The Leonin scratched his mane and ordered a beer. The other players were pestering him with questions. He refused to answer. He chugged the rest of his drink, burped and then turned on them all with a snarl.
“Did none of you read the campaign notes?” Lancer roared.
There was a sudden silence among everyone in the room.
“Uh, no.” Troy shook his head.
“Nope.” Drew twirled a dagger. “Boring.”
“I was going to, but…” Greg scratched a heavy pec and shrugged. “Porn.”
“I skimmed them. Those were towns!” Jeremiah said excitedly.
“I just joined. I have no idea what’s happening but it sounds dramatic.” Drake said solemnly.
“If any of you had bothered to read, you would have noticed a correlation with reports of an increase in crime in Garudia and ships going missing on a shipping line that passes nearby.” Lancer sighed, shaking his majestic golden mane.
“What’s the correlation?” Greg asked.
“Ooooh, I know!” Dustin raised his hand and waved it, jumping in place.
“Go ahead Dustin.” Lancer sighed.
“If you read the description of Garudia, it explicitly states there’s an influx of exotic goods from Basidoron. Guess whose trade ships are being attacked by the Crimson Corsairs?” Dustin said excitedly. His tongue lolled out the side of his mouth. “Then you add up that travelers on the roads near the cove in question are disappearing, and you can see where Mark threaded several plot hooks together so no matter what thread you tug, you end up fighting the Crimson Corsairs at some point.”
Everyone stared at Dustin, who wagged his tail. It slowed, then wilted under the intense scrutiny.
“What?” Dustin asked. “I read the notes.”
HOLY SHIT, RAIN MAN
“You are exactly right, Dustin.” Lancer nodded and pat the gnoll on the head solemnly. “You are, indeed, a good boy.”
“I know!” Dustin nodded.
“So what are we waiting for? Drew asked. “Let’s go kick some Crimson Corsair butt!”
“We don’t have a boat.” Greg pointed out.
“Steal one from them?” Drew shrugged. “Maybe a sloop?”
“Does anyone have the sailing skill, or the Fisherman or Pirate background?” Troy asked.
Everyone shook their heads.
“I mean, we are playing a setting in a desert. I didn’t think we’d have to sail!” Drew said.
“There’s an entire chain of islands on the map he provided.” Greg spoke up. “But I’d figured we’d sail there later in the campaign. You know, hire a captain and stuff.”
“I can always build one.” Drake said brightly. “I have an engineering background.”
“But you still don’t know how to sail it.”
“Then I’ll make a steamboat. Old Ironsides.” Drake grinned. “It’s a game changer.”
“I’m afraid it doesn’t work like that.” Lancer said. “If you intend to take up the Task of the Golden Caliphate, you must present yourself and register with him in person.”
“Sounds dangerous.” Drew said, fingering his knife and grinning. “For him, that is.”
“He has guards.” Lancer said. “It’s a tradition to announce the Task at the beginning of every new Caliph’s reign. Trust me, they are prepared.”
“Okay, then I guess we rent rooms for the night and then buy some horses and supplies and leave in the morning, after we do our introduction today.” Troy said. “Let’s say we meet back down here in an hour?”
Everyone nodded. It turned out, they did have gear that needed to be stowed for now. It wasn’t like he needed to lug around a huge backpack with a bedroll through town, right? Troy examined his huge body in the mirror. Did he want to stay a Rhox? Troy supposed that was the issue with the power to transform yourself; you’d never be able to settle for just one species.
Troy heard a few people say ‘Sassy Orangutan’. It was a good time for a bathroom break. He walked downstairs. Lancer was having a whiskey at the bar.
“Hey.” Troy said, sitting next to him.
“Hello.” Lancer swirled the whiskey in his glass.
“So how do you know so much about this place?” Troy whispered to Lancer.
“I was stationed here three weeks before the Golden Caliph died.” Lancer whispered back. “As a Knight of the Stalking Lands. We were the ones who occupied Hamaduri when the last king sided with Paimonia in the Triskelion Wars.”
“That’s a lot of words.”
“Politics.”
“Ah.”
“Are you real?” Troy asked.
“I don’t know anymore.” Lancer licked his lips. “I’m afraid. What if I don’t exist, Troy? I’m just a name on Mark’s world-building notes.”
“Pretty sure he’d recognize you if you were on his world building notes. Dude has an eye for detail.” Troy said. “I’m not planning on sending you home any time soon…And my name is Icarian.”
“Ah, of course,” Lancer’s lips curled into a smile. “Icarian.”
“Where’s Rashid.” Troy asked. “The otter?”
