As you walk home, you turn the remote over in your hands. It's wrapped in that awful hard plastic that you can never get undone. You pull and try your best to tear the packaging, to mostly no avail, until suddenly, just as you turn onto your street, something gives way. You whoop, as you successfully make a small hole. The only problem is how to get the rather large remote through said hole.
You stop outside your neighbour's house as you grapple and try to free the remote. Your neighbours have always had a peculiar taste in architecture, particularly old, nearly medieval styles. It complements their gothic personas, but it also means that you have to deal with the gargoyles they attached to their slate roof to divert water staring at you all the time. You can even feel the ugly ornaments' gazes boring into you now, as you wrestle the remote out of its godforsaken packaging. Just as you're about to rip your new toy free, it gets caught in the plastic just at the last moment, triggering the button and sending a flash of red light into the sky. You think nothing of it as you examine the remote, turning it over in your hands as you carelessly discard the package. That is, you ignore it until you hear the cracking.
You stop and stare as the neighbour's gargoyle detaches itself from the rooftop. The small creature rolls its wings back before leaping
off the roof and gliding to the top of the wall next to you. You narrow your eyes. You swear that it was smaller on the rooftop...
But no, it's not your eyes playing tricks. The gargoyle jerks and twists as it grows larger and larger in contorted bursts, claws digging in and cracking the brickwork beneath its taloned feet. When it reaches a height of 8 enormous feet, the ugly, snarling stone creature leaps off the wall and lands in front of you. Its 12-foot wingspan is outstretched, and though it hunches to a still imposing 6'4, the sheer size of the beast is terrifying. Each chiselled stone muscle stands out, bulging and strong, while wicked sharp claws top its fingers and wings. Spines run down its back. Thick lips contorted in a hideous grin do nothing to hide the massive fangs and forked tongue.
As the monster begins to step towards you, you watch as a different change occurs. Its hips widen, and the pec shelf becomes adorned with two huge globes of flesh, each tipped with a rocky nipple. Its cheekbones lift slightly, and stony hair falls in cascades down its back. The sharp, spade-like tail becomes a little more rounded as it forms a heart-shaped tip, though it still glints terribly sharp.
You find yourself quickly backed up against a wall as the hulking, oddly feminine gargoyle corners you. A thick muscular arm slams into the wall beside your head, creating a spiderweb of cracks as it impacts. The beast leans close, its black, forked tongue flicking out to taste you...
And suddenly, you're swept into a bone-crushing hug.
"Alex, oh it's good to see you," she rumbles. Her voice is deep and gravelly, less of a definitive sound and more of a feeling that resonates deep in your bones like an earthquake. "Tell me, how have you been?"
"I've been good," you trail off, confused. "Hold on, who are you? What are you?"
She tilts her head at you. "Why, I'm your mother, of course. Your loving, gargoyle mother."
She releases you, and you have a chance to look down at the remote in your hand. It dawns on you. "Holy crap, it works, it actually works!"
"What works, dear?"
"The remote!" It accidentally fired on you, and then you turned into this-"
"Hold on, dear," she stops you with a wave of her large, clawed hand. "What do you mean you turned me into this? Are you feeling well, dear?"
"Of course I am," you snap.
She straightens, and you suddenly feel small in her impressive shadow. "But you seem confused. I raised you from birth, my dear. I've... always been your mother."