You almost tumble off your bed laughing. You seem to almost hurt your back a little a process, even, because it sort of feels like something's poking out back there and starting to feel weird just a bit. You still manage to raise yourself up in a seated position and catch your breath to see your father's face again. You're still chuckling a little when you start to speak again.
"Wow, that was a good try, dad! You're gonna have to plan your pranks a little harder if you wanna keep up with my drinking buddies. But all right, I can take the hint. I'll figure out some kind of volunteer work I can do during my gap year. Maybe an hour a month at a soup kitchen? I'll figure out something something tomorrow, but can you please get out of here now? I still don't have my clothes on yet. I know you love dicks but you shouldn't be staring at mine."
It's his turn to laugh: "Jokes on you, Theodore. You don't believe me, but if there's anything you'd like to do one last time as a human, you should do it now before it's too late. This quantum realignment nonsense is the real deal, and soon we'll both know that. Just wait and see."
You huff and cross your arms with a sarcastic grin, pretending to wait for ten or fifteen seconds before laughing smugly, motioning toward your unchanged arms and legs and sexy abs and enviable scrotum. Nothing seems out of the ordinary, except whatever's rubbing across the sheets behind you. You laugh and tell him, "Well, I'm still me it looks like. I guess the maids will have to throw out your expensive toy in this week's trash, and--"
You stop in mid sentence because you realize something DOES feel different to you right about now. Just what ARE you rubbing across the sheets back there, and how exactly are you doing it? You feel the motion, hear the noises, and see your dad staring at something behind you with a wide grin on his face. The motion stops almost as soon as you fully take notice of it, but you can easily make it start again. It feels like you're waving an arm or a leg around, but it's coming from the end of your spine, and--THUMP!--you startle yourself by smacking whatever-it-is fairly hard against the mattress, so you snap your head around to look behind you and gasp!
There, stretched out behind you, is a long brown hairy thing that looks like a furry animal, or at least like some part of a furry animal. It stiffens under your gaze as if you have startled it, and you can't understand why it looks like it's clinging against you at the top your butt. And then you realize that it almost looks like a--
"Very funny, dad," you look at him and relax, feeling the motion start again. "That was pretty sneaky of you, putting a fake dog tail on me while I slept. You must have dished out some big bucks to actually get it to wag like that, but I'm--"
Reaching around to grab it makes you interrupt yourself mid-sentence again, because you suddenly feel yourself actually getting grabbed back there! Widening your eyes, you start fumbling with the strange object with both hands and discover that you can feel everything that happens to it, even all the way down to its fuzzy tip. Confused, wanting it gone, and realizing that a fake tail shouldn't feel this way, you yank it off as hard as you can, but it doesn't budge. Instead, a harsh pain shoots up your spine like a missile.
"OW!! SON OF A BITCH!" you shout, letting go of the thing instantly. Your dad guffaws. You flash him a frantic look and ask, "How the hell do you get this thing off, Dad? Come on, you gotta help me get rid of this, it's stuck on too tight and it looks so real that it's freaking me the fuck out. This isn't funny!"
You feel your weird attachment pressing uncomfortably down into the bed, so you lean to the side to give it more space against your butt, but that only allows it to tuck between your legs, which scares you even more. You feel its fur against your balls and realize this frighteningly realistic tail is really making you look like a frightened dog! How could a glorified costume accessory know when you're afraid like this one seems to?
Your dad manages to control his laughing enough to say, "Don't look at me, boy! I'm never changing you back, so I guess you're just going to have to start being nicer to your poor tail. I bet you haven't even notice your ..."