“I think I saw him playing cards with those lads over there.” Lancer turned and pointed to a back table.
Troy looked across the room. The small otter was grinning deviously, cards in hand. A pile of gold coins were stacked in his corner.
“I Suggest you boys fold right now because I have a winning hand.” Drew was saying, one hand fingering a a hoop earring, the other holding his cards.
The other player’s eyes glazed over for a split second. Troy watched as an ethereal dice appeared over Drew’s head and rolled. It came to a stop on a natural 20. The other players animated again, glanced at each other, then folded.
“Thank you, thank you, you guys were great!” Parti-color-haired otter grinned and scooped up the pile of gold and hopped down from the chair.
As Troy watched, he became aware of something glittering on his horns. His eyes crossed as he focused on them. Two rings were secured snugly on them. Troy gingerly touched them and realized they were his Books, altered to fit his character. He guessed it was something Drake had done to ensure that he could reach his Book if something went wrong.
He glanced over to Drew, wondering if the Book was the hoop earring he kept fingering. Maybe it was that dagger he was always twirling. Troy knew Drew was cheating somehow, but he couldn’t tell what he was doing. Drew made another persuasion roll and it landed on natural 20 again. Troy narrowed his eyes. Again and again, Drew rolled 20’s.
So…Book of Mind then? That was a tough Book to fight, since there would be no real warning if Drew decided to attack Troy. He could just slip his spell into the middle of a sentence. Not to say that Drake’s Book of Transmutation was any less dangerous, of course. That Book was made for combat.
Speaking of Drake, he sat in the other corner, at a table in the back with a chair that gave him a clear view of the door. The little kobold’s only clothing is a small vest and shorts with a small bag attached to a belt at his hips. His 1 1/2 foot tall frame was shorter than most kobold’s. He’d chosen a red dragon as his lineage and his minor resistance to fire meant the kobold would stay cool in the withering heat of the desert.
Mark’s comment about Drake being a scaly must have been spot on, because his little tail wagging none stop. He was inspecting his body and making strange little squeaks of delight. So, maybe turning him into a kobold wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world to him? Troy spotted a glittering bracelet on his arm-the same one he’d been wearing when he walked into the room before, in the real world. That must be his Book.
It could also be the Steel Defender, he realized. Drake might be tricking them. What if he’d entered that room fully knowing two Book owners were there? The kobold hopped up onto a chair, swinging his little legs with glee and ordered some food. Drake glanced around and saw Troy staring at him and waved.
Troy had so many questions he wanted to ask him. Like, for example, how he managed to create technology that was merely theoretical in the real world. And how he perfectly recreated a facsimile of Lancer’s world-or had that been Mark’s doing the whole time? But he’d have to ask them later. He wasn’t sure if he trusted him yet. He definitely didn’t trust Drew.
Worst case scenario, Jeremiah gets tipped off to their Books and the end up in prison…or having to eliminate Jeremiah.
A half hour later, everyone was ready to go.
“Everyone got your gear?” Troy asked.
Everyone nodded.
“Then let’s get going!” Jeremiah said. “I wanna get this show on the road.”
They left the bar and walked through the city streets. The buildings were tall, often two or three stories, with vast canvas awnings and canopies that stretched over the street, providing respite from the glare of the sun. A cool wind blew in from off the sea, bringing with it the briny smell of sea. Troy could hear seagulls crying overhead.
The city had multiple raised walkways. Slaves and the poor walked down the lower streets, while the more well-off tread on the upper walkways. The upper walkways were much cooler than the stifling alleys, so they walked on them as a matter of course.
Troy and Lancer walked together.
“Look, I know you’re weirded out, but we’ll get to the bottom of it. I swear.” Troy said quietly.
“What explanations could there be?”
“Tons, when magic is involved.” Troy said.
“I feel like Fuzz Brightyear in Boy Story when he discovered he was just a toy.” Lancer said. “I need some alone time, Troy.”
“But...wait!” Troy called as Lancer picked up his pace and left his side. “What if I find out something good?”
“Inform me then.” Lancer called back.
Lancer speed-walked ahead, catching up with the rest of the group. Troy sighed and kept walking slowly. He didn’t notice Drew sidle up to his side until he felt a poke on his tough, leathery hide. The rhino man looked down.
“Yes?” Troy asked.
“So when you were talking to that cop earlier.” The otter whispered. “You said a dragon was summoned at your office building?”
“Yup.”
“So Mark has the Book of Myth, right?” Drew said, eyes gleaming. “That’s why there’s so many Myths at his workplace!”
