Brent took every step carefully. Once outside, she gingerly shut the door and watched the hall. Misty met up with her moments later and gave her a quick pat on the shoulder. The instant relief was immeasurable. It was also startling to see her so much taller then Brent.
“Dina said she had to step away for a minute. Restroom or something, I guess. Shall I keep you company? It’s actually my break.”
Brent’s heart sunk. She was sure that Dina would be out there to greet her. She must’ve had a personal emergency related to anxiety or physical issues. Nervously, Brent glanced a few different ways then quietly nodded. Misty led her to a break room off to the side. The walk was gradual with Brent quivering like a newborn fawn. Even the couch she invited Brent to rest on didn’t quite provide a true respite.
Her knees settled together with a gentle gap and felt like it was vividly hinting at the contours behind. Meanwhile, her bust remained a punctuated, unmistakable presence on her chest. The other workers casually noticed her but didn’t interrupt their lunches. She felt awash in so many confused emotions, wondering if there was something different she was supposed to do or if she offended them by being here. It was a little like when he was a young boy and some sparkly thing on the shelf caught his attention and he soon lost sight of his mom. Young Brent steadied himself and carefully balanced between sudden panic with searching for her and tightened ease in remaining where he was and waiting.
Each and every time, she found and scolded him. This time, he felt like he lost much more than just his way. Nervously, she wondered if the workers by the table secretly hated what she was. Perhaps their knowing glances communicated an entire language of derision. Brent tried to keep her head down and her stomach settled. She didn’t want to cry but it felt like the only rational action. Misty plopped over next to her on the couch with a sigh and a shrink wrapped sandwich.
Kindly, she inquired, “Would you like something, maybe a water?” Brent shook her head. What she really wanted was to wrap herself up in the biggest blanket and insulate herself from the world. She tried to shut her eyes as tightly as possible, like when she was a kid, and just pretend this was the same as hiding.
“I’ve rung and auto texted the number provided on the paperwork a few times but I haven’t been able to get through to your girlfriend. Are there any other means of contact?”
Wrapping her frail arms gently around her insignificant stomach, Brent kind of wished she asked for a water but instead inquired what numbers they had on file. When Misty read them off, Brent frowned and relayed that those didn’t sound like any of their numbers. She gave her Dina’s personal cell phone along with the contact number at her work and her parents number. She got a little nervous about providing that and added his own numbers.
Misty set a hand on her shoulder and reassured her, “Oh it’s fine, we have a direct line to sheriff’s office tracking. Some big security conglomerate does it for us and takes the facial recognition of anyone who comes into the business and runs it against social media to track down any false info. Most customers get a warning, but if we discover they have given us thoroughly false information in verification then their account can be fined between $100-$500. Usually this is part of billing their accounts but if there are suspicious elements then we can give them a warning text message. I think that’s reasonable, don’t you?”
Brent felt woozy. She had no idea how this afternoon had gone from some college stuff that Dina needed to do to needing to threaten his girlfriend with a fine if she didn’t show up. A bubble of nausea collected in her throat and she gently asked for some water. Misty eagerly retrieved a large bottle for her.
It didn’t take long after Misty posted the fraud warning as a text to Diana‘s number, that not only was the message read, but that Dina typed up an angry reply in all caps screaming obscenities at the business and saying that she just stepped away for a minute. Misty raised an eyebrow and showed Brent. Some measure of relief eased the tightness in her throat, like seeing that her mom was on her way.
Brent just took a little sip of the water because she fretted that if she took more then she nervously might have to use the restroom in this state. Walking out of the break room felt like a terrifying balancing act within this strange body.
Girls that passed them by along with men made Brent feel as though some obvious flaw was evident across all of her features and each lingering look exposed it. Clearly, they saw those massive G cup boobs on her chest rising against gravity and dominating that sports top. Placing her hands around and on top of them not only seemed terrifying but thoroughly ineffectual.
All too soon, they were back in the main waiting area and Misty led her over to a comfortable spot off to the side. Dina still wasn’t around. it took a further twenty minutes before she showed up with her mouth running a mile a minute. She chewed out the company and cited all sorts of legal junk that neither of them could follow. She amended her contact information and wasn’t charged.
Very few of her words were aimed towards Brent, except to say that “she looked good”. She did turn over Brent‘s wallet, cell phone, and everything else of his she had, at Misty‘s insistence, and then Misty bagged them. Framing that she had a terrible health moment and needed to run to get supplies, she then reiterated that she would be back in ten because of another issue with her car. But Dina left a toxic masculinity test linked on Brent’s phone and instructed her to do the questions as she felt normally and then as she felt now.
Once she was out of the store again, Misty sighed and commented, “You may not see her again.” This puzzled Brent as she focused on the test before her. Misty assured her it was fine, just an idle worry.
The test was similar to ones she had taken previously. It asked on a scale of 1 to 5 various things. Should a boyfriend or husband know where a girlfriend or wife is at all times? She definitely wanted to keep in communication with Dina just to make sure everything was all right but she feared being pushy and controlling. There were a lot of questions about gay friends and homosexual relationships and whether they made her angry. She didn’t know a whole lot of homosexual people but she didn’t have any problems with them. It asked about sexual partners. Things that made her mad. Spending a lot of time on looks. Then odd questions about criminal activities.
