So I'm a wizard, right? Not one of those old fogeys in a tower messing with demons and alchemy, but one of those grandkids who can do a few cantrips and gets read in about the whole shadow government and coven rights. Blah blah let the skein of the mortal world advance on its own, just spam normalcy and don't cast anything big outside private or a dedicated warp zone....surprisingly smaller deal than it should be. Like, not just because like a dozen gods and a bunch of heroes have private soldiers, but that they all want the public impression to be this fake minimal-magic vibe.
But whatever, I live in a cheap one-bed one-bath kitchen-included suite that's part of a larger communal thing in a dedicated magic user town. Us lousy mages balance stuff they want private with stuff they want other casters supporting them on. My suite is private, but most of the actual hang-out-y stuff and parking garage isn't. I'm landlord slash groundskeeper of this mess, so I just futz around, cast repair spells for the tenants, clean up after parties in the common area, ensure the auto-landscaping stuff's fine, pay taxes, shit like that. Most of the people who live here do petty conjuration, or mundane low-income jobs so they can mess with people. Since whoever built this place decided it should count as an apart-hotel and there needed to be a mini public bath thing going on, we keep a few open rooms and while we have gym equipment it's not the main attraction. A few people both mundane and magical wander in every so often, but it's more a 'ring bell for hospitality' or 'I'm skimping on a gym membership and coming here' thing than not.
The social contract is like, abusively loose since so many mages are into weird sex stuff or actively cast with it. Culturally, basically keep it safe sane consensual, and the adults-only common area is assumed to be unwarned kink unless reserved otherwise. You can jerk off in front of everybody unless someone asks you to stop perving on them, but at least the wizards are more likely to ask if they can touch. Whenever some homeless guy gets misled here there's a high chance of them ending up in some weird BDSM service gimmick by the tenants, not gonna lie.
I, Gaylord Dumas (yes mage names are stupid and it's also French) sleep around a bit accordingly, mostly with dudes. I look like a few college-age stereotypes blended poorly and with a magic tint. White guy, average height, on the physically weaker side, black hair awkwardly fauxhawk hairstyle, eyes like the void (eye contact is just boring), dick is unimpressive. I have enough magic I don't need to be doing human things, but I do most of them anyway to have more energy for actively staving off aging even though I'm older now. Alright, that should be enough burst backstory.
So my old friend Scruffy shows up with a spirit tree that's also a sex toy, get this. He says he picked it up in the wild before the shadow getters picked it up, and they're legal to keep in your own business bathrooms if you're a wizard. Modularity magic and it's a spell trainer for wizards who aren't that good normally. Tall curly-haired guy with a thick beard wants to show off, so he's rummaging around in his pants. Disconnects his junk like a packer, pretty big stuff, and lets me suck on it while he's doing the thing. Welp. So we set it down in the accessibility stall, thing shifts into a bit of a bring-your-own-fleshlight glory hole fleshlight included, and he shows me how it works because I could use the power. I pull his dick out of my mouth, plug it in, and bam those spiritual branches are physical branches. He shows off some of the dicks on it and picks a big red one that does something about warmth or whatever. So the tree puts it in his pants and he grabs his old dick back before transferring it to a spirit space of some sort, wowzer. One heck of a cost saver and it seems to work, so I try it.
I pull my pants down, slide in, and bam, redesign hits. Whole flow of magical energy information channel transference, and it wants to make some structural edits to my crotch to ease all the other magic stuff. Sure, sure, let it do the thing and wham, nuts and bolts stored in spirit space. I've got this space in the bush that's around a li'l urethral hole, plus a bit of editing some other structure. But before I can pick out a new dick, Scruffy tells me about this challenge. Spend a day experimenting with dickless wonder and a detachable dick to cover the basics, then really get into spell experiment stuff. Pick up like a dick a day, get into a magic safe spot. Record what it does with pissing, with stimulation, with cumming, stuff like that, not just the basics it tells you automagically but the vibes for how to get where it says it can expand to. Seems like a lot of effort and a bit of kinky pacing to me, but whatever fine show it off.
I poof my dick in and out of spirit space for a bit to admire the weird fleshy back-pad of its dildofied still-very-functional self and how my bush moves out of the way to put it on or take it off. Well, take a format.
Piss review: Scruffy says some goading bullshit or other and explains this really futzy feeling when controlling whether I'm pissing out of the filler-hole or my disconnected dick, and I tell him about a prank spell that makes you really gotta pee if he's so up for examples. Shows off his new fire-dick's atmospheric heating function with that, then pulls it off and swaps out for his original one so he can show the trick already while the room's cooling back down.
Stimulation review: The dick is basically the same dick as usual. The blank space when I don't have a dick there is a bit sensitive and somehow you can sound it, but it's not much compared to a sensuous butt grab. If my dick's physical I can get hard from it, but if it's in spirit space it stays at about the level of hardness it was without causing problems (meta-circulation magic or something). Without my dick being there, I can basically let arousal rise and fall or I can tie it to the specific arousal and then basically lock my horny in place.
Cum review: Pretty much the same dick as always, but a bit of fun being able to give handjobs from unusual angles and blowjobs to myself and I'll have to try fucking myself a bit more later. If I stimulate a lot around the body while dickless arousal rises, but somehow orgasm becomes like a primarily-anal orgasm because go figure no dick. Scruffy volunteered to pound cockless me to anal orgasm and then have me lock lust there. Was some really convulsive toe-curling stuff, especially when he came midway and then switched to some way bigger dick to stretch me from the inside. I pull off his new titan schlong or whatever and I'm all breathing heavy moaning with pleasure stuff, humping with nothing, whatever I'm happy with. At least, until I got impatient to see how it'd end and summoned my dick back, instant massive load until the built up stuff finished. Biggest one-guy load I've seen that wasn't using amplifier magic. Good trick, would recommend and I bet Scruffy's going to try it somewhere else. So some cleaning magic later I'm back at the tree and looking at my options before Scruffy heads home for the night and I've got spells to learn in my pants.
So let's see...dick description and the three spells it's got linked to it. One for converting piss, usually something easy or material. One for just stimulating and waving it around (usually something more ritually manipulable). One for converting cum (usually something big spell that needs to be built up and charged before it happens or a better version of whatever it trades piss for). Course, you could just not cast the linked spells like if you're fucking around with something blasty, but we're here to learn.
The tree says what it's gonna do and the broad deals of how the spell-dicks work, so leaving it around is no big deal for the wizards (you generally don't make it to adulthood without trigger discipline). Announce the new dick machine in the common room and the challenge, remind people about safe spell zone procedures, and...then use the one in my apartment to see what those kinds of things do.