“Had.” Troy murmured.
“What do you mean?” Drew blinked.
“He fought with the Book of Beasts. He lost.”
“So who’s the Book of Beasts?” Drew asked, brow furrowed in concern. “I know that Drake is the owner of the Book of Transmutation.”
“That’s a fair guess.” Troy said. “And you must be a Book owner too.”
“What?” Drew blinked. “H-how’d you know?”
“Lucky guess. Which one is it?”
“Obviously I’m not telling you!” Drew puffed his sausage chest out.
“Oh, a weak one then. Book of Mind?”
“It’s not weak!” Drew slapped his tail on the ground in irritation. “With the right spells I can get anyone to do anything at all!”
“You couldn’t get anyone to like you.” Troy pointed out.
“Yeah, well…” Drew blinked. “Wait! How the hell do you know about the Books?”
“Because I-.” Troy was cut off by the sudden sound of trumpets.
All of the players glanced around, wondering if this was the signal of some sort of attack.
“He did that on purpose.” Troy muttered.
“What, interrupt our conver-?”
The trumpets sounded again.
Then, a booming voice blared throughout the city. It began to make a long, poetic recounting of the exploits of the Great Warriors of the Golden Caliphate who came before. Many of them sound truly wondrous. Establishing an embassy with the Court of the Marids. The Bottled city of Mutamin, the Last Performance of the Great Poet Kalid, and the most recent winner who brought back the head of a Sahuagin Queen, whose clan was predating the waters.
As the last echoes of the litany died out, the voice of a man boomed throughout the streets.
I am the Golden Caliph, Khalil al-Assad al-Zahir. This city faces many hardships and yet, we endure. The predations of the sahuagin queen will trouble us no more. But a far greater threat to the Golden Caliphate has arisen! Therefore, let the boldest of my citizens seek a wonder for all to see. I will greatly honor he who succeeds and returns with this wonder, conferring upon him the title Great Warrior of the Golden Caliph. By this deed shall all the world know that the Golden Caliphate is great and mighty still!
The voice faded.
“Anyways, you were telling me about how you knew about the Books?” Drew asked.
“I know about the Books because…” Troy paused and shrugged. “…Because I’m the one who defeated Mark.”
“Y-you turned me into an otter?!” Drew sputtered and snarled.
“Yes. And a cute one too. I don’t know if you noticed, but you’ve got quite the caboose there buddy.” Troy smiled.
“Why am I so…gay looking?” Drew asked. “You only have the Book of Beast and Body.”
“Honestly…” Troy trailed off. “I don’t really know. Maybe you are gay?”
“I am not gay!” Drew hissed.
“Well, don’t look at me!” Troy raised a hand to his chest. “Only the Book of Mind could change someone’s orientation. Probably need to combine it with the Book of Body to do that. I don’t have any spells that can do that!”
“Why’d you change me in the first place?” Drew demanded. “You were nice to me.”
“I believe you called me a furfag.”
“But you literally are.”
Troy blinked and sighed. “Yes, Drew. I’m sorry.”
There was no arguing with some people.
“Change me back!” Drew demanded.
“Into a loser everyone else can’t stand?”
“I-uh…shit!”
“Silver lining under every cloud.” Troy shrugged apologetically.
“What do I do?” The otter clutched his adorable face in his hands.
“I dunno. Get those cheeks clapped? Bounce on a few dicks?” Troy suggested.
“I’ve never had gay sex before.” Drew whispered.
“You’ve never hadany sex before.” Troy pointed out. “But I dunno, that outfit you were wearing makes me think your ass isn’t as tight as you think it is anymore.”
Drew looked at his ass. “Wouldn’t someone say something?”
“Drew, half the table is gay or bisexual.” Troy said. “They’d probably say ‘can I have a go’?”
“Would you say that?” Drew asked.
“I’m dating Lance.” He said, looking over at his beloved boyfriend’s broad back. But was he really, though?
“Dude, the way he’s been acting, I’m pretty sure you summoned him. From Mark’s fake world. He isn’t real.”
Troy had been avoiding those thoughts, but he was beginning to think that was true too.
The small otter gripped his shin. “I’m real, Troy.”
“I’m way too big for you.” Troy said, swallowing, trying to hide his erection.
“Then become something that fits better.” Drew said, his cute face doing its best impression of puppy dog eyes. “Please?”
Troy sighed. “I’ll have to ask permission from Lancer first.”
“Why?”
“Because you don’t cheat on someone, even if they are fake.” Troy scratched his head. “Plus, uh, pretty sure he’s come to the same realization you did. Kinda fucked up to find out you literally cease to exist when you get summoned.”
