We’ve finally caught you.”
“Shit…” Taijin glanced surreptitiously at Akita, who nodded. “Fine, Plan B then.”
The ogre hurled his final piece of rubble and Taijin leaped.
The platform exploded into a heavy cloud of smoke.
Mothar and the kaiju peered into the obscuring smoke-cloud. Something was thrown at them. The stegosaurus ducked and the object hit the stage behind him.
“What the hell is that?” Mothar hissed, not taking his eyes off the smoke cloud.
“Ugh, his fucking thong.” The stegosaurus tossed the thong away.
“Here he comes!” Mothar warned.
From the cloud, two naked and rather well-endowed tigers leapt and rolled onto the stage.
“They split again!” Mothar swore.
“They’re weaker!’ Deng-Long shouted down to them. “They’ve split and fused three times now! Charge them and throw them off the stage!”
“Right!” the Kaiju saluted and charged the closest tiger.
Mothar charged his. One of them would be the real Taijin.
“Gotcha!” Mothar grinned, picking up the blue-eyed tiger, who struggled in his grip.
The stegokaiju was having difficulties with his prey. The tiger was much faster when split for some reason and the kaiju couldn’t seem to grab him. Mothar waited, squeezing the struggling Yang in his grasp.
Yin leapt out of the way of another of the stegokaiju’s grabs and Mothar hurled Yin straight at him.
They hit each other, glowing in mid air as they began to merge.
“He’s going to fall on stage!” Deng-Long shouted. “Hit him with your Radioactive Fire Breath, Bob!”
“Bob?” Akita asked. “That’s the stegosaurus’ name?”
Deng-Long ignored him, eyes on the falling, figure that was merging together.
Bob the kaiju took a deep breath and fired his heat ray. It struck the falling Taijin square in the chest and blew him into the crowd. The figure exploded into fireworks on impact with the far wall.
“Fireworks?” Deng-Long frowned. “Why…”
“We got him!” Bob cheered. “We won!”
Mothar roared triumphantly.
“A little early to celebrate, boys.” A voice behind them said.
The two assistants turned and saw the Nekomata behind them grinning, paws crackling with electricity. Taijin slammed his fists into both of them. Sparks flew and their bodies shook, muscles seizing as the high voltage arced through their bodies, leaving them stunned.
Mothar’s eyes widened. The tiger was wearing a thong.
“How?” Bob groaned, falling to his knees.
“You threw me away, remember?” Taijin grinned.
“You transformed into a thong?” Deng-Long screamed. “How?”
“Well, I knew I was going to be targeted, so I leapt, used my last bit of magic to split, and then Akita conjured another platform and the smoke cloud and turned me into a thong in the space of about five seconds. My other self threw the thong onto the stage.” Taijin sighed. “Then my other self tossed his cuff-links, which transformed into copies of me, and jumped.”
“I-inanimate transformation and high-speed spell-casting?” Deng-Long stared. “You could have died!”
“Sure.” Taijin shrugged. “We planned this just in case.”
The tiger ripped away his thong and tossed it at the crowd. The audience went wild, cheering.
The stegosaurus swept his legs out from under him with one swipe of his tail.
Mothar and Bob piled on top of him, grabbing his arms, shoving them behind his back.
“Augh!” Taijin struggled, glancing at Akita.
Akita looked down, worried. The rules prohibited magicians from directly casting spells on their opponent or his assistants.
“Fast knockout.” Bob said, nodding at Mothar.
Mothar picked his club off the ground and stood over the struggling tiger.
“Lights out, pal.” Mothar grinned and swung his club.
Just as the club was about to connect with the tiger’s skull…Taijin disappeared, leaving Bob holding a thong.
The stegosaurus’ eyes widened in horror just before the club slammed into the top of his skull.
Bob hit the floor, unconscious.
The crowd went wild.
“H-how!” Mothar whirled “He was real! I know he was real!”
“You got it wrong, big guy.” Taijin rose behind him, flexing his muscles, claws crackling. “I’m all real.”
“You motherfu-!” The ogre swung his club at Taijin's head and whiffed, club striking empty air. He looked down, seeing the tiger in a crouch, grinning, claw reaching for the ogre’s crotch. “You wouldn’t!
“Oh, I would, partner!” The tiger grinned and grabbed Mothar’s bulge.
Electricity crackled.
“Aaaurgh!” Mothar’s body twitched, the smell of burning pubic hair wafting through the auditorium.
Then the electricity stopped, and Mothar dropped to the ground, unconscious.
The tiger stood and thrust his fit in the air.
“There you have it folks, we have a winner!” Arcane Dolan shouted. “Let’s hear it for Akita and Taijin!”
The crowd erupted in cheers and applause.
Akita walked down and took a bow with his new partner.
“You did quite well for your first performance.” Akita said, “I’m glad you entrusted me with your safety.”
“Thanks, I was worried that last trick at the end wouldn’t work.”
“Well, they forgot this isn’t an actual battle, it’s stage magic.” Akita shrugged. “It’s all about illusion.”
They gave the audience one last bow and walked off stage.
Deng-Long’s eye twitched, fuming as he watched the two of them leave.