At the end, the test declared Brent as being 20% more deceitful and arrogant than the average person. It said she was more disposed to anger as well and focused on heteronormative metrics. She was less homophobic than the average person but far more predisposed to toxic masculinity.
“That test looks like total bullshit”, Misty chimed in when scoping out the results. She hung around even while helping other customers and gave Brent little notes of encouragement. Brent made sure to take screenshots of all the results and then ran the test a second time from her current feelings rather than her previous ones. To her disappointment, if anything, the results were more off the population baseline.
More than ten minutes easily passed. Brent rested against the counter, especially with her new load. She just wanted to get out of here and get some explanations about why Dina couldn’t stick around. What Misty said about her never coming back stuck in her brain like a toothpick rattling around all the sensitive tissues.
She willed herself not to believe it and felt a little flash of annoyance that Misty would even claim such a thing. She didn’t know her girlfriend. Yes, she could be a little bit high strung on certain issues and she had her quirks and definite positions of philosophical note. But she wasn’t going to just leave her here or anything crazy like that.
Eventually, what war Brent could fight with her new bladder had to end and accept reality. She appreciated that the main bathroom was gender neutral so that she didn’t have to stare down a little figure in a skirt. Inside, it was an instant relief to just sit there. The stream was wild and practically impossible to properly control as it gushed out of her. Dripping from that delicate spot felt hotly embarrassing. She didn’t want to focus on the emasculation and the sense of castration that so little existed outside her body. It wasn’t that. It was something even crazier that everything she knew had been inverted and hidden away.
It was unlike anything she ever should’ve felt. Just experiencing it was like being severed from everything she knew before. And it wasn’t ego, like that she needed a big dick between her legs. It was altering everything she could imagine. For every plaintive thought, she grumbled about how manly and reductive she sounded.
Wiping away the wetness but not quite feeling clean, she made her way back to the seat to nervously await Dina‘s return. A further ten minutes later, she finally received a text message on her phone with a photograph included. Instantly, she felt as though every bone inside her body had been shattered.
The photo was of a random curb with the crystal they had given them for restoring her shattered into what looked more like candy colored dust. She saw an included message but couldn’t look further before she dropped the phone on the table and scrambled and jiggled her way back to the restroom. It took a long time to fully empty her stomach despite it getting smaller.
Only when it felt like she had nothing left inside her, did it stop. A couple of the workers helped her to her feet and Misty rejoined her as soon as she could. Misty clutched her mouth in horror as Brent’s eyes looked past waves of tears to attempt to read the message.
“One less man in the world forever. Reducing the choking cloud of toxic masculinity. You should be grateful for this lesson in the sisterhood. I am moving out, don’t try to find me. I’m taking everything that’s deservedly mine and going on a sabbatical for spiritual enrichment...” at a certain point she just copy and pasted stats about rape, sexual violence, and bodily mutilation abroad while raging about men. Her text ended without any further explanation or a postscript.
It was then that Brent finally cried despite the dehydration of her empty stomach. She cried beyond any point she could ever imagine with her body. Misty took her aside into a small room with bunks and chairs. She ran through the tissue like it wasn’t even there. Pressed up into a fetal position, her face was raw red and she looked even frailer.
Misty had harsh words for Dina but Brent shook her head. Brent knew there had to be something she’d done wrong to make Dina retaliate in such a way, to absolutely destroy his entire being, to leave him like this without any further explanation. She could think of thousand random slights she was learning from but Dina had told her that all that was fine.
“Don’t try to rationalize it”, Misty urged. “I’ve dated some crazy bitches in my time. There’s no answer for it.”
That admission barely created a blip of surprise from Brent as her waterfall of tears were drying up. Misty encouraged her that $100,000 in insurance culpability would fall on Dina. But getting even had no teeth for Brent. She just wanted things to be normal again. She just wanted her life back. Sadly, Misty told her that with the destruction of the crystal, especially so thoroughly, there was no way for them to reprogram the nano particle. Brent was stuck like this for the rest of her life.
Misty noted, “I can relate. Because I’ve been through the same thing. Slightly different circumstances but same results.”
Now it clicked for Brent. Misty confirmed she used to be a man, actually a relatively handsome man. Unfortunately, she got into a situation where her partner put the burden on her. They got caught but the results were permanent. Misty folded her arms and dipped her head. Softly, Brent apologized. Misty glared.
“Don’t apologize, you didn’t do anything. We each let someone walk over us at the wrong time. Now we gotta live with it.”
Brent couldn’t imagine how but Misty encouraged her that it would be all right. How that was possible, eluded Brent, especially when Misty seemed to tower over her 5 foot 3 frame. The absolute mass of her boobs dominated every situation. And there would be no getting around them. No reduction, no medical option.
She was Lucy Amanda Hollins to the world. No other choice.