Drew walked along beside him, silent for a moment.
“What about Multi-Universe Theory? What if, by thinking of this world, Mark literally created it?”
“I thought you were sure he was fake?” Troy asked.
The street turned into a bazaar up ahead. Their group were only a couple yards away, but they’d likely lose them in the crowd. It wouldn’t matter, their destination was the same.
“Maybe I was being mean.” Drew said quietly.
“Maybe you shouldn’t be mean, then.” Troy replied.
“I could make you date me.”
“Like you tried to make everyone else like you? Plus, I don’t think Books even work in here.”
“I Command you to take me into an alley and fuck me.”
Troy stared at Drew. He felt the spell hit him. His cock had grown achingly erect and he did want to fuck Drew. But he was holding the Book, so he just adjusted his crotch instead.
“Did it work?” Drew asked.
“Well, I’m probably going to fuck you tonight, when Lance gets all distant and moody and sleeps downstairs at the Inn instead of in bed with me.” Troy shrugged. “Guy’s pretty predictable.”
“So that’s a no, then.”
“No.”
“I thought you were friendly.” Drew said morosely.
“I didn’t take your Book. I could have, you know.” Troy pointed out. “I could have turned you into a mouse or something.”
“I can always turn you into something else if you want.” Troy said. “I can do a really good bear. There’s all kinds of Myths…”
“I’m good for now. I wanna be a handsome human.” Drew said.
“Unfortunately, I don’t have the Book of Body. No matter what form you take, you’ll always be fat.” Troy shrugged. “And I think trying to change someone without the proper Book causes random reality shifts. Like your clothing designer gig.”
“I mean, I kind of always wanted to design clothes. And your new job, did you hate your old one?” Drew asked. Troy nodded. Drew pondered the response for a moment. “Maybe it’s playing into our own desires when reality shifts.”
“You might be onto something.” Troy pondered. “Or it was because the first thing you did was stitch together an outfit and the first thing I did was steal a construction worker’s clothes.”
“I wonder what would have happened if the first thing I did was play DnD.” Drew thought out loud.
“You know, that might be fun to experiment with!” Troy said excitedly. “Would you end up a professional DM or something?”
“Sure, but with zero experience.” Drew said. “I might be known as a clothing designer, but I don’t actually know how to do it properly.”
“Come on, I’ll carry you.” Troy said, lifting the chunky otter and cradling him under one arm. Drew nuzzled the crook of Troy’s neck and Troy had to bite his lips. He wanted to take the otter into an alley and fuck him right now…but was that him talking or the spell Drew cast earlier?
They caught up with the others as the ascended the steps to the palace. Guards wearing golden plate and armed with pikes stood inside the doors, the air unnaturally cool inside the walls of the grand alabaster-stoned building. They were not the only group to make their ascent up the hill to the palace. A few other motley groups awaited the Caliph’s blessing. Theirs was, by far, the largest. The only other group which rivaled their size was a band of mercenaries dressed in spiky armor two groups ahead of them, most equipped with fearsome axes and crossbows.
The line moved relatively quickly, and soon the grand double-doors opened and they were escorted inside. The Caliph was youngish, maybe in his thirties, though his age could be deceiving, From Troy’s understanding, there was an alchemical concoction the Caliph imbibed that reduced his aging. For all Troy knew, he could be well over a hundred years old.
They trod on a dust-covered but ornate crimson rug to a grand golden throne. The room was a glowing eggshell white, and though the windows were open, the air here was still cool, and no breezes blew through the windos. Magical protection, Troy decided.
They got on their hands and knees and lowered their heads.
“Rise.” The Caliph waved his hand impatiently. “I greet you, adventurers! I have a task designed for you.”
“Designed?” Drew spoke.
“Be silent when the Caliph speaks!” A guard next to the Caliph hissed.
“It’s is fine, Bayed. Yes, designed. My spies informed me of your presence. I know of your talents and abilities. This task I set before you is of utmost importance.”
The Caliph gestured and a man stepped forward, a map in his hands. He presented it to Lancer. The regal lion man took it and bowed.
“Knight of the Stalking Lands, your group has been given a significant task. The Crimson Corsairs are, indeed a threat to our stability. I’ve come to understand you have intuited their lairs, correct?”
“That is correct, oh Caliph.” The Leonin rumbled.
“Know that I cannot make any direct moves against them myself, as they prey only on foreign ships. However, that has had a direct impact on our country’s imports. You have your…Task.”
“Sounds more like an order.” Drew muttered.
“Oh, no, I would never legally order you to do anything!” The Caliph feigned shock and winked at the rogue. “That would be politically inadvisable. I merely task you with dealing with bandits and pirates.”
“Of course, oh Caliph.” Drew snickered.
The Caliph nodded and gestured for them to leave.
When they descended down the staircase, they found themselves being rushed by rogues, sages and fakirs, all of whom appeared to have some kind of information on the location of great artifacts. That wasn’t their mission, they’d gently tell them.
Troy was busy fending off another sage offering them clues to a magic sword’s location when he felt a gentle tug on his belt. He was going to check what it was when he heard a wail behind him. He turned as the sounds of coins dropping to the stone below him rang out.
A short man was clutching a wound on his hand, bright red blood dripping onto the stones and a scattering of gold. Drew stood next to him, knife to his throat. Troy checked his belt and found his coin purse had been cut at the bottom.
Guards shouldered their way through the crowd, clearing the streets, and hauled the thief away.
“Gotta watch your purse around here, Icarian.” Drew smirked.
“Right. Thanks.” Troy replied.
“Zuberi, Gnuz and myself shall gather supplies and some horses.” Lancer said. “Rashid, Icarian and Sulpu, the prince awarded us 500 gold for deducing the location of the Crimson Corsairs. Find proper crafting materials. Greg?”
The studious-looking half orc adjust his gold-rimmed half-moon glasses and produced a scroll with a list of items that needed to be procured.
“I want you to start on your steam ship design, Sulpu.” Lancer said. “Do you know how to craft it?”
“Yes. I’m an engineer.” Sulpu said proudly.
“Good. See you at the inn when the sun sets. Zuberi and Sulpu both have Flare as a spell, correct?”
They both nodded.
“If you run into trouble, cast it.”
They left, wandering the streets of the city.
I FORGOT TO ANNOUNCE THAT YOU’VE LEVELED UP FOR COMPLETING YOUR QUEST
Troy shivered, feeling knowledge of fighting fill him. He felt a bit healthier as well. Level three was when most things kicked off, so until then, he really had nothing to do. One of the things he disliked about 5th edition, actually. Having to wait two levels before you actually became a rogue or a wizard was boring.
“This is so cool!” Drake yapped. “I out did myself!”
Troy and Drew exchanged a glance
“So, uh, Sulpu.” Drew asked, “How did you know what world Mark was going to make?”
“You mean for the table?” Drake asked.
“Yeah.”
“Oh, I didn’t. Reality shifted and since Mark was using it for his campaign, well…it did exactly what it was supposed to, and loaded up his game.”
“So you have no idea if this is a simulation of a real alternate reality or if this is just a recreation of Mark’s imagination?” Troy asked.
“Uh, I mean, it’s gotta be fake, right? With all the magic and stuff?” Drake said.
“I Command you to tell us the truth.” Drew said.
“I am telling the truth!” Sulpu stamped his foot. “Why would I lie!”
Drew glanced at Troy and shrugged. “I believe him.”
“Dammit.” Troy’s face fell.
“What’s the matter?” Drake asked.
“I-” Troy began.
“We’re just trying to figure out if this world is real of not.” Drew interjected, shaking his head at Troy.
“Oh. Well, I hope my answer helped.”
It hadn’t.
Troy went through the shopping trip on autopilot. Drew and Drake were much more enthusiastic. They'd passed by a fabric store and Drew had insisted on entering it and browsing. They spent almost two hours in there and left with a foot-powered sewing machine and several bolts of silk and cloth. The gadget store that was run by an artificer took even more time. By the time they’d finished shopping and were literally carting their haul back to the inn, the sun was setting and Troy was exhausted.
AN HOUR IN THE REAL WORLD IS 24 HOURS IN THE GAME, GO AHEAD AND REST
“What about food and stuff?”
TASTY BUT FAKE. JUST SAY THE SAFE WORD IF YOU WANT TO EAT. YOUR CHARACTER WILL ACT ON AI AUTOPILOT MODE.
“Cool.” Jeremiah said. “I’m heading to bed. Sassy Orangutan”
“I’m using my downtime to craft.” Drew said. “Sassy Orangutan.”
Everyone went to autopilot and ejected from the game.
“I guess we’re taking a break, then?” Mark asked as they came back to the real world.
Everyone nodded. Jeremiah stretched and left for the bathroom first. Troy wondered if he should transform Drake now. Maybe later, he wasn’t interested in anyone running around screaming that they’d been changed again, not with Jeremiah here.