“Ow… ow… ow… ow… ow…” Colin groaned as he trudged down the aisles tossing returns onto the shelves.
“Colin?” Marc asked as he set the box of Chex down.
“Hey Maaaaark… ow…” Colin groaned “ow… ow… ow…”
“Jesus dude, what the hell happened?” Marc happened.
“My girlfriend had a little too much to drink… things got crazy… nothing too *ow* serious…” Colin groaned.
He trudged down the aisle grunting and groaning, putting box after box after box back in its proper place.
“Owwwwwwwww….” Colin groaned as he fell to his knees.
“Oh you poor thing, let me help you up.” A passing customer said as she got under his arm and lifted him to his feet.
“I can handle it, ma’am… owwwww….” Colin groaned as a burst of pink light made him jump.
He blinked a few times and looked over to see the woman had suddenly aged about thirty years, with broader hips and a bust that made Tina look like Lucy.
“Are you sure sweetie? You don’t want some soda or coffee or…” she asked as Colin started pushing the cart again.
“That was weird…” Colin said as he pushed the cart further down the aisle.
A customer in her twenties ran up to him “Hey there, do you know if-“
Colin suddenly twitched violently as a huge shot of pink energy struck her head on. Her beanie disintegrated as her messy brunette hair straighten itself out and tied itself into a braid, her whole face looking fifteen years older. Her skater clothes became tighter and more faded as her breasts suddenly jumped from Cs to Gs and her thighs thickened up.
“If there’s someone to help you, sweetie?” She asked.
“Uhhhhh, I’m good, almost… almost done.” Colin said as he scrambled to empty the returns cart and get out of there.
“I’m starting to sense a pattern here…” Colin said right as another surge of pink light began shooting out of him.
A couple passing by got struck head on, emerging as blonde forty something twins with asses bigger than Christy’s.
“Is everything okay?” They asked in sync as Colin frantically rolled away.
An hour goes by, and another one.
This time it was a hangry man swallowed up by the pink as Colin struggled to serve him in the food court. When Colin opened his eyes he saw a short stack forty year old brunette with her anger turned towards two yapping chihuahuas.
“I am so sorry sir, I just don’t know what to do with them… sir? Sir?” She asked as Colin froze in disbelief.
Colin decided that he would let Olivia take over, and headed over to the women’s clothing area to restock the ankle socks.
A random chick with tattoos ran over to him “Hey, do you know-“
A bright pink light flashes once again.
“If the bras without any underwire are back?” She finished asking twenty years older and breasts a few dozen cup sizes bigger.
“Hurrrrgh….” Colin grunted as he tried to hold one in.
‘Alright, getting my way through the customers…’ He thought ‘I just gotta make it a few more feet.’
“Excuse me sir…” a woman in a suit asked as she tapped his shoulder a little too hard.
*Frrrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaashhhhhh*
“And then I said-“ Olivia started as a massive ball of pink light filled the store.
“What the hell?!” Ronnie said as she ran out into the store.
Colin fell to his knees before passing out on the ground.
“Colin!” Wendy called out in a panic as he passed out.
Suddenly a bunch of thirty and forty something women swarmed him.
“Oh my, is he okay?!”
“Somebody get the manager!”
“Does anybody know CPR?!”
“What the hell’s going - Colin!” Chet yelled as he pulled out his phone…
***********************************************
“Please wake up… please wake up…” Christy said sniveling.
“Uhhhhhh…” Colin groaned as his eyes opened.
“He’s awake!” Lori said over a hospital bed.
“Oh thank god you’re okay!” Zoya said as she hugged him, “You passed out in the middle of work!”
“I did?” Colin asked.
“Your boss called us right as it happened, paramedics had to pull you out of a mass of older women.” Lori said.
Colin went wide eyed “Older women?”
“Yeah, a whole bunch of them brought you stuff!” Lori said as she pointed to a pile of baked goods and other odds and ends on the counter.
“I’m sorry!!!” Christy cried as she hugged him, “Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry!”
“It’s okay Christy, I know you didn’t mean to….” Colin sighed.
“Mr Greys, you have a visitor.” Another nurse said as Christy dried her eyes and walked out.
“Okay, let them in…” Colin sighed as he laid back down.
Then she came…