I gasped surpisedly! Not my love of my death (get it cuz im goffik) Ty!!! I had to stop her. But I didn't know how...
That's it! I get on my hands and knees and knelt on my pentagram and said my sins and blasphemies to the hellord Satan!!! "Oh Satan," I said in a very depression voice. "My goffik boyfriend Ty (it's short for Tyrantula Bloodsukka Wi'ldstorm, bcuz he's suuuuper cool like that) is gonna be mind controlled by that evil preppy Britney."
Suddenly, a portal from hell opened up at my feet and Satan came out!
"Jeff'ry Weird'ness Neuro'tic Crow Way!" he boomed in his deep evil voice. "You had me at preps!"
"O my satan!!!" I squealed. "Can I get your autograph?"
"Sure," he replied, and took my hand and bit it with his vampire fangs. It was totally cool though cuz it healed super quickly because I have powers like wolverine and left cool scars that spelt out his name. And then he looked me in my limpid blue eye with his deep bloody red ones and said "I give you the power of transformation. Go and change those preps into good goffs and demons."
"Yes Satan!" I screamed as I shot my red moonbeams (they look like lazerbeams but they're cooler) out of my hands and turned the stupid normie bed they gave me into a red velvet lined coffin with black lace and blood stains.
He waved at me as he went back into the pentagram. "Oh and also Jeff your my son ok?"
Armed with this knowledge and my awesome powers of Plot Contrivance and Mary Suedom, I went to go confront the preppy bitch Britney.
She was sitting with her cheerleading friends, listening to Taylor Swift and Katy Perry. Her friends were playing with her fake blonde hair and putting makeup on her face that wasn't even good or anything, just preppy colours like pink and yellow but not cool punk neon either. She turned around to make kissy faces at Ty as he sat in the corner like a cool lone wolf. I marched up to her.
"Britney! Stop being such a preppy bitch!" I threatened threateningly.
"Like, stop being a loser, lol," she said back, laughing in a high pitched girly giggle.
Glaring at her, I charged up my bloodmoonbeams and shot them at all her cheerleader friends. Suddenly, they all became big-tittied goth girls.
"Woah," they groaned in a dark evil voice. "Being goffik is so much better than being preppy!"
"Like, no it's not!" shrieked Britney banging her hands on the table like a two-year-old having a tantrum (that's totally not someone's fetish). "Stop being losers like Jeff'ry!"
"No they aren't," I smirked, and all the sexy demonic goff chicks fell at my feet bcuz they're my harem now and every goth loves me because I'm the Alpha goth despite being shy two minutes ago. I shot my red moonbeams at Britney but this time I made it slow because I wanna see her prepoy face melt as she accepts true evilness and goffdom.
First her fake blonde hair turned black, and then her makeup slid off her face to show her skin turning red underneath. Her green eyes turned red and she bit her lip flirtingly with her goffik vampire fangz as her boobs became really big. They were starting to push out of her cheerleading top but then it changed to a black leather corset with bone white lace and red ribbon tying it up at the middle of her chest so I could see her sideboob. Then her short preppy skirt became a black leather miniskirt and it had black belts and silver chains all over it, and under it was balck fishnets and red tights with roses on them. Her stupid preppy canvas shoes became high heel knee high boots with red laces and spikes all over them. And then she grew black horns and a long pointy tail.
"Omg," she said with seduction. "I'm a succubus!!1!"
And then Ty came